Being Transparent in a World of Fakery

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I grew up in a small Texas town where getting wasted was a regular pastime. I was never invited to these parties, and truth be told, I probably would have been miserable, anyway.

In college I went to a few parties but never enjoyed them.

Fast forward a few years, after I’d finished my MFA, was working at CPK (California Pizza Kitchen), and had no clue what I wanted to do with my life. Everything felt empty.

Then my co-worker at CPK invited me to Burning Man, which in turn became a gateway to the underground dance scene. This, naturally, involved lots of drugs. I started with psychedelics, then got into E, ketamine, and “research chemicals.” The more exotic, the better.

Something opened up within me. It was like I’d entered the kingdom of heaven and made contact with the divine! I was on a permanent high, in every sense of the word.

Alas, I got booted out of the kingdom.

Once again, my life felt rudderless. That’s when I turned to spirituality.

As a “newly enlightened” person (lol), I did not talk about my “shady” past. After all, drugs are not very “spiritual.”

Eventually, I started a blog centered around personal development called Generate Magic (the name remains).

At the time I was writing it, most days were not magical for me. But I maintained this front of being relentlessly optimistic and imperturbable, while saying very little of my struggles—partly because I knew the individuals involved might read my articles.

Eventually, I felt like a hypocrite and quit.

When I decided to start blogging again, I made a vow to myself that I would be as transparent as possible and not censor myself.

I discuss all this and more in Stefan's Love to Move podcast. Stefan is a fantastic interviewer. He really takes the time to go in-depth and doesn’t rush you or force you to condense everything into quick soundbites, which I appreciated!

I also love the name of the podcast, which is very much in line with my message that all movement, whether physical or energetic, can help you to break out of stagnation. You can watch the interview below.

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