The title was pretty romantic but romance was probably the last thing that came in my mind while thinking about these thoughts. Yesterday our usual school-to-home friend stayed and decided to be with us. After our classes ended, if we have little free time to spare, we usually just walk and eat street food to kill our time. Well for me it's not killing time because it's rather a time that I touch some grass and be with other people other than family. So back to her, it's not really a special day or something that she decided to stay and spend time with us, but the reason behind it is related to something sinister—a murder case in their locality.
After killing his wife and two children in their own house, the murderer was still on the loose that afternoon. The place where the murderer lived in the same baranggay as our friend, so she's really afraid to go home because she never knew if bad luck would come to her and she'd meet that man on her way home. She decided to just wait for her mother's job shift to finish and they'll just go home together. Thankfully before evening came, the murderer was caught with both his knees shot to prevent him from escaping. Escape...why was he even thinking of that? Is he really that devoid of conscience to the point that he still has the guts to escape after what he had done to his family? I can't really understand people like that. I guess the spirit of drugs did take that away long ago before he decided to kill them cold-bloodedly.
It's a really grim way to end a relationship, I mean where did his love for them go? They had three children and one fortunately survived because he went to school that morning. I think they couldn't have children without feeling any love for each other at all. I know that at some point in their lives, they felt it, but where did it all go now? Does it crumble in the face of difficulties and misunderstandings? Or was that even love at all? No one knows what truly happened between them... or how did they turn out that way. Speculations after speculations piled up, but for me, none of them mattered.
I really pity the child who survived because despite escaping that cruel fate, he can't escape the reality of losing his mother and siblings forever and also the fact that it is his father who ended their lives. I don't know but this somehow made me doubtful and somehow fearful of other people. I mean how could I believe those sweet words they'd say if I knew that one day they could potentially turn against me when things get worse... I know I'm probably overthinking, but I can't just help but think about these things.
I know I'm not a person who'll get fooled easily because I don't trust people easily, but the thing is... what if I met someone that I thought would cherish me for better or worse, but it turns out I'm just one of the passing and irrelevant people in his/her life? That's even scarier than death. I rather live alone and enjoy my peace than end that way because it's really scary to invest my feelings in someone who will be my destruction someday. Lucky for my parents because they find each other, but what if I end up with that kind of man? That's really terrifying... really terrifying or am I just a coward who's afraid of risking?
Gosh, it's been just a week since I turned 20 and now my mind is overthinking like this. So that's my random talks for this day. Tragedies and grim stuff get my mind really riled up, so pardon me if I took some minutes of your life with my yapping (if you're not able to reach this part, good for you because you've saved yourself from my overthinking hahaha). That's it! Thanks for being with me 'til the end.
See you in my next overthinking moments, and I'm sure it won't be long...
The pictures that were used were taken by yours truly, ridgette and were edited in Canva.