Get Ready With Me and Bach: How To Dress the Soul (and Give the Naked a Chance)

All photos by the author, Deeann D. Mathews, on June 29, July 1, July 3, and July 4

The way you dress and move when you are trying to get things done without having even one more person try to pull energy from you that they don't intend to give back is quite different from how you dress and move when you finally feel full, free, and safe. Just how different did not occur to me until I entered this spring, and have had an increasing number of people noticing before I did: "Deeann ... I like those colors!"

When I bopped into Love on Haight on a day that suggested I already belonged there (without the psychedelic drugs EVER or the money YET), that was when it hit me: I have indeed entered a different place in my life.

But then again, I also have been prioritizing the colors of my world ...

... and it is summer now ... why should I not look like what I have chosen, in all its beauty and energy?

I have entered what Web 2 calls my "glow up" era, and since I am the late-blooming, clean-living, nature-loving, German-speaking, music-loving San Franciscan flower child that I am, better late than never to a summer of love, that is why I have applied the nickname Frau Blumenkind -- German for flower child -- to myself!

Thus it is also time for Bach on his extravagantly beautiful side, on an extraordinarily extravagant instrument ... what do you do when offered a choice between Bach's beloved clavichord and organ in your Blumenkind era? Say YES to both, of course!

Yes, the claviorganum is a clavichord and a chest organ connected to the same keyboard so you get the best of BOTH at the same time, in this transcription of a piece of music in which Bach, spiritually, was in the mind of putting on his Sunday best and going to the highest service possible with his big family physical, communal, and spiritual ...

"Schmücke dich, o liebe Seele," means 'adorn or decorate you[rself], O loved soul' ... and although Bach lived long before anyone spoke of loving one's self as a thing, if you only read the title and stopped, you might pick up that sometimes you have to do what you have to do to encourage yourself ... which is why retail therapy and "soft life" and even retreats into nature are a thing for the self in the face of a toxic, ravening world. And of course, this is an instrumental performance, so if you understand German (I knew the word schmücke because I encountered it in studying Peter Cornelius's translation of King Phillip's Aria from Don Carlo into German, and thus could read the whole line), you would be forgiven for thinking: take care of your own soul, and give it what it needs.

HOWEVER, most transcriptions of Bach come from his many cantatas that were for Lutheran church services, and when Bach is in this stunning, golden state of joy, it is worth understanding just how that happened. Bach lost a wife and TEN CHILDREN in his 65 years of life, and sometimes you can hear that in his music ... there are people who only know Bach in that mood ... but then when you encounter his joy, it is worth thinking of how he still had moments like this. For what, on the inside, did Bach put on his celebration clothes?

As it happens, this particular cantata is written for the highest and holiest and most sacred of all Christian celebrations: communion. It has -- as we should expect, given the time in history -- nothing to do with loving the self. It has to do with God loving mankind so much that He gave His Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for mankind's sins so that anyone who believes might be forgiven and brought into God's redeemed human family -- see John 3:16 for the reference -- and with those who believe coming together in fellowship in grateful love toward God and family love toward each other.

The word communion is the parent of community, and the latter is the state of being in the former: together unified. Fellowship is actually close to the same idea: in old times, people brought together in the same guild or order were fellows. Now German is kind enough to dispense with two words when one does fine -- gemeinschaft stands for communion and community alike -- but retains specificity enough to describe what Bach was getting his soul ready for by saying what would have been said in English in his time to make sure there would be no mistake: holy communion, or, helige Kommunion.

But then again, assuming Christian fellowship at its highest -- or even going back to just the title and assuming again for the moment that you are just getting your own soul ready for the next big thing, just how do you dress a soul up, anyhow? What in the world is Bach talking about, anyhow?

Again, more study needed ... Bach was devout, so he would have known what is not apparent to everyone. "Get Ready With Me" or #grwm is a whole Web 2 phenonemenon, and you see people taking off some things to put on what they intend to actually wear ... so then we can look at the categories Bach himself would have had in mind on a Sunday morning, since he knew where the actual instructions were in the Gospels and Epistles:

1. Put off all pride and malice that is your side of any lingering quarrel: forgive and ask forgiveness where needed, and settle all matters righteously so far as you are able.
2. Put off all idea that you are in competition with your brothers and sisters for anything, and be prepared to help those in need so they are not in a state of desperation
3. Put off all that will not have you of clear and sober mind
4. Put on remembering what God in Christ has done for you, and not you alone, but everyone in community with you for all eternity
5. Put on gratitude for the gift of eternal life purchased in the shedding of Christ's blood, and for the fellowship of all those likewise believing and saved, in every century, in every tribe and nation.
6. Prepare, in the absence of all worldly distractions, in holy sharing with all your sisters and brothers, for a renewed and deepened experience of God's love in Christ, and your union with Him.

