Photo by Amol Tyagi on Unsplash
"Remember the Sound of Music?" Marla texted, lying back on her bed. The rays of sun pierced through the windows and toasted the smiling girl a gorgeous shade of happy. The peaceful chimes alerted her to his immediate text back.
"Yeah. Leisl. Freidric. Gretl. I think there was a Hansel in there and a gingerbread house too."
Rolling over on the bed, her chest reverberated with chuckles. He loved to make her laugh, and she loved to laugh because of him. Her thumbs tapped a beat across the phone keyboard. "No gingerbread house!"
"If you say."
"I was thinking of that 'Favorite things' song. It always makes me happy."
"Everything makes you happy."
"Not everything!"
"Name one thing that doesn't."
She paused. "Crying doesn't make me happy."
"Didn't you just tell me the other day that movie made you cry hard, and you felt so good after?"
"Ok. 😁 Everything makes me happy."
"Am I included in everything?"
"You are.😇"
"You're enrolled in your first choice of college. Full scholarship. Your dad just got promoted. Have the most adorable puppy that refuses to chew your shoes, no matter how hard I try to make him."
"You bum! 😄 lmao!"
"You've got one handsome boyfriend - if you don't mind me saying -who is 100% certain he will marry you in 4 years when you graduate with your degree. Now, HE won't have a degree, but he just signed a contract with a major label and his song just went top 40."
"Number 1 fan, here💖!
"You're everyone's favorite person. 4.0 student. New car. Our trip to London is 7 weeks away. What more could a girl ask for?"
Dear Reader, you might think that this is where the news comes that her mom has terminal cancer, but she doesn't. She's healthy and vibrant and has 45 years left of life, and will then die peacefully in her sleep.
You might think that our girl is about to get into that new car, and get hit by a truck on the way to relocating to her new dorm in University. No, Marla graduates in 7 years with her MBA and goes on to found a Fortune 500 company.
What about the boyfriend? That young? He will undoubtedly find himself eaten up by the entertainment business, be sent to rehab in 3 years, have an affair with some roadie, and become a has-been by 25? On the contrary, he goes on to make millions from a song that he wrote for our girl, asking her to be his wife. His fame is unmatched, and their 4 children stay up late, eating pizza, and watching him take the stage to accept 2 Emmys.
No, there is no twist here. Some people have it all. They are born with a silver spoon in their mouth, and they pass on platinum ladles to their children.
Life is life. Some of us are dealt a royal flush, while others are sweating over a pair of 2's.
If you have the misfortune of holding the 2's, allow me to give you some advice.
Bluff your ass off, and take the pot.
I'm rooting for you.
Personally, I think religion was invented to try and make sense of the crazy inequities. Otherwise, people might run around in a state of constant rebellion and/or despair.
Thanks for the 'get real' talk :))
ha ha! Of course, I'm happy to always be real with our community 😅
The opening really captured my attention.
Love this metaphor.
I also loved the subversion of expectations, I've been trained by society to expect conflict and pain in most stories, especially when where a scene is set so idyllically. When you suddenly break the fourth wall and tell me that no conflict is coming, then spin it into a lesson about playing the hand we're dealt...well...
...brilliant stuff.
Interestingly, I just posted a dialogue-based piece on Free Speech, Censorship, & Downvotes, and I bet it would've been a lot better if I modeled some of your writing techniques, lol.
That said, it's a pretty long piece already, and I'm not sure if I could squeeze in epic metaphors and reality-subversions quite the same way with it.
Anyway, I really enjoyed reading this, thank you. 🙏
ha ha! What a decadent comment for me to enjoy! Thank you so much for your thorough appreciation of my work. I apologize that I haven't been online in the last few days due to some last-minute travel. Your comment, however, was a welcome reminder of why I missed this platform so much!
Thank you again, and next time I'll be expecting the "subversion of expectation" in your work. I hope you will tag me in the comment section so I can come enjoy! ha ha😅
Glad you enjoyed it!
All good, all of us end up online when the time's right for us. Gotta do you, right? :)
I'll see what I can do and tag you as well, though I believe if you actually expect the subversion it becomes a lot trickier, lol. 🙏
Once again, an unconventional approach to a story, but an approach that works. When the narrator addresses the reader directly, it's like breaking the fourth wall in a performance. You shake the reader and effectively say, "Get real."
That last bit,
Works beautifully, although there are some readers who may resent being jolted with a dose of reality.
Thank you for posting this story in the Ink Well community. Please be sure to read the work of other writers in the community and share comments with them. We are urging everyone who posts in The Ink Well to take this step, going forward, to ensure our community members are supporting one another. (We also have this in The Ink Well community rules on our home page and in our weekly writing prompts.) Thank you!
ha ha! True, they might resent it. But similar to life, the jolt is presented to them, without any authorization needed. 😅
This community makes writing so pleasurable because writers always crave an audience. Every time that I've written, at least one person has come to appreciate it, but usually many more.
You do a very wonderful job nurturing us all. Thank you @theinkwell!
You are a great community member yourself, @stormcharmer. It is much appreciated.
This is a truly motivational piece.
Like they say in my country, "this life is not balanced".
So we deal with this the best way we can, and not by wishing things are better.
I got a message today @stormcharmer, thank you for that.
I'm so happy to see you. I haven't been around. Went out of town unexpectedly 😅
I agree, we deal the hand we are dealt to the best of our ability. No use comparing or complaining - just thrive!
Congratulations @stormcharmer! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
Your next target is to reach 4500 upvotes.
Your next target is to reach 300 comments.
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPCheck out the last post from @hivebuzz:
Support the HiveBuzz project. Vote for our proposal!
This is a very different sort of story, @stormcharmer. Thank you for shaking things up and keeping it real!
I suppose it's true that some people are born with a silver spoon in their mouth and they get to go through life unscathed, but I believe it is fairly rare. Everyone has problems, even those with deep pockets. Our challenge as writers, I believe, is to make those problems interesting. And that gets more difficult when it comes to characters who "have it all." They don't have to lose a relative too young or sleep with a roadie and burn out on drugs, but there would surely be some interesting ups and downs in the life of a famous musician! I'll be watching for that story. Bwah ha!
I see you are planting seeds for more stories now! 😅
I am not sure of the ratio of people are born with silver or platinum or tin. ha ha! For me, it's just a simple story of the girl who had it all, and never lost it. You know, however, it usually skips a generation. Her children were probably nightmares! 😅
Thank you for always coming to visit my work and sharing your insight. It always makes me smile! :-)
Ha ha... yes, many things skip a generation!
Congratulations @stormcharmer! You received a personal badge!
Wait until the end of Power Up Day to find out the size of your Power-Bee.
May the Hive Power be with you!
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
Check out the last post from @hivebuzz:
Support the HiveBuzz project. Vote for our proposal!
Congratulations @stormcharmer! You received a personal badge!
Participate in the next Power Up Day and try to power-up more HIVE to get a bigger Power-Bee.
May the Hive Power be with you!
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
Check out the last post from @hivebuzz:
Support the HiveBuzz project. Vote for our proposal!
Congratulations @stormcharmer! You received a personal badge!
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
Check out the last post from @hivebuzz:
Support the HiveBuzz project. Vote for our proposal!