Going for Love or Money in Marriage?

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Our parents experienced a true kind of love in the past, they never had any challenges, like divorce or separation. Like my parents, they had what I termed as "Real Love" together and lived with each other for a long time before death took one of them which was my mother. During that time, they helped build themselves up, they were neither poor nor rich and I could see that love transcends till we grew up. My parents never fought even though there were times they argued on one or two things which is normal in marriages, but there was never a day one thought of divorce. Money wasn't their issue because they were working together to make sure the family was doing fine.

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With this for my parents, there are lots of parents who made love the center of their marriage while building themselves up with the responsibilities and affairs of the home and things were working smoothly for them. This is a dream of many young children then as they desired and wished for a partner like their mother or father who will take full care of them without going through separation or divorce.

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But today, things have taken a different route in marriage. There is no lasting marriage anymore even after taking that 'forever' vow on the altar where the pastor or imam had joined them together. At first, some people got married because of love, believing that as long as there was true love, everything would work out fine, but along the line, things fell apart because of lack of finances. It has now become a thing where a wife would start comparing her husband with another rich man and before you know it, everything has turned upside down, what they have built together for years came crashing down like a building with a weak foundation.

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In today's world, many people do not want to marry for love again because to them, love is an underrated word, but with money, things are going to work out well but the reality at the end of the day is that even the so called money you went in for a "Yes, I do" vow doesn't sustain a marriage. Many marriages have crashed today due to how people have gone into it with the mindset of love and money only to be the driving force of such a relationship. I must tell you that love and money cannot sustain a marriage. Yes, I believe love is sweet in marriage, and at the same time, money makes it sweeter but are those enough to keep it going?

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Even with love and money present in marriages today, there are still lots of factors to keep it going. Why do you think wealthy couples are going for a divorce at the end of the day? Of course, they have money and that shouldn't be an issue for them, you would say! But there are a lot of things to consider which supersede those two. For me, I wouldn't want to go into any marriage with just two ingredients; love and money but with the right component, because with those things available, we can have a fulfilling marriage life.

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There is a need for true and effective communication in marriage. This is like a backbone to every marriage out there. Without communicating effectively with each other, love and money cannot work it out. I have heard someone say that love and money aren't enough for her except the husband communicates well with her as the man seems not to give time for that. With communication, creating time for each other is important. There would be times when both partners need to sit down to iron things out, find the way out of issues and come to a concluding solution and not think that money is enough to keep it strong, likewise, love does not seem to work in that aspect.

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Another component is "Trust." There may be love and money available but when two partners do not trust each other, the marriage may crumble. Each partner must not allow any lapses when it comes to trusting each other as that alone is capable of destroying homes. Trust is so essential in marriages and that should be something partners must hold on to dearly.

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There is what we call understanding. Let's take note of this: communication without understanding does not work. Two persons can communicate together but when they do not understand themselves or come to be united, it makes the communication useless. Money can be an issue in marriage if there is no understanding between them, so also when there is love without understanding, that doesn't make any sense.

I would love to stop here for now as the list goes on, but one thing I wouldn't do is go into marriage with only the notion that love and money make marriage stand strong. Without the things I have mentioned above and other things that follow, a marriage cannot work. Even though it may work for a long time, believe me, there wouldn't be any enjoyment in it until one demands divorce or separation when they have reached the limit they can no longer endure.