Bach might also have remembered that he was born not long after the religious wars that had raged in Germany for a century, and also that war in Europe was never that far removed ... he might also have had gratitude that he and his family might worship as Lutherans in peace!

But also, this was Bach ... Bach who had to have the flow of creativity constantly going so he and his family could eat ... Bach who could not stop for long to grieve ... Bach who transmuted his agony into some of the most devastatingly beautiful music ever written, so we know how he felt ... this was Bach, who had to find power above what he in his humanity could have done just to keep going ... and found that he was never alone, and that the God he loved would meet him everywhere he was, no matter how deep and desperate the need. This piece of music is of a joy of one who, sitting in his home, knew what it was to have infinite love and the height of finite gratitude to meet right where he was, and to adorn his soul for that, as a way of life.

But if one follows this path, what does one do with those who only get dressed for four hours a week? We would know that in a physical sense, such a person might be in a pitiable state ... ill, depressed, critically exhausted ... and in a world in which many Christians do not seem Christ-like at all, that is the spiritual equivalent.

And even GENERALLY, even back at the level of feeding one's own soul with deep rest and beauty, most people in the society I live in are so caught up between working and Web 2 that they too are behaving like those that are emotionally, mentally, and spiritually starving ... and yet Bach writes music like one who knows what it is to be filled with love and gratitude, free to live as such in spite of changing circumstances, and safe. That is his gift to the world as much as anything else -- we hear what it is like to know what he knows, and feel what he feels.

BUT THEN, what happens when THIS is the situation you were born into --

It is one thing to grow up in a destroyed community and it be expected that you return to form. I am a German. My people's musical legacy is praised and practiced around the world. It is an entirely different thing to grow up in a destroyed community in a nation that expects and supports no better, and which therefore spent about 340 years denying the full humanity of your people -- the legacy is that you are what you are not expected to be, Frau Mathews. ... There is just not as much support available for you from the portion of the world system you live in, and not even within your community.

-- but you glow up anyway? Even without the support others take for granted, what happens when you glow up anyway -- and what happens when the people around you begin to notice the external signs, and find that unless they are also in the same process of adorning their souls and making commensurate journeys and meetings, there is no bridge?

And then, what happens when the fellowship of the glow-up starts to happen, and you can't print any invitations for those not adorned and ready? Bonus points if they know that once upon a time, you tried to get them there, but that time is over -- no invitation, no bridge, and only that old map they STILL think is too much to do, too big of a sacrifice, too hard a path even though they see your results!

The main answer is the hardest to reach: realize people's reactions are none of your business in most cases, and keep on authentically walking. Climbing past dependency on other people's opinions is a hard climb, but worth it and necessary.

Yet there are special cases, as I was warned by an older Black woman colleague: some men are deeply invested in attempts at long-term entanglement of women like us, and when those types get the shock of knowing that they have both failed *and been replaced by the men they fear THE MOST, they bear careful observation and security measures, because all that resentment has to find a focus, and often, it is the nearest woman.

We shall call him Hubert, for his hubris ... deep bass voice, sweet words, big promises ... building connections for how they could benefit him, trying to hold it together to shore himself up and look good while not doing good ... never knowing that while he slow-walked those he could to maintain control, I kept watching and building until the day came that he brought someone in who saw what was going on and not only TOOK OVER, but looked over what I was doing and said, "Let me get done for you what should have BEEN DONE a year ago!" And of course, this individual just happened to be a youngish, handsome, internationally connected European ... the WORST NIGHTMARE of bigoted local men like Hubert ... came and did in ONE WEEK what Hubert did not get done in FIFTY-TWO weeks ...

We shall also roll into Hubert my employer of a decade ago who also wanted SO BADLY to be an international power-playing man, but whose hubris would not let him nourish the future international communicator within me who he knew could and would outrun him ...

... and then, for the sake of dealing with him in effigy in Q-Inspired, we shall hand him a higher version of what upset one half of his character: I was in love at that time with the gentleman I dreamed of last week, and loyal! So, that half of Hubert could not manipulate me on that side ... so here we shall have him reading in the news of me blooming in another San Francisco summer of love ...

