This morning I was walking alone, thinking about life and how it switches gears like a rollercoaster, sometimes going up and then going down. It's sometimes more like a nightmare, difficult to believe your eyes, and you want to forget about it all, but you can't. This is like your biggest fantasy coming true. I came to a halt there, all these harsh ideas racing through my mind, I wanted to clear my mind, I took a long breath, and slowly resumed walking. At the moment, I felt as if I had been wandering alone for a long time, cut off from everyone and everything in my life.
Those types of emotions have a meaning, and once I understand them, I begin to explain myself. There are many misconceptions about life in the future. Life is going to be better in the future. There will be more diversity and freedom. That is only true if we let it happen. If people do not take proactive steps, then they are letting the reality become worse than it has been in the past. I was trying to innovate myself knowing that I went through a lot of things these days. I am now in a conflict situation which I need to overcome.
Something suddenly struck my unconscious mind: it was a bird, a small lovely bluebird dancing and singing right in front of my eyes. At first sight, I couldn't believe my eyes; it was a mysterious voice vibrating in my heart. I've never seen anything like this in my whole life. Once, I had the impression that the bird was attempting to communicate with me, either to warn me or to teach me the way to enlightenment. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes to focus, hoping that this time I might be able to interact with the bird. For God's sake, I had no idea what I was doing. I try to go closer to the bird, but it vanishes in an instant.
This had never happened before; normally, after finishing all of my work, I lay down on my bed and fell asleep. But I couldn't sleep for the last 2-3 days, and every time I wanted to sleep subconsciously, I saw something that woke me up. And this is giving me a headache. I consulted with a doctor and he told me to do some exercise, not sitting anywhere for a long time. I have been working all afternoon planting flower seeds in the garden and using a neighbor's wheelbarrow to haul all of the grass [root and all] that I have dug up to expand the garden. I have been driven inside by heavy rain and warnings of high wind and in some places a possible tornado! I am going to take a nap and I am a bit exhausted by hard labor and will try to do something productive afterwards.