From telegraphs to morse code, telephones to radio, satellites to internet, cordless phones to pagers, mobile phones and instant messaging to smart phones and tablets and finally to social media, we have witnessed and experienced the breakthroughs of technological forms of communication.
It seems that with each new generation of advancements we as a society get farther and farther away from good ole’ genuine old school communication.
It’s no mystery that I’m old school which is the reason I chose to represent this post with a corded landline phone rather than a cell.
Let me tell you a true story:
One day a woman called a member of her family to chat with them. The family member was a bit taken back by the phone call. Instead of saying “oh wow, it’s so good to hear from you” the family member responded with these words
You know most people do text these days instead of calling. It’s easier that way since we’re all so busy.
🫢🥺😒
The woman was a bit hurt and frustrated by the comment. She felt if she wanted to call one of her loved ones instead of texting her life away she should be able to do that. She couldn’t believe the response she received.
Has it really gotten this bad where people are bothered by a phone call?
I believe when social distancing took place it brought on a whole new level of broken communication.
I hear people complaining that their family hardly visits and now on top of that we have become this text messaging only society.
What prompted me to write this post was a reaction of my own that I had recently when a friend called me. This friend usually sends me messages but out of the blue one weekend they actually gave me a call. You know what I said quietly out loud?
What? She’s calling me? 😯
Like there was something wrong with that.
I was so mad at myself for even saying that and thinking it was shocking or something. Yes, there are still people out there that would like to have a real conversation and hear your voice rather than playing the typing indicator wait game.
My husband has been challenging me for awhile now to stop texting and just pick up the phone and call people. You know us ladies like to talk and sometimes we go deep, getting our emotions out so we can deal with them. We also like to share details so we tend to type longer than men.
I will literally sit there and type out a three paragraph message instead of calling someone. I’ve gotten into that way of thinking that people don’t want to be bothered with a call, or so and so might be too busy or what if I’m calling at a bad time.
That’s why there’s an option to answer or not 😅.
If someone is too busy or doesn’t want to be bothered then hopefully they won’t pick up the phone. If they do, don’t get mad at me because you chose to answer 🤷🏽♀️😆.
I was also inspired by a close friend of mine who NEVER rarely texts back. She even admits she’s horrible when it comes to replying and getting back with folks. If you text her don’t expect a response for up to a week lol. No lie, it’s that bad 🤭.
She calls me now pretty much on a regular basis. Recently I started calling her instead of texting. Not only because I know I probably won’t hear back from her that same week but also because she’s rubbing off on me. She has inspired me to get back to calling people again.
People are lonely out there. Times are so hard and different now that one call could make someone’s day. It could possibly be the first step to helping someone out of their depression.
I know that text messaging along with so many other innovations has made our lives much easier and convenient but sometimes going back to the basics is not such a bad idea. @Riverflows recently talked about something similar when she shared she missed those days when the internet wasn’t able to be in our pockets and travel with us all day.
Our faces are so glued to technology that we don’t even have time to look up to have a good conversation anymore. We don’t care to hear a person’s voice when we can just quickly message them and be done with it.
Our communication has sadly lost its value.
What was once done on a regular basis has dwindled away and we have settled for a watered down version, a lazier option and a system that creates loneliness and feelings of rejection. 🙁
Don’t get me wrong, I love texting and sending emojis and gifs. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing that we have this option but it’s sad when it’s the only thing some people prefer now. It’s sad that an actual phone call is becoming extinct.
When’s the last time you actually gave someone a ring? Maybe there is someone hoping to hear your voice soon and not just reading from you. I challenge you to make a call this week. ❤️
Omg, Dad rang three times the other day and I had the phone on silent. He chastised me and I got annoyed. Dad, I said, why don't you text like a normal person? 😜🤔🤣😕
Don't worry, I'm picking up the phone to call him now 🤣
I think it's because we are all just darn busy! A phonecall takes an emotional investment, longer than a text, and you have to hope they aren't busy on the other end. Dad rings and expects me to be available, but he's retired and I'm working and doing a hundred projects. But when he dies, man I'm going to miss those calls.
I even won't delete his voicemails, just in case.
Hahaha oh my goodness I bet as you were reading this post you giggled. Ah, he got annoyed with you. My mom gets frustrated with me if I don't call her back after 3 voicemails 😬😄.
This is so true, it takes a lot more effort than a text message.
I think it has a lot to do with generations too. The older generations are more irritated with the technology advancements and would rather keep it old school. With people being so much more busy now it’s hard to really take the time to answer calls. I know that we won’t be able to answer every time we get one but we can try a bit harder to make more time when we can. Or we can be the ones calling when we do have a few extra minutes to spare.
I’m glad you called your dad 😊. You do that too? I have several voice messages saved from my parents 🥰.
I do. I cant imagine the sound of his voice disappearing from the world..
I know what you mean. I feel the same way about my parents. 🥹🥰
I kinda feel bad as I read this as well cause I realize that I'm like that. The friend that you can't expect to text back in like a week. I know that people are caught up with everything in their lives so I assume that they know it's the same with me. And I carry the mentality that "they know I care for them. I just don't have to text back everyday, let alone call."
