Taking a Break (While the World Turns)

Winter is coming here in Poland. Even though we had a beautiful, warm and golden autumn, the last few days saw a change in the weather and I think temperatures might start going down quickly, now. Generally, I love the late autumn and early winter outlook, and the low temperatures are not a problem for me—I have always preferred them. However, this year I have many more worries on my mind.

For the last 5 or 6 years I had lived in cities, renting out flats and not having to worry for too many things. In the winter season there was always district heating enabled and my only concern was to turn my heater on or off. Same with the hot water—you can have it any time you want. Fairly saying, I'd assume that given that nothing major happens (like a huge crisis or a war), those things could be taken as granted.

In September this year, though, we have moved with @niebieskibezczas out of the city and moved into her father's house in the countryside. This meant a huge change to my life from all sorts of perspectives, one of them being getting rid of all the conveniences that living in a city gives. One of those things that out in the countryside you have to take care of yourself are house and water heating. The fact that we have a huge energy crisis creeping up on us as we speak, it only makes matter worse and more worrying. We are in the strange situation, where it is basically illegal to burn anything (wood, coal, pellets), so one is not able to generate heat from these sources. At the same time prices of energy are skyrocketing: coal, natural gases, oil, electricity... In that case I believe it is wise to start thinking of ways in which one might be able to achieve at least some level of energetic independence, by any means possible. The governments are not going to help you.

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I spent the last two months trying to take a break from the man-made turning of the world. First I focused on settling down in our new home: there were a lot of things to unpack, place somewhere, many old habits to unlearn and many new habits to learn. This, together with an extreme mental fatigue, inspired me to try implement a few radical changes into my life, hoping that they will help me recover and gain the necessary strength—both mental and physical.

A lot of my fatigue came from using (and overusing) the technology. While I do spend a lot of time at my computer, because there I do all my work, I found myself spending more and more time on my iPhone. I'd feel extremely tired at the end of the day, having spent the last 10-12 hours juggling between my 9-5 job, other projects, preparing meals, etc., but at the same time I wasn't able to take proper rest (like reading a book, listening to some music, or going for a walk). Instead I felt numb and was only able to sink back into the world of technology: watching videos on Odysee, reading news, following Hive, etc. I was wilting.

Around a month ago I decided that I'll need radical steps taken to break out from this inertia. I bough an old phone (namely Philips E106) and dumped my iPhone into the drawer. I couldn't get rid of it completely, as I still need it to accept bank transfers or use 2FA on various sites, but it is hidden in the drawer most of the time. My Philips phone, on the other hand, only allows me to make calls and send SMS messages. I also use it to set up my morning alarm, aaaand... that's basically it. It doesn't even have camera built in, so I can't use it for anything else. After this month I have few reflections that I'd like to share here.

Firstly, I spend almost no time on my social media, especially these bad ones. I do read Hive (although not as much as previously) and watch Odysee from time to time (I have a few accounts which I subscribe and I tend to spend 10-15 minutes daily there). I almost completely dumped everything else, and I feel a sort of detachment growing in me. There are shit storms happening almost daily on Facebook, Twitter, etc., people feel obliged to voice their opinions and fight with other opinions, like their lives depended on it. Meanwhile I usually learn about those shit storms from someone a few days later, when the whole thing is already forgotten by most and there's a new shit storm that needs people's attention. It's hard not to feel disconnected and detached.

Secondly, I make more phone calls than ever, and I think this is a good thing. It was many years ago that I switched from making phone calls to writing text (SMS at first, and then using internet messaging apps). It played well with my somewhat withdrawn personality and the fact that I am easily overwhelmed by stimuli. Unfortunately, the thing that I didn't notice back then, is that it also builds up a distance between people and makes the act of communication devoid of a deeper emotional connection. Because it is extremely painful to write SMS messages using the T9 keyboard layout, I find myself just picking up the phone and making a call—even if it's a trifle. And once I've made the call anyway, I'll also ask how it's going or what's up.

To add to all of this, I decided to took a whole November off at my job. I felt that I needed it badly to recover and rest, and I mentioned to my boss that I am going to leave the job if I do not receive the permission for my unpaid leave. I did receive it, though, and now I am a little bit in a limbo—I did not leave my job (yet), so I do not feel that I have shed the weight off my shoulders, but I do have much more time to enjoy my life and focus on other things.

The first week of my month off I spent almost entirely working around the house, preparing for the winter. There was a lot to do, but I have my girlfriend's father to help. We had to do a major cleanup of the garage, so that I can fit in my car there before the snow falls. It's hard to believe how many unnecessary things we had there, and how much garbage we were able to throw away, as it was only taking up space and contributing to the overall mess in there. We finished the cleaning up process by making a huge bonfire, which helped us to symbolically say goodbye to things we've thrown away (and warmed us as well!).

There was also a lot of work to do in the garden, like removing all the fallen leaves and cutting the grass the last time. We have also prepared a small corner in the garden, where next year we plan to have chickens for lying eggs—which I am looking forward to. The garden is a little bit neglected in general, due to various reasons, but I think it will be very rewarding for me to take care of it—some manual labor will do me good for sure.

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The world keeps on turning, and changing—especially now, with all the pandemic goodness in place. It's good to at least sometimes take a break from the man-made turning of the world, to disconnect and focus on how the world changes on its own, independently of what happens in the Matrix.

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