Love alone is not enough to sustain a marriage. I have heard of marriages that crumbled within the first two years, and some could not even survive the first month.
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People sometimes marry for the wrong reasons. Some go for fine face and physique but forget character. Others marry for money and ignore who their partner truly is until they are living together and discover it's something they can't cope with. By then, it's already too late, and the story often ends in divorce.
There are many things I personally see as deal breakers in marriage, and I will be listing them one by one with the reasons behind them.
I am not only speaking for myself but for most men. Cheating is our number 1 deal breaker. No man likes another man to have intimacy with his wife; it hurts to the bone marrow, and it is an unforgivable offense!
I also believe that for your partner to cheat on you, it means love is no longer in that household, cos if she still loves you, she will never think of cheating on you with another man. So no matter how I love my partner, no matter the future plans we had, once that happens, it is over, and no one can make it work.
Men love to be respected, and any relationship or marriage that lacks it would crumble fast. I can't be feeding and taking good care of you, and the only thing you have for me is disrespect, either at home or in public; it is never allowed! And the end result could be a broken home when the man reaches his limit.
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This is another thing that can push a marriage toward divorce. This happens when the in-laws won't stop poking their noses into the couple's affairs, and to make it worse, they expect the husband to cater for them too.
Some in-laws really cross the line when they start asking their son-in-law for money. It shouldn't be happening. If they need something, they should tell their daughter, and she can ask her husband. His answer may be yes or no, depending on whether he has it. But when the in-laws ask him directly, they only put themselves in an awkward position - Especially if he doesn't have it.
It is even worse when the daughter is always telling her family everything that is happening in your house, and they start telling her what to do, which ends up affecting your home. This often ends badly between the couple, esp when the in-laws still intervene whenever there is an issue between them. No man likes to be controlled in his own home.
Those three things mentioned above are some of my deal breakers in a marriage, and I would never tolerate them. It is fine if it leads to divorce rather than to stay in a toxic relationship.
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The marriage institution is a school of its own, one has a lot to learn before entering. And when you finally decide to enter, you have to study your potential partner so you don't miss any red flags.
For me I think the best is walking by God's counsel. The same way you can ask God for a thing and he gives it to you. Sometimes people say you have to find the wife yourself, as said by Proverbs, but remember Abraham's servant found a wife for his master's son, Isaac, but he asked God for signs along the way and those signs guided him.
Doing anything for the wrong reasons would almost always have terrible consequences. This include marriage as well. So one has been to extra careful. There are people that met their untimely demise because of marrying the wrong person.
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Those are ideal marriage breakers that could destroy a marriage, but remember that if you can't tolerate it, then you shouldn't expect the other person to tolerate it as well.
Yeah right, it is vice versa, a man should also learn to respect his wife, not to cheat, and also there should be boundaries between his other families and his new home...
I agree with you.
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Cheating is indeed common in recent days but at least in my country most of the people choose to be loyal to their partner and here I have seen few cases only where partner getting divorced because of cheating. From this perspective I can expect to get a partner who will be loyal as it's true in most cases.
Yes all these you listed are good effort and fair reasons to cause divorce in the marriage which me I won't tolerate. Thanks for sharing and best of luck in all your endeavors