But I'm realising more and more each day the need to maintain relationships with the people we hold dear to us. I may put in a few calls this evening. So, thanks for this dear Crosheille.💜
I think it's unrealistic for people to expect someone to text or call them everyday. I know people like that, they put pressure on someone and make them feel bad for not answering every time they call. We won't be able to take on every call or even text but we can just do our best to answer back to people when we can in a timely manner.
Yes, exactly! It's really important for us to have better communication to maintain and hold dear those relationships that are important to us. That extra effort and time investment in a phone call is worth it.
I'm glad I could encourage you to make a few calls ~ 😊
Ciao @crosheille ! Many thanks for this great post! Yes, it can be complex, our reasons for not phoning!
I loved having a landline when I first bought my Italian home, BUT was inundated daily with calls from a telephone company that I wasn't with. It drove me potty. Because I had a lot of media attention in my first years here, all the calls I got were folks wanting something from me. I eventually cut it off.
My phone is a similar issue: Italy has zero controls over privacy on phones (or anywhere else, it sometimes feels!), and the 'presumption of the right to trespass' is strong. I have maximum controls on my phone, and do not use Google, so do not retain a list of contacts. I use Signal App for close friends and family, and pretty much ignore any other calls. No-one else should have my number, and if they do, I do not consent to being phoned and interrupting the magic of my day and especially my creative work. If I am awake, I am working creatively: there are few that I would allow to interrupt this precious alignment.
I did a lot of research into private phones in Italy, and it seems you literally cannot get one, but ultimately, I don't really need a phone, as I use the App for most calls: I way prefer voice messaging (I don't use texting much, neither do friends): I share lengthy conversations with a select group of around 20 friends, around the world, and we are able to speak to all subjects, off-load, talk about our fears and challenges. It is definitely a different way of being than when phones were a staple in a house, and I miss that clear line and connection of the landline!! But it is much more suitable for me to receive a call when I am not e.g. painting, sewing a difficult piece of fabric, plastering a wall or cementing a floor, down in the garden (I rarely take my phone out of the house), or out for shopping... My life is one filled with working with my hands, and having to interrupt my work for a call is not an option!
Great conversation!!
Thank you so much for adding your input.
My parents still have a landline and they are constantly ignoring calls for marketing and scammers. It gets irritating to them as well but they don’t want to get rid of their line. They even try to tell them to take them off their call list but of course the calls keep coming in from different companies.
That stinks about the privacy factor. It’s sad that they make people not even want a phone because they go overboard.
I am very familiar with the Signal App as I have used it before. My husband learned about it and loved it because it was private and no one could trace your info. Recently he heard about some changes with it and felt it wasn’t fully private anymore.
I think it’s great that you choose to live your day as you like and not allow certain interruptions that will throw off your creative schedule. I also think it’s great that you’ve found a more convenient way to conversate with your friends. I just think it’s so important we get back to these real conversations and really get back to building relationships and loving on one another. We need connection not separation. Sadly, the way the world is going we seem to be getting farther and farther away from each other.
Thanks again for joining the conversation ~ 💖
Part of it is generational too I think; and tho I am olden enough to have grown up pre-internet and cell phone texting, my neurospicy self prefers it most of the time (some of us communicate better in the written word rather than in speaking). But talking is sometimes a nice change, especially if it's a friend.
That being said, it always makes me wonder when people are so concerned about calling or texting at a bad time, because as you said, you can just not answer. People will often not call or text at night for fear of waking someone up, and for myself, I sleep like the dead and it won't wake me, but for the light sleepers, why don't they put their phones on silent at night? Like, if you know that's a problem for you, you can do that - your pal or your auntie probably doesn't know. You can even set it to automatically change at certain times. People then say, what if there's an emergency? But what are the odds: is it more likely that everyone in your life knows that you nod off at 9pm and will avoid calling you or that there is a random emergency that you absolutely need to deal with at 3 am? I mean, as I said, I could sleep through the apocalypse and I'm not going to turn UP my phone every night just in case there's an emergency. Plus if you don't live alone, someone else in your home probably has a phone they can try too. But I digress!
!LUV
I really loved reading your response. You mentioned some other things that have crossed my mind as well.
I think you’re right about it being generational. The woman I spoke of in my post (the one that was frustrated with that response she got) came from a time when a phone call was all there was. All this new technology she is still getting used to and could care less about people preferring a text message lol. I think the older generations are thinking “what in the world is happening here.”
I definitely understand about some being more comfortable with speaking through written word. Honestly if things are hard to say on a phone call I opt for texting instead 🤷🏽♀️.
Hahaha yes! I laugh when someone texts me in the morning and says “so sorry if I woke you up with my call last night.” I’m like, when I go to sleep my phone is off or on silent. We do have some people in our family that tries to make us feel bad for silencing our phones. It’s for the very same reason you mentioned…it could be an emergency and we miss it. I can’t live my life glued to my phone because I might miss something.
