There is spring, but there is no strength

Hi, my dear friends!

As I already wrote, depression finished me off and I decided to seek help from a doctor. Not too much fun, but unfortunately necessary.

It's been a week and a half since I started taking antidepressants and medications to reduce anxiety. I'm lucky to have almost no side effect from these medicines, as it often happens. I became a little calmer and I began to sleep better. If I used to wake up almost every hour, now it's only a couple of times a night. I hope it will be better next.

The most unpleasant thing in this whole story is that I constantly feel weak. I'd like to take care of my garden and my house, but I don't have the strength to do anything. Any attempt at physical activity ends with an attack of tachycardia. All this is very unpleasant. By nature, I am an active person who likes to do different things, but instead I have to sit and rest after a hundred meters walk.

Even just going out into the garden with a camera was a real feat for me. My cardiologist is also trying to find the cause of my condition. She wrote me a whole bunch of tests... I look at these papers and think: okay, it's all fine, but I just don't have the strength to do it all!

It must have turned out to be a not too fun post. But it's also part of my life. I usually try to write about something positive. But sometimes I'm overtaken by despair, too. I feel very lonely in this fight. Of course, my friends come and help me. But I really want to lead a more active life, to do more. I dream of traveling. I hope that the doctor will find the cause of my condition and we can improve it.