The business of health and dying is a travesty of justice. I am so glad Tom had you by his side to advocate and help navigate him through the maze of expenses, equipment needs and paperwork. It is daunting beyond words.
And I'm so happy that Jeanie was able to transition at home. As it should be.
I KNOW you'll continue to be an amazing friend to Tom during the weeks and months ahead where the hole of her absence will feel deep enough to down him.
Make sure to be good to yourself you in this raw and vulnerable time.
Perhaps the hardest thing I have ever had to bear is the insane relentlessness of life after the death of my loved one. I wanted the world to stop and at least pause to mark his passing and let me catch my breath, but Life just laughed and continued on without a second thought. It's better here in Thailand where the whole village stops everything to be and sit and talk and drink and remember - usually for 3 or 5 or 7 whole days. There is such inhumanity in the way the western world does death.
I 100% agree. Hospice ended up being exactly what we wanted for Jeanie, but it requires a diagnosis stating there's likely only 6 or fewer months for the patient to live. Of course, there's no way for them to know this.
Now Tom just dropped $9000 just for the burial. It would have been double, but they bought their burial plots 30 years ago at way cheaper prices.
I myself won't be participating in the traditional burial methods used by most when it's my turn. Tom and Jean are also Catholic, so there's added traditions(mostly silly) with costs associated with them as well.
This broke my heart. If make a me so angry that we really have little control over out own lives and even less so with this ridiculous COVID situation.
I was speaking to my friend who is a care nurse at a hospice and they are told to treat all patients as COVID even though none have been tested. That means no visitors and full PPE. They are only allowed TWO visitors when they are literally abput to pass. She was crying as she told us about a dying woman with a husband and two kids .. 11 and 14.. who could only see two at once. How fucking ridiculous. I have never heard anything so cruel. But if the hospice break the rules they lose their funding.
Tom is lucky you are there helping. How beautiful their love is, so rare and precious. That road trip must have helped him somewhat in this difficult time.
So many people here lost their loved ones to Covid and weren't allowed to be there when they passed.
Tom did fully enjoy the trip. It was over 1200 miles and we made sure to take different roads in each direction. So it was a loop.
We received all the equipment needed to take care of her at home yesterday. An adjustable bed, a bed lift, other supplies and they are trusting us with morphine to make sure her pain can be controlled. Our living room is now set up like a hospital room, but it's where she belongs.
We encourage content about health & wellness - body, mind, soul and earth. We are an inclusive community with two basic rules: Proof of Heart (kindness prevails) & Proof of Brain (original content). Read more here.
Our website also rewards with its own Lotus token & we'd love you to join our community in Discord. Delegate to @naturalmedicine & be supported with upvotes, reblog, tips, writing inspiration challenges for a chance to win HIVE and more. Click here to join the #naturalmedicine curation trail!
This was so heart-breaking, but the love they share made it profoundly beautiful as well.
As you say, we do not know what's best, but it made me really happy she will be able to die in her home and with people who love her. I'm sure, or would like to be, that this would help Tom heal as well. You've done it the best way you could.
Thank you, we know the right decision is for her to be here with us.
I appreciate your heartfelt reply. It's hard on Tom mentally and physically, but she's worth it and his mind will be at ease when her suffering is over.
I'm sure this would be one of the most difficult things to experience in life... the way he loves her to the point of, basically, losing all of his money for her to be secure and comfortable. For her to feel taken care of. Reading that made me really emotional.
May I ask why are you with them?
Starting to read, I thought they were your parents or grandparents but then you mentioned you've met them for eleven years?
The short answer is that I moved from my home state 11 years ago and our paths crossed. Tom, Jean and I just clicked.
I ended up helping them a lot, they helped me back when I needed it and we grew close. I was like the son they wished they had and they were like the parents I wish I had. I'll be adding bits of the story throughout my articles.
To understand that better, here's my quite personal and more detailed Introduction I published on my alt account. It doesn't get into detail about meeting Tom and Jean, but will explain a bit about why they probably filled a void I had.
I understand it quite clearly now. It's good to know that, even with no blood-family, you still found each other. It's a bless to have people who care about us.
The business of health and dying is a travesty of justice. I am so glad Tom had you by his side to advocate and help navigate him through the maze of expenses, equipment needs and paperwork. It is daunting beyond words.
And I'm so happy that Jeanie was able to transition at home. As it should be.
