I asked myself that question when I realized time flies and it has been a few years since I live nomadically. However there is definitely a difference between living it in another country vs in my own home country/at least where it says on my passport. These differences are intensified more lately when I started to realize that I can live anywhere without having to go back to my home country. I am much more comfortable having an adventure than I was in the past when I used to have so much anxiety and was afraid of many things. Now that I've seen things and life, my survival skill sort of improved and so are my anxiety. However, one thing that still remains is my overthinking.

Thailand is the first country I visited after the pandemic. It's the country where I was going and following my heart. It's time to see someone I've always been wanted to see for a long time. While at the same time, I was planning to see a friend in Malaysia but after arriving in Thailand I was in doubt whether to see that friend and the fact that Malaysia experience was sort of nightmare-ish to me with the bed bugs and everything, I decided to scrap the plan. Then, I found myself staying more in Thailand but to reach that decision, I needed a lot of convincing and eventually was convinced that it could have been the best decision I made in my life. Well, the fact that I am still here, made friends and getting to know the culture, It was indeed the best time of my life.

But you know what, no matter where you go your problem that you try to escape is also coming with you. I can speak candidly about it that it doesn't matter if I am in the arctic, my family would still bother me. They would guilt trip me by saying that I shouldn't live this life, this constant moving and away from them. It's funny how that works because in the past, they did not really care where I was. I could be in Singapore, Malaysia and Bali, they didn't really care about it but now it seems like they sort of care about my location and that they keep trying to guilt me thinking that I shouldn't live like this. But now that I am here, I tried to stop overthinking about it and just go where the life takes me.

I slowly let go of my overthinking and when I did,life seems a little less scary than it actually is. It's comforting to know that though things may have not been going well but overthinking is also the worst thing that could happen especially when you're in a foreign country.

_{illustration via unsplash}