I completely relate.
Although I've struggled with much more in past, recently I've been much more productive than I've ever been, and yet that feeling of not doing enough can still creep up on me.. Its hard finding a balance between being productive i.e. Things that require more energy (mental or physical) and "fun" i.e. escapism (usually), things that require less energy.
I guess it's tough because it's a moving target... Some periods I'm much more productive, and find it much easier to 'get going', and other times, I just don't have the energy, and spend most of the day "wasting time"..
I saw a nice little vid recently, about a programmer who was struggling with the same problem. He got addicted to a phone click game, and was waisting most of his time on it. So he decided, to try and hack the game. During the experience, he learned new skills and by the end, he ruined the game for himself since he could now cheat, and he stopped playing.
But he said something very interesting that resonated with me.
When we do take the time to "have fun/be unproductive" it's important at least to enjoy it. To truly rest, shut off and relax, just being entertained can be healthy too. When I find myself watching crap, and feeling guilty while I'm doing it, it's the worst...
Best of luck with your efforts, and look forward to enjoying their fruits.
Very wise words at the end there!
It is easier I find to throw yourself into big projects but yr right.... one does need time off!
That's one advantage I've always found about being drunk then hungover... you can't do anything other than zone out!
What I'd like is a flexible mind - happy to focus om anything at a moment's notice and for however long it takes!
I've been idling in front of the snooker this afternoon - I have this theory snooker players must end up with the calmest minds - so much intense focus for so long.
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I feel the same way about professional Go players.
I think, in the eyes of the Dao, there should be no problem to enter a complete state of focus, and in an instant be able to shut it off, and have no thoughts invade your head space.
Seems down right impossible to me, but that's what I mean by gaining control of my mind,being able to use it for whatever o need whenever I need.
I myself am less of a boozer more a smoker (wacky tabacky), but the same blissful mindlessness comforts me in hours of mental over clocking..
Hope we both get some work done, so we can get some well deserved rest...
I've never played 'Go' you know, so couldn't comment!
Beer's always been my thing, I think that must be genetic TBH. Whatever clicks I guess.
I think I'm going to focus on resting, more than working in the future you know!