"Finding The Self"

Edited on Canva

Hello Hive Friends! It's been awhile since my last post. Today's blog is all about finding myself in this year of 2023.

Finding yourself is what they called a loophole of never-ending mystery. Yes? In my experiences. There are times that I am cheerful like the sun which swept the wary from the gloomy rainstorm after it poured. And there are also times I wake up, feeling unalive, blank, in the middle of nothingness.

Year of 2023, it was a blast new year for me perhaps. But then, as the joy of the Christmas and New Year solstice bid its farewell. I began to carry a new ache in my soul. Last month, January, have you ever noticed that I was inactive for a month? Due to the fact that in those times I feel alone. I am always alone, but to feel lonesome is the most swift killer you could ever encounter in your life. And it's hard for me because I am a person who finds solitary an escape place, a happiness of being peaceful with yourself, out of the noise of the outside world. But in the case of last month. I was deprived of loneliness.

Please do not pity me. I don't want others to feel that way towards me. I know every being in this world experiences this kind of phase of life, and there are times we don't seek pity from others or any comforting sweet words. What we want is to save our own self in this deja vu of madness. I know some people experience this stage of life, as I experienced it. Waking up being motivated to do things right and the next day, we feel there is no reason to do those things because we are now stuck in the soul sucking madness that our mind has been putting on us. That may lead to being lazy and not doing things, because of the what ifs and anxiety that our mind has telling us. AND THAT'S WHAT I AM BEEN GOING THROUGH THE MONTH OF JANUARY. A MONTH OF FINDING MYSELF. MY PURPOSE.

But what are the hopes that still keep myself to survive in a day from the shivering lonesome. I have a dream! DREAMS! Is what makes us strive even in our weakest point of our lives.

Look at these photos.

Flowers

Trees

The Vast Ocean

Creatures

They have purpose in this world… for what?

FLOWERS- The dancing hues of nature. Why are they called that? Because its purpose is to dance along with the wave, give the beings a performance to make their day more wonderful despite being tripped down by the succumb dancing dooms.
TREES- We all know that trees are the strongholds of nature. Their purpose is to give us fresh air and protect us from being drowned by the heavy storm crow of thundering rainstorms.
THE VAST OCEAN- The Ocean is the Land of the Sea beings, the ocean gives us the view of what vast beauty lies within this world. All we need to do is to open our eyes, and see how the ocean meets the sun and how the moon rises above from its ocean floor.
CREATURES- Creatures like cats—soften our hearts. Makes this world a desirable place. Their purpose is to give us a companion to some, give us insights of how dangerous they can be, yet a magnificent beauty of them being they are to be.

And what about us? The people, the wonders of this world. Is to dream and to make those dreams come true.

Like this Unfinished painting. Our minds wonder never-ending. We tend to write, paint, or speak it. In any ways of how we prefer to express it. My purpose of painting this is to experience silence under the sleeping sky. To feel the peace of living.

All this means, my friends, is to always find your purpose, and remind yourself daily, you have your hope clinging onto your dream. We may live in our sufferings, but always do find, remind, and keep dreaming. Find your purpose by questioning yourself, remind yourself of your goal/mission in this world, keep on dreaming as long as you are breathing. A slow progress is still progress, and to those who experience this kind of thing. Do keep continuing to survive! Choose to survive, do not let the dancing dooms defeat you. You have you. And you have this world, this life, keep it in care and protect it. They are precious, and so are you.

(due to privacy concern. i scratch out in the photo the face of my cousin. i asked for permission and she said no hahah, i still love her tho hahah lol)

For now, I am dealing with a slow process, and still keep continuing to survive. I am relieved of what I've been through, it made me strong. And I am happy to say this to all of you that I am slowly finding true happiness again.

Special thanks to @ayane-chan for introducing me in this world, guiding and helping and supporting us in the beginning of this venture. And also to my other home @hiveph, thank you for supporting me from the start. And to my fellow ph bloggers, keep on sharing your wonders and wanders as well. And to my other friends @blip-blop and pers thank you also for helping me as well. And lastly, thank you for the OCD/OCD teams and my hive friends for supporting me as well. Sending all of you hearts! hearts! sourdelights!