Some questions arise in life in such a way that there are no easy answers. And this question is exactly like that. If I were asked, if I could go back to the age of six, with all the experiences, education, and understanding I have now. Or if I could get twenty million dollars right now—which would you choose?
Hearing this question makes my heart tremble slightly. Closing my eyes for a moment opens the door to a strange time travel.
If I look back on my life, I have made many mistakes—sometimes I wasted time, sometimes I trusted the wrong people, and sometimes I took time to understand my own talent. I gave up on small things in school, but now I understand that if I had a little courage, I could have gone a long way. If I were the person I was then with today's head, then some things would have been completely different.
Just think about it—I have gone back to the age of six, with all the knowledge I have now. I understand what the class teacher is teaching at school. No one can cheat, and I know where to give time, where not to give time—everything. Bitcoin, YouTube, TikTok, the stock market—all the futures are open to me. If I wanted to, I could have planned my life long ago with this information.
But there is also a kind of fear at work here. Wouldn't I feel lonely when I go back to that age with the experiences of these adults? Knowing everything, I would have to carry a kind of burden without mixing with others. Again, despite having knowledge of the future, can life really be arranged properly? Can what has been lost once be regained just by knowing?
And then comes the second option—twenty million dollars.
Imagine, twenty million dollars has come into my hands right now. There is no more lack in the world. My parents no longer have to worry about medical treatment, I can build a house like my dream, I can travel around the world with my family. I can launch a new startup, or a small cafe, which I have been thinking about for a long time.
I know that such a large sum of money has ruined the lives of many. Many people cannot cope when they suddenly get so much. But if I am ready for it, if I know how to use that money, then it can be the greatest blessing of my life.
Still, sometimes I think, if I could just correct one mistake from the past… just one… wouldn’t I be a better person today?
This question is perhaps what draws me a little more towards the six-year-old option.
But to put it bluntly, the person I am today is a combination of my mistakes and good deeds. I love this me. That me may know everything, but this me has walked the path of that experience, learned through sweat and hardship. This feeling of learning cannot be bought with money or time—anything.
So now if these two options come before me, I may stop for a moment, think for a while, my heart will tremble, memories will come to my eyes. But in the end, I want to be this me.
Honestly, going back to age six with all my current knowledge sounds tempting -I'd avoid mistakes, maybe even invest early and "hack" life. But the truth is, I've grown through all those ups and downs. The person I am today came from real experience, not shortcuts. But I'm not planning to relive any of it. With $20 million dollars, I can change my life today -build my future, help my family, invest and finally breathe. The past can stay where it is
Thank you so much for your deep, honest and thoughtful comment.
Your words really touched my heart. Every mistake, every ups and downs in life have shaped us into the “I” we are today. We may all want to go back to that childhood and make everything right, but it is through real experiences, untold stories, pain and triumph – these are what make us truly human. The way you have valued today, wanting to use the opportunity of twenty million dollars to keep your family well, to build a future – this is undoubtedly a mature and visionary decision.