oh wow, the social norms lay heavy on japan's hearts huh? it's such a trip to read about it, but then it's very reminiscent of all the stupid automatics in behavior we have in the west.
i mean christians have been raised on the conviction to "be born sinners from the beginning", what did happen to the japanese? was it "just" the aftermath and reeducation after ww2?
i have a new japanese friend, i could ask actually. she left japan a few years ago and lives nearby here.
i also often find myself holding back, sometimes too much so. being nice this way often just means no ody is kearning anything, which is a damn shame actually.
i want to make a habit out of blowing people off in a more grandiose manner, travel life is actually perfect for it. constantly meeting new people and their clichees, it's ample opportunity to try stuff, roleplay and not give a rat's ass about other peoples fake idols.
but we all do. we care too much and tolerate the affronts on common sense everybody deems as "nornal"
when we can find a way to stay real to what we feel while also not being hung up about it, we'll be free!
I think a lot of cultural differences are actually universal forces that manifest differently. I was telling a student that in America the social pressure comes from loud voices who push and pull others around more and use language and social situations to dominate whereas in Japan a lot of the same forces are putting pressure on people but they don’t have to be spoken, they are all intuited through body language and social cues.
Japan isnt nearly as self-repressed as people think, its just more sensitive.
I think there is a confusion most people have between “not caring what others think” and “not being afraid what they think. The first ends up being reactionary and sometimes resentful, while the latter doesn’t actually require any kind of confrontation most of the time, it still allows space for finding common ground and keeping peace.
This is why I’m over most activism (unless it’s fucking fun, then I’m all for it). I want to make bridges and I can’t make a bridge with someone while I’m telling them they are part of the problem. Most people aren’t going to walk that bridge but if one does, it’s worth it to me.
I guess my focus now is on trying to make the best of every situation, always honoring my desires but also keeping others in mind, and getting better at telling them what I think without offending them.
Also it’s important to note that some people are just full of land mines and I will just avoid them completely if I can 😆
My takeaway was that (speaking about emotional maturity), I should have taken my leave during the one minute break between the two 40+ minute songs. I forced myself to be there though, because I like the guy who invited me and his wife and I wanted to please them. This was a good example for me to use with my student when talking about self love. I should have realized, the damage I was doing to my emotional state by staying there was more than the damage I'd do to our relationship by leaving.
Seee, that's also something I am often struggling with. Honestly, I am gonna say no for something that will do more damage to my energy after this. I learned my lesson too!
I also don’t think I can go to the church especially for the fact that there will be so many people there just to listen to music. I love the church though but I don’t go all the time…
Also, trying not to leave the church premises because you liked those people make sense and it shows you have got respect for them…
oh wow, the social norms lay heavy on japan's hearts huh? it's such a trip to read about it, but then it's very reminiscent of all the stupid automatics in behavior we have in the west.
i mean christians have been raised on the conviction to "be born sinners from the beginning", what did happen to the japanese? was it "just" the aftermath and reeducation after ww2?
i have a new japanese friend, i could ask actually. she left japan a few years ago and lives nearby here.
i also often find myself holding back, sometimes too much so. being nice this way often just means no ody is kearning anything, which is a damn shame actually.
i want to make a habit out of blowing people off in a more grandiose manner, travel life is actually perfect for it. constantly meeting new people and their clichees, it's ample opportunity to try stuff, roleplay and not give a rat's ass about other peoples fake idols.
but we all do. we care too much and tolerate the affronts on common sense everybody deems as "nornal"
when we can find a way to stay real to what we feel while also not being hung up about it, we'll be free!
I think a lot of cultural differences are actually universal forces that manifest differently. I was telling a student that in America the social pressure comes from loud voices who push and pull others around more and use language and social situations to dominate whereas in Japan a lot of the same forces are putting pressure on people but they don’t have to be spoken, they are all intuited through body language and social cues.
Japan isnt nearly as self-repressed as people think, its just more sensitive.
I think there is a confusion most people have between “not caring what others think” and “not being afraid what they think. The first ends up being reactionary and sometimes resentful, while the latter doesn’t actually require any kind of confrontation most of the time, it still allows space for finding common ground and keeping peace.
This is why I’m over most activism (unless it’s fucking fun, then I’m all for it). I want to make bridges and I can’t make a bridge with someone while I’m telling them they are part of the problem. Most people aren’t going to walk that bridge but if one does, it’s worth it to me.
I guess my focus now is on trying to make the best of every situation, always honoring my desires but also keeping others in mind, and getting better at telling them what I think without offending them.
Also it’s important to note that some people are just full of land mines and I will just avoid them completely if I can 😆
sounds rather balanced, the way you describe.
"not being afraid what others think" is the key and the distinction is a valuable observation.
fearless ≠ careless
Seee, that's also something I am often struggling with. Honestly, I am gonna say no for something that will do more damage to my energy after this. I learned my lesson too!
I also don’t think I can go to the church especially for the fact that there will be so many people there just to listen to music. I love the church though but I don’t go all the time…
Also, trying not to leave the church premises because you liked those people make sense and it shows you have got respect for them…