I sit with my anger,
Raised by my own expectations.
When will I learn,
to just let, others be,
To set them free.
I seemed to fall,
into this flow,
This meandering path of mine,
It leads me astray at times,
Overtaken, I become,
Flooded with emotions,
Frustrations,
Dragged through the depths of my suffering,
Until I face who I am.
As a mother, it's hard not to get triggered by your kids actions sometimes. I'm watching my girls grow, witnessing them becoming the person they are meant to be. Which of course involves a lot of trail and error. A lot if boundaries being pushed. Deep breathing helps. Oh but it's tough sometimes. Especially when you are in your own, with no one to back you up.
It"s come at a time, when I'm beginning to feel a bit burnt out. I really need to take better care of myself. I've been so busy, that I let a lot of my self care slip. Then I get triggered and my reaction is bigger, more over the top. Because I feel less supported.
I really need to improve my sleep, so that when I wake up, I feel rested and start my day, with the right amount of energy. Lately I've struggled to get up for work. So in the end, everything is rushed and I don't end up giving my body any nourishment. I at least should be making a drinking my chaga drink. Especially as I have run out of reishi. My body really needs at least one adaptogen.
It's simple really, I know what I need to do and yet I struggle to do it. I need more fruit as well. I always rush off without grabbing any and then when I get home, my girls have ate most of the fruit. Which is great for them, but not so much for me.
Then, because my sleep and diet have not been so good, my mood begins to dip. My usually happy go lucky self, is more irritable and judgemental. Especially with myself and my girls unfortunately. Living in a truck, really makes all that more intense sometimes. When all I want is some privacy and space, to rest. But it's just not an option.
It's not easy, juggling work, parenting, homeschooling, life, self care, all on my own. It would be nice to have a pillar sometimes. To have a companion, but I'm so busy, where would I find the time. When I already struggle, with trying to fit everything in. I guess I would need to prioritise.
I took these photos walking home today, the clouds sitting on the mountains, as I sat with my anger.
You're right, taking care of yourself is essential to better manage situations and have the energy you need for your daughters. Improving your sleep and diet is an important first step.
It's difficult to advise you on what to do. But I have some perspective on the situation since I don't live it. So as far as sleep is concerned, I've noticed that when the temperature in my bedroom is 14°C, I sleep really really well.
As for food, I sometimes practice batch cooking. This allows me to prepare dishes for the whole week. I do that on Sundays.
It's rare that I do it now. I used to do it when I was studying. Now that I'm freelance, I work from home and that takes a lot of the commute out of my day.
Temperature definitely plays a part in good sleep. I really struggle in the summers here, unless I go to bed in wet clothes.
Thanks @genesisledger xxx
I am sorry but I am laughing 🤣..
I can relate with this one.
My son is keeping me up.
But all the troubles and issues is part of the package.
I take this as blessings and move on with whatever is left of my day.
☮️❤️
Yeah, it certainly does come with the package xx
Indeed it’s challenging doing all of these things - how did people do it in the past? It seems like it’s straight forward yet it also seems like it’s so complicated. I hope you can get some extra sleep so that you can get the day off right with a little bit of food and lunch so the rest of the day goes in the right direction!
It really shouldn't be complicated, I think. There are too many distractions now and I still need to improve my self care.
Things were simply back in the day xxx
I am glad you have this figured out, because it sounds complicated and difficult.
I agree that self care is a very important compnent of success in keeping your energy levels up to deal with lifes ups and downs.
I know when I work to much, sleep to little and eat to little I am not myself.
We have a popular candy bar here called Snickers, whose TV Commercial shows people being very angry when they are hungry, and puts costumes on them like a Lion or Bear. The commercial message is your not yourself when your hungry, you are instead like a hungry lion or bear, but if you eat the candy bar you turn back into a happy human.
I thought of that commercial while reading your post, and then thought of myself.
Where ever we live we are all humans, and with similar problems.
We must take care of ourselves, so we can be the best version of ourselves.
:)
I can get very irritable when I am hungry and also if I eat shit food. I try to eat well, but being super busy, it's hard to keep on top of that. I don't have a freezer so can't cook ahead. I will find a way. Thank you @shortsegments xx