... adorned as befit my Blumenkind era, in my chosen element ...

... and seen in the arms of an unknown European bass of such physical prowess and such confidence in the world that he was unashamed to be seen singing while carrying his love all the way to her home, whose glorious voice and appearance and manner put him and her in the news to be wondered after!

Now, no matter how I move in the world, six days a week, the one place where anyone can go to find me on Sunday, year in and year out, is my church. ... and because my church family, too, has been attending to adorning our lives properly, the fellowship of the glowup is in full effect! This phenomenon, alone, destroys the sadly common idea that whoever it is one envies is the reason one does not succeed in life ... the oppression that one does to one's self in the combination of envying and blaming someone else not even worried about you is among the worst of all. For Hubert resembles the men of my church to all physical appearances, but as my pastor has preached several times, hubris will have you out here on indecent exposure, spiritually.

So, already dismayed at the evidence upon getting the vibe, he then arrived on children's choir Sunday of all days -- so there I was at the piano for the service, running 6.5 octaves on the piano because of the deep bass I play, singing with the children as the church went up in rejoicing, just before my pastor preached about how everything we do is for God's honor, not for the exaltation of any mortal to pretend at rule over others ... oh, this was a hard thing for Hubert to sit through, and sadly, his resentment simply grew and grew ... all that light of love, joy, faith, and purpose, and none struck his heart, for there was nothing there that would give him that place with me, and in life itself, that he wanted!

And then, after all that, Hubert failed to look around and see that there was another visitor who had quietly come in. He was remembered from his last visit in April 2023 fondly but quietly because he was slightly late ... strategically late ... a basso profundo who loved a comedic basso buffo situation, but don't forget ... just because he played Osmin and Ochs and even Hunding to the basso buffo side does not take away from his fiery Fiesco and Monterone and Commendatore ... fathers who had no problem rolling up to and beyond the point of death on men who hurt their daughters! He was in that mood, for he had been to costuming to show up as Hubert's worst nightmare.

In mortal life he had already been big and tall and athletic, but he had opted for the upper end of the afterlife option on "six-foot-forever-and-half" and a build like a retired athlete who still enjoyed working out in late middle age with the younger athletes he mentored. Then there was his suit ... made-to-order of course, after the finest European manner, black as night, punctuated by tastefully positioned jewels of the first order, like those of the Milky Way ... in other words, he had manifested his appearance of wealth out of his voice, quiet on the occasion, but fathomless to the average mind in depth ...

Strikingly above six feet tall, above six-figure money, with a six-pack build, and European for a bonus -- thus the Ghost of Musical Greatness Past arrived and settled down right behind Hubert ... and enjoyed himself, merrily clapping on the two and the four, merrily singing along with my deep bass on the piano, and listening reverently to the sermon. Hubert would not have known what to think had he seen how successfully his "rival" had busked in the park that week to raise an offering for the church -- but it was only visible to me because I was in the choir loft, and was quickly concealed in an envelope from other eyes, for he had nothing to prove ... and then I thought, neither did I.

Hubert was not thrilled to have to join a kind of queue to even get to me ... children, parents, church officials .. meanwhile, Deacon Fitch spotted his friend ...

"I thought there was a bass echo in here -- welcome back, Kurt my bass brother from another mother!" the deacon cried, and the two men smiled and embraced and chatted and also started booming and bouncing merrily in my general direction!

Hubert looked like a man upon whom the walls were slowly closing in ... no matter what he thought he might have said, the best he could do was, "I guess you are doing all right here."

I smiled gently.

"God is good, Hubert, and has been more than good to me. I have no complaints."

That I could smile and be so contented in his face ... now he could have just said he was happy for me and excused himself and saved said face, but no ... he let the two basses behind him overtake him.

"We've got a new visitor here -- must be a friend of Sis. Mathews -- welcome, brother!" Deacon Fitch and reached out his hand for a handshake.

"Oh yes, Deacon, and Herr Moll, this is Mr. Hubert Avarice," I said, "one of my formative business associates."

Hubert looked back from Deacon Fitch-- who was tall if not overly big -- to me in surprise that I had introduced him in terms of what he had indeed taught me, and honored him for what he had done well -- formative, not former. That gave him that extra second to not see his supposed European rival until he did.

"Oh, you're out here on a business trip and just decided to drop in to visit, Bro. Avarice -- that's so wonderful -- let me get you a visitor's card -- hey, Sis. McAllister, let me get some of those cards!"

