School Bullying and Discomfort at the Parent-Teacher Meeting / いじめ問題と保護者会での違和感

（日本語は後半にあります）

【English】

Today, there was a parent-teacher meeting at the elementary school. Originally, it was supposed to be a session where each homeroom teacher would reflect on the past year and discuss the upcoming graduation and transition to junior high school.

However, yesterday, a message came through the school's communication app. It stated that bullying had been discovered among the sixth graders, and as a result, the school principal wanted to explain the situation and discuss measures to prevent recurrence. Because of this, the venue for the parent-teacher meeting was changed from individual classrooms to the gymnasium.

With graduation just around the corner, I imagine the teachers would have preferred not to hold such a meeting. However, I do appreciate that they chose not to hide the issue and openly discussed it. That being said, there were many aspects of the meeting that left me feeling uneasy, so I would like to write about them here.

First, they began by stating that, out of educational consideration, the names of both the perpetrators and the victim would not be disclosed, and that we should refrain from speculating. They emphasized that this meeting was solely meant as a call for preventing recurrence, and that all necessary steps—interviews with those involved, notification of parents, and an apology from the perpetrators to the victim—had already been taken.

There was also a moment when all the attending teachers stood up and collectively said, "We sincerely apologize." But I couldn't bear to watch them bow their heads and instinctively looked away. I felt sorry for the teachers, and at the same time, I couldn't understand who was apologizing to whom and for what. It left me feeling very uncomfortable.

Next, they gave a rough explanation of the bullying incident. When the victim was passing by a park, the perpetrators, who were playing inside, started shouting insults directly at them, such as "Gross" and "Die." Over a period of time, during sports practice, the perpetrators repeatedly conspired to use the victim as a target, kicking balls at them all at once. Then, one day, a ball actually hit the victim. The information was fragmented, and I couldn't help but feel that this was only a small part of the bullying.

Then, they went on to say that anyone could become a perpetrator or a victim, and that even those who witnessed the bullying and did nothing were also perpetrators. This part of the discussion made me feel the most unsettled. 🤮

For one, I hated the way they talked about bullying as if it were just something that "happens." If they were truly serious about preventing it from happening again, they should have treated this case as an "abnormal situation." Conspiring as a group to target a single child and throw balls at them is not something just anyone would do.

Additionally, the statement that "those who stood by and did nothing are also perpetrators" didn't sit well with me. I'm not trying to defend bystanders, but isn't a bystander just that—a bystander? A perpetrator is a perpetrator. The way they created an atmosphere of "We're all at fault, so let's all reflect together" was unsettling. Perhaps my discomfort with the teachers' apology at the beginning also stemmed from this.

Personally, I believe the names of the perpetrators should be made public. That would be the most effective way to prevent recurrence. They should be made to regret their actions thoroughly, to understand that the disadvantages of bullying far outweigh any perceived benefits. That, more than anything, would serve as the strongest deterrent.

Of course, if I were to say such a thing, I’d probably be seen as an extreme parent, so I won't. I know that some of what I’ve written here is driven by anger, and I apologize if it offends anyone. But today's parent-teacher meeting left me feeling so unsettled that I couldn't stay silent about it.

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【Japanese】

今日は小学校の保護者会がありました。元々は、1年間の振り返りと卒業・進学に向けて各学級担任から話がある予定でした。

ところが、昨日になって学校から連絡アプリ経由でメッセージが入りました。この度6年生においていじめが発覚したため、学校長から説明と再発防止に向けた話をしたい、そのため保護者会の会場を各教室から体育館へ変更します、というものでした。

卒業間近のこのタイミングで、先生たちもできればこんな会は開きたくなかったと思いますが、隠さずに話をしてくれたことには感謝したいと思います。ただ、その内容にはとてもモヤモヤするところが多かったのでここに書かせてください。

まず初めに、教育的配慮から加害児童と被害児童の名前は明かしません、詮索もやめてください、今回の会はあくまで再発防止に向けた呼びかけであり、関係者からの聞き取り、保護者への連絡、加害児童から被害児童への謝罪は全て済んでいるから・・・との話がありました。

そして、出席していた教員一同が起立して「申し訳ございませんでした」と謝罪する場面がありました。が、私は頭を下げる先生たちを見ていられず、思わず目を逸らしてしまいました。先生たちが気の毒でもありましたし、一体誰が誰に対して、何について謝罪しているのかわからず、気持ち悪さを覚えました。

続けて、いじめの内容についてざっくりとした説明がありました。被害児童が公園の横を通りかかった際、公園内で遊んでいた加害児童たちが、「きもい、死ね」などと次々に罵声を浴びせた。スポーツの練習中に加害児童たちが共謀して、被害児童を的にして一斉にボールを蹴ってぶつけようとした。そのようなことが続き、後日実際に蹴ったボールが当たってしまうこともあった・・・など。情報は断片的で、これはいじめのごく一部なのではという気がしました。

そして誰もが加害者になりうる、被害者にもなりうる、その場で見ていて何もしなかった人も加害者です、などといった話があったのですが、その辺の話が一番ゾワゾワしました🤮

何というか、いじめを「よくあること」のように話している点がまず嫌でした。本当に再発防止を願うならこの件をもっと「異常事態」として扱って欲しかったです。一人の児童に対して複数人で共謀してボールをぶつけるなんて、誰もがしうることではないと思うので・・・

また、「その場で見ていて何もしなかった人も加害者」という言い方もモヤモヤしました。傍観者を庇うわけではありませんが、傍観者は傍観者、加害者は加害者では？そうやって、「みんな悪いから、みんなで反省しようね」みたいな空気が気持ち悪いんだよなと。冒頭の先生たちの謝罪に対する違和感も、そこから来ていたのかもしれません。

私は、加害児童の名前を公表すれば良いと思っています。再発防止にはそれが一番効くはずだと。徹底的に後悔させて、誰かをいじめることはメリットよりデメリットのほうが遥かに大きいことを思い知らせるのが、一番の抑止力になるのではないでしょうか。

そんなことを言ったらヤバい親だと思われるでしょうから、言えませんが。怒りに任せて書いている部分もあり、不快に思われた方がいたらごめんなさい。ですが、今日の保護者会には違和感がひどく、書かずにはいられませんでした。。。

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