“What are your plans after college?”

“Are you going to enroll in graduate school or probably in medical school?”
“Where are you planning to work? Are you moving to Manila or are you just going to stay here in the province?”

I am currently in my senior year and I only have two semesters left. If I successfully defended my thesis and finished OJT I am finally done with my undergraduate degree. College graduation is all fun and games until you need to answer hundreds of frustrating questions. I have been bombarded with the said questions for quite some time now at every family gathering.

Graduating students can be classified into two groups: those who have concrete plans after graduation, and those who do not. I am part of the latter group. Either way, it will always feel like diving headfirst into the unknown. If you are afraid of the number of uncertainties that await you in the future, then you are not alone. Here, I’ve listed my fears after graduating college.

Failing The Board Exam

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Among the things that I've listed here, to be honest, this is my greatest fear. In my case, we have two licensure examinations: the chemist and the chemical technician licensure exam. Every year the passing rate for the chemist licensure exam is so low. This year, our school even got only a 32.35% passing rate. Because of this, I have second thoughts about taking the said exams. Call me a coward, but I am just scared to disappoint everyone around me. All my efforts may just be put to waste. I know my capabilities and my limits as a person and I am not sure. if I can handle such exams. It sucks to be me, I know.

Not Finding Happiness in My Chosen Career

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Before entering college, I had two choices: passion and practicality. I chose the latter. We are not a well-off family, so I settled with a course that has a lot of opportunities here and abroad over the things that I love to do. So, you could say that my current undergraduate degree is not my first choice. Maybe that’s the reason why I am struggling with coping up with the demands of this degree. Since this is the case, one of my fears is being unhappy with my chosen career. I wish not. Or if yes, I hope that through time, eventually, I will find the right path for me

Not Finding a Job Right Away

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Since I am the eldest daughter, and probably the future breadwinner of the family, I am already expected to have a job right after graduation. No matter if I passed the boards or not, finding a job is necessary for me. Being a “tambay” (a Filipino word for a jobless person) should not be in my vocabulary. I know every “panganay” (a Filipino term for firstborn child) can relate to me. But of course, the real world is not easy. With all the competitions and the standards that I need to meet, I am scared that I can’t find a job right away.

Budgeting My Expenses and Paying Bills

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I don’t know if I am responsible enough to budget my expenses. My mother is the best at budgeting and I didn’t even inherit her skills. Sometimes I even tend to overspend.

I am not responsible for paying the bills here in our house. For that reason, I have no idea how the payment works. When hearing the word "adulting", "bills" always come right after. I am not even good with people! Just thinking about budgeting my salary and paying bills, already frightens me. Well, adulting is indeed scary.

Finding New Friends

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I am a very “shy” person. I find it hard to approach people especially a stranger. I consider myself an introvert as I enjoy solitude more than being surrounded by people. But “no man is an island”, as the famous quote says. I just wish that someday, I’d meet a genuine friend with whom I can turn and support my decisions in life.

Being Away From My family

In my 20 years of existence here on earth, I have always been with my family. Since I was a baby up to now, I am living with them. I am so used to their presence as they are always part of my everyday cycle. But, the question is, can I even handle being far away from them? I know I’ll always search for their presence everywhere I go. From my mother’s everyday care, my father’s tasty dishes, and uncalled-for “good morning greetings” to my little sister’s unnecessary “hi’s” and annoying remarks. Just thinking about it now already makes me sorrowful.

Losing Friends

I have a small circle of friends because I believe in “quality over quantity”. But we all have different paths to take and it is inevitable to be apart. I know losing friends is normal. Some even say that if you’re not losing friends, you are not growing. I just wish that we’d still stick together even if we’re a million miles apart.

“The only constant in life is change.” - Heraclitus

Indeed, stepping out of your comfort zone is a difficult thing to do. Facing the fears of the unknown needs bravery and strength. Even if I am not yet ready for adulting duties, I have no choice but to conquer them.