The good deacon went to talk to Sis. McAllister, leaving Hubert between me and his literal worst nightmare. I pitied him, for I knew what was happening to him. I knew that his massive ego was a protective layer for his deep insecurity, and that he was being triggered to the deepest level to see me under the protection of the type of man who was both his idol and his bane. Now of course he was mistaking the object lesson for the actual reality: it was no power of earth that had delivered and avenged me ... but that was going to be explained. Hubert was not unlike a businessman version of Don Giovanni, using up people to prop up his reputation ... so on had come Commendatore in his Sunday best!

Never, ever shake hands with Commendatore if you do not have your life together! Hubert knew ... but like Don Giovanni, he had to keep up appearances ... though he wanted to cut and run, there were too many people looking, including me ... his ego would not let him escape ... so he took the extended hand, and the drama pretty much played out again...

"I know that you are here because you have heard about me, Mr. Avarice. I am here because I and those above me likewise have heard about you. You ought to have considered how much you have lost already, toying with the dedication and loyalty of Frau Mathews. But you thought you might take more from this woman, that you might put her down again to lift yourself up -- but if you did not understand all that has happened to you before now, be most solemnly warned: the Hand that protects and avenges her is strong."

He was not speaking of himself -- you figure in a church setting the allusion would be clear, given all the things that Hubert had been through that no mortal could have set up for him -- but, just in case an earth-bound explanation was the only type Hubert could understand, the grip of Hubert's interlocutor buckled Hubert's knees in its strength while the voice went right on with no strain at all.

"Frau Mathews even today has covered your transgressions, employing a soft answer to turn away wrath, introducing you to Deacon Fitch and me as befits a woman who acts in love and seeks peace, and desires that there be no further pain for anyone. She has adorned her soul in the grace and mercy that has saved her from wrath and judgment, and has extended it over you for this occasion. I solemnly warn you: reject that grace and mercy at your immediate and also eternal peril!"

The grip was dropped -- and Hubert was shocked to see his hand was still intact -- still unharmed, despite the intensity of the experience. He then looked at me -- a face of earnest concern, because this was a bigger matter than just how I felt about him. When he looked at his supposed rival, he saw the exact same expression. The only person unadorned for this place and time, naked and ashamed in his pettiness and insecurity, was him.

But unlike the opera Don Giovanni, in which the end is known, Hubert's fate was there hidden from me even as that of the two real people he is drawn from is likewise not confirmed to me ... there, at his moment of decision, the curtain closed and for a moment I was in darkness.

"For you must neither be given false hope nor have your heart broken in vain, Frau Mathews, over what we cannot know. Sufficient unto the day is the lesson thereof -- nur ruhe."

So I opened my eyes to this scene of tranquil beauty ...

... and there rested for a good while before the lesson of the day continued.

"In some of the old catechisms, if my memory serves me, a great paradox is divulged that Bach would have known of ... how can one be called into the presence of the One Who dwells in light so bright that no man may approach? With study, the paradox is explained: those who are called, and who have adorned themselves as commanded, may live and walk in that light. In a general sense, as an artist and businessperson, you also have attained in a similar way now. So there is a real sense in which most of those who used to trouble you cannot, simply because they cannot endure the presence of the light they refuse, but is surrounding you.

"But if at any time they choose not to refuse, then, Frau Mathews, the deep desire of your heart will likewise be answered in every field: not revenge, but redemption! The most excellent way of love is beautiful...

"... and how lovely you are, adorned in the beauty to which you have been called!"

Now that was a different way of thinking of beauty...

"And to those who care for nothing but the avarice of this world, it will not be seen for what it is," he said. "Yet you are seen, Frau Mathews, and the day will come that you will know as you are known ... even now, you see all around you how what you call 'the fellowship of the glowup' is expanding. In art, and in business ... you are being seen and invited upward, Frau Mathews, in ways in accord with your calling ... and next week by this time ... ."

I quivered suddenly from nerves, and he wrapped his arm and his voice around me ... I tell you, that black velvet anesthesia is powerful ...

"We shall not speak of it now," he said, "but I knew, back in the winter, that I must begin to say to you abide as you are called, for the halcyon of winter was so warm and sweet around you that I knew ... O, mein geliebtes Blumenkind ... my beloved flower child ... I knew you could not be denied this blooming time! But you need not be afraid, Frau Mathews, for since you now know how to abide as you are called, it is with all purpose that you heard from Father Bach this week!

