On that last point, that was me. I was constantly struggling and unhappy. I took solace in alcohol. Until one day, I got fed up with it all and decided life could be better. Since that day, I have worked and improved myself. My values changed from that day forward. As a result, the lives of my family is much better now than it ever was.
I often compare that moment to Scarlett O'Hara's decision to never go hungry again in the movie Gone With The Wind. Something clicks.
I think many people have a limit as to how far they will allow themselves to suffer. For others, they may not know that they can set a limit. Or, they may not want to set a limit. Or, maybe it is better to not bother than to try hard and fail. There is no telling what people value, especially if they haven't asked themselves that question.
As humans, we have a great propensity for adjusting to conditions and when they are worsening, we keep winding ourselves down - saying one day it will get better. I liken it to the lobotomized frog in the slowly heating pan of water.
Many people seem to need rockbottom to become curious. I am glad you are doing better in life now -I wish there were more.