I KNOW you'll continue to be an amazing friend to Tom during the weeks and months ahead where the hole of her absence will feel deep enough to down him.
Make sure to be good to yourself you in this raw and vulnerable time.
Thank you very much. I will do my best and Tom is a trooper.😀
Perhaps the hardest thing I have ever had to bear is the insane relentlessness of life after the death of my loved one. I wanted the world to stop and at least pause to mark his passing and let me catch my breath, but Life just laughed and continued on without a second thought. It's better here in Thailand where the whole village stops everything to be and sit and talk and drink and remember - usually for 3 or 5 or 7 whole days. There is such inhumanity in the way the western world does death.
I 100% agree. Hospice ended up being exactly what we wanted for Jeanie, but it requires a diagnosis stating there's likely only 6 or fewer months for the patient to live. Of course, there's no way for them to know this.
Now Tom just dropped $9000 just for the burial. It would have been double, but they bought their burial plots 30 years ago at way cheaper prices.
I myself won't be participating in the traditional burial methods used by most when it's my turn. Tom and Jean are also Catholic, so there's added traditions(mostly silly) with costs associated with them as well.
I'll be choosing when and how I die.
This broke my heart. If make a me so angry that we really have little control over out own lives and even less so with this ridiculous COVID situation.
I was speaking to my friend who is a care nurse at a hospice and they are told to treat all patients as COVID even though none have been tested. That means no visitors and full PPE. They are only allowed TWO visitors when they are literally abput to pass. She was crying as she told us about a dying woman with a husband and two kids .. 11 and 14.. who could only see two at once. How fucking ridiculous. I have never heard anything so cruel. But if the hospice break the rules they lose their funding.
Tom is lucky you are there helping. How beautiful their love is, so rare and precious. That road trip must have helped him somewhat in this difficult time.
So many people here lost their loved ones to Covid and weren't allowed to be there when they passed.
Tom did fully enjoy the trip. It was over 1200 miles and we made sure to take different roads in each direction. So it was a loop.
We received all the equipment needed to take care of her at home yesterday. An adjustable bed, a bed lift, other supplies and they are trusting us with morphine to make sure her pain can be controlled. Our living room is now set up like a hospital room, but it's where she belongs.
It's so lovely to hear she will die at home.. Xx
Hello @notconvinced, you've been curated for our Operation Positive Vibes{#hivevibes} by #naturalmedicine (curator~@notconvinced) - we'd love it if you joined our community here.
We encourage content about health & wellness - body, mind, soul and earth. We are an inclusive community with two basic rules: Proof of Heart (kindness prevails) & Proof of Brain (original content). Read more here.
Our website also rewards with its own Lotus token & we'd love you to join our community in Discord. Delegate to @naturalmedicine & be supported with upvotes, reblog, tips, writing inspiration challenges for a chance to win HIVE and more. Click here to join the #naturalmedicine curation trail!
This was so heart-breaking, but the love they share made it profoundly beautiful as well.
As you say, we do not know what's best, but it made me really happy she will be able to die in her home and with people who love her. I'm sure, or would like to be, that this would help Tom heal as well. You've done it the best way you could.
Thank you, we know the right decision is for her to be here with us.
I appreciate your heartfelt reply. It's hard on Tom mentally and physically, but she's worth it and his mind will be at ease when her suffering is over.
I'm sure this would be one of the most difficult things to experience in life... the way he loves her to the point of, basically, losing all of his money for her to be secure and comfortable. For her to feel taken care of. Reading that made me really emotional.
May I ask why are you with them?
Starting to read, I thought they were your parents or grandparents but then you mentioned you've met them for eleven years?
The short answer is that I moved from my home state 11 years ago and our paths crossed. Tom, Jean and I just clicked.
I ended up helping them a lot, they helped me back when I needed it and we grew close. I was like the son they wished they had and they were like the parents I wish I had. I'll be adding bits of the story throughout my articles.
To understand that better, here's my quite personal and more detailed Introduction I published on my alt account. It doesn't get into detail about meeting Tom and Jean, but will explain a bit about why they probably filled a void I had.
https://peakd.com/hive-181465/@solcycler/hello-hive-let-me-introduce-myself
Wow, coming back from reading it.
I understand it quite clearly now. It's good to know that, even with no blood-family, you still found each other. It's a bless to have people who care about us.
Yes it is, very much.😀