"Get ready, Frau Mathews ... take up faith, and hope, and between them is courage ... love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness, meekness, and self-control ... and with them, gratitude ... and go continue to go forth, dressed for all the blessing that shall come in the way you have been called, and have chosen to abide. Schmücke dich, o liebe Seele! -- adorn yourself, O loved soul!"

"But can we talk about this part?" I said. "I would not care if you were my height or thereabouts, and I've never counted any man's money like that! I love a bass voice, but I have not discriminated, and since I'm improving my physical condition I have no quarrel with a man also still in the process! I loved my grand old soldier not because he was over six feet tall, trim fit, and quite well off -- I didn't know that last part at first -- but he was generous and kind and loving to me with all that he chose to share -- he brought me to his own places of peace, and taught me to walk in them!"

"To me, this need not be explained," my companion said gently, "but any man not inwardly adorned in a way commensurate to you lives a life of constant comparison with other men for externals, seeking their approval, fearing their disapproval, and making every decision based on that fear of man.

"I have no use," I said, "for a coward."

"Oh, I heard that, Frau Contralto Profundo -- that was a B flat 2!" he said, and rolled laughing. "No cowards in your band -- they are running for their lives!

"But hear me, my contralto daughter in music: it is not your deep voice or brilliant intellect or constant ability to convert your consistency into opportunity. None of those are 'masculine' in the sense that you are true competition for a man ... those are the activities of being human at a mature level, unhindered by the fear of man. It is not that you intimidate any man -- the idea is preposterous -- it is that you are not intimidated by the fear of man, and so you are free from men's control, a freedom most men do not themselves know.

"Was it not Germany's own Martin Luther who said that if you fear God, you need not fear man?" I said.

He smiled.

"Rare are those, anywhere, who hear both Martin Luther and Martin Luther King Jr., and realize they are actually saying the same thing in that respect. Everything of freedom my people have, and yours, comes from that understanding, although applied in different ways at different times.

"But this is the offense of you, Frau Mathews ... your freedom reminds others that they not only are not free, but are choosing bondage for what they think it will get them ... while you seem to be ascending almost effortlessly now ... and with your international set of associates ... in essence, Frau Mathews, I am standing in for what actually is increasingly going on in the prosperity around you."

"Yes, but I'm still doing the local things -- I don't discriminate!"

"Frau Mathews, color is not localization. I know you are an African American, and I know how this country lies to you -- I know about Jim Crow, redlining and other forms of housing discrimination, and all the rest -- but I know you know the great Jessye Norman got her real start in Germany, and I know you know what you are doing on Hive. Besides that: how many people have the reputation and the skill to trade the value of a course --

" -- for a TV spot on five channels?"

"Um ..." I said.

"Your voice is beautiful as you vocalize, Frau Mathews," he purred, "and you might as well hum a tune because you already know the answer! No, you do not discriminate, but you have a choice! You are an African American, and you are a woman, and you are not rich, and yet you have what men who live for externals think only the money and background they cannot get can give them. Your choices are giving you choices those not abiding cannot reach and those not adorned cannot enter. Since the spring I have been saying to you: there is no bridge. This is also what I mean."

"But also, Frau Mathews, you also see now that those also abiding and adorned as you are, without regard to all externals, will see you, and you and they will walk on to what is before all of you. You are alone relative to those not prepared ... and that was a necessary separation ... for you could not come bringing those not adorned correctly. Now you know."

"Now, I know," I said, and sighed ... sadness at first, but then a great sense of relief, and thus relieved, I was ready to begin the long walk homeward.

My companion, back to his well-known and sufficiently impressive height and girth as we walked, chuckled.

"Since you don't need all that extra to enjoy my company on a walk, Frau Mathews, I returned all my accessories to Costuming!'

"I'm not going to even ask, because that 'how?' has to fall under 'eye hath not seen, nor ear heard,' nor is it likely lawful for you to even explain on this earth," I said.

"Correct!" he said, and rolled laughing. "But you have no such nightmares that you should have to be even menaced with the threat of the knowledge ... no, Frau Mathews, that is not for you."

He adjusted our route slightly, through a broad and glorious meadow I had not seen before, and there we stopped for what would be another pleasant hour.

"For you, adorned and abiding, all that may be seen and heard of blessing will meet you as you climb to meet it, and in that fact, on your way to your eternal home, you may indeed safely rest."