There was one point in my life where I used to be a deep sleeper like you but after having kids I wake up with a drop of a feather now 😐😄.
Thanks for joining the convo, I enjoyed your input ~
Yeah, sometimes my mom signs text messages, like "Hey do you want to do xyz love Mom"
and I'm like, Mom, I know it's you! LOL. But she's signing it like an email or a letter.
Yeah, I'm always like, oh, text or call me whenever, I won't hear it if I'm asleep, and I might not see it when I'm awake either because I don't keep my phone in my pocket. It lives on my desk, or the endtable, or the counter, or wherever I've set it down last. I just check it periodically. I am not 911, I am not on call, I am not glued to the thing. That always seems to surprise people who can't put it down.
Years ago, when I had like, proto-smartphones (TMobile Sidekicks, those ones with keyboards underneath the screen you would slide out of the way), I realized it was becoming a problem to have the internet in my pocket, so when the last proto-smartphone broke, I actually downgraded on purpose because I had to break the habit. I kept a simple phone as the rest of the world was getting addicted to smartphones and only caved and got one when it got to the point where you can't do certain things anymore without one, like coupons at the grocery store. That did successfully break the habit for me, and now I am one of those people who will leave my phone untouched for hours. The battery lasts for days.
Hahaha that's so cute and hilarious all in the same. They grew up in the pen pal days so they like writing letters ☺️.
That was so smart of you to break yourself from that. We shouldn’t be so glued to our phones. I admit it is a relief when I turn mine off at night. I don’t like being bogged down with constant notifications and most times I feel the need to have to answer to them. I’ve been practicing leaving my phone in a different room and not worrying about it. If I miss a call I’ll return it when I can.
Oh my,this is a wonderful piece to reflect on. I call my mum phone over the phone every single day. Maybe that's because she is not on any social media platform. If she was, maybe I would have just be sending WhatsApp messages.
I use to have a friend whom I barely talked to. We use to text only on social media. After some days of not texting, I found out he had died. All the while we were texting, he was battling with a disease.
Thank you for this article. Indeed we need to go back to the drawing board.
I hope people out there see this piece and come back to this realization. Social media has eaten deep into our communication lives.
That is so good that you speak with your mom by phone every day. My mom is the same way, not on social platforms. She does do the texting but not as often which is great because it causes us to talk more.
Oh wow. So sorry to hear about your friend passing. Yes, we really need to revisit the old ways of communication that helped us stay connected in a more meaningful way.
Thanks for reading and commenting ~
I am 💯 guilty of this most especially on instant messaging Apps. I find it hard to call this days... It is well!
You're not alone. It’s especially hard to make calls when the trend of messaging is so prevalent amongst us.
Thanks for chiming in ~
Thank you ma'am
100% agreed! Not only is the actual phone call becoming extinct, but human interaction in all ways is falling by the wayside. It is truly sad. Think I'll go call my brother!
Yes so very true. Human interaction is definitely on a decline. It breaks my heart how things are now.
Oh good for you!! I hope you two have a wonderful time chatting! ☺️🥰
I have same mentality and that's why I do not call people twice nowadays. Just one try and you miss my call, then I will assume that you are busy and shouldn't be bothered
I use to be a good caller but not anymore
I am guilty of this too
Text taking over the real communication we should have with people...one downside of this great technology advancement..lol
Last week, my mum called me on the phone and said "NKEM, what's going on with you lately, you haven't called me for the past one week, this is unlike you my daughter"
I was broken by that word....do you know what? I had wanted her to be active on watsapp for easy text but she is yet to be active there... honestly, I feel bad now reading this... guilty I am 😂
I am returning back to my old method of communication...I feel more connected with people through that means and that's how it should be. Friends or family can express themselves better through voice
Thank you so much moma for bringing this up
I got value as usual 😇👍🥰
I do the same, never call twice but only once.
Exactly! We gotta get back to genuine conversations. It’s so hard trying to figure out how someone is really feeling or reacting to what we’re texting. Yea, emojis can only go so far but I’d like to hear in someone’s voice how they are really doing.
Wow, I can imagine why you felt broken when she said that. Especially since you used to be really good at calling people.
I’m really glad to hear you are going back to the basics.
Yes and yes to this! 👆🏽
Oh absolutely. It’s been on my heart and mind for some time now so I figured why not put it here in this community to start a discussion and maybe even inspire people to start making calls again 😊.
Thanks for reading ~ 💖
Happy Sunday to you @crosheille
It's my 2 years hive anniversary. Remember you promised to be here to celebrate with me 🤗...I am expecting your warm wishes and words of encouragement. It will assist me in this journey you know 😍
Thanks in anticipation
Hello my dear! Yes of course! Thank you so much for letting me know. I'm heading over there now ~ 🤗😘
Awwwwww 🥰🥰
Thank you ma'am ❤️
Absolutely ~ 🥰
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Es cierto lo que usted dice al punto, que mis minutos en mi renta mensual quedan casi intactos mientras los datos de internet los gasto casi en unos pocos días ..recurro al WiFi, muy poco llamó solo WhatsApp e Instagram.