In general, what we want does not always suit us.
I think this is especially true now, as rather than "know thy self" and making decisions tailored to who we discover, we make decisions on what the group thinks is good, on trends. We used to do this more for clothes, now fashion is a political vote or social movement.
everything is vanity.
Indeed - but there is the "selfish" that benefits oneself, and the "selfish" that benefits oneself and others. The ego prefers the former.
I will tell you an anecdote from the conversation I once had with my father when I was a teenager. He told me, Javier in the world, first you, second you and always you ... When he died in 2011 I was 44 years old, he was veiled in his house, he seemed to be asleep behind the glass of the coffin, the funeral was crowded with visibly affected people.
Over time I had a conversation with my mother, she commented, your father on more than one occasion preferred to stop eating, giving up his food to help others, he enjoyed helping others. A strange form of egoism that of my father. Maybe I did not understand him well as a young man, with his example he taught me that you should be the first, the second and the last to help your neighbor (World)
That's the kind of selfish I aspire to be from now on.
My father was much the same - died recently with nothing - but he had done plenty for the world around him. He was egotistical in the fact that he enjoyed helping others - so he selfishly did what he loved.
Interesting. Very similar people in this particular type of egoism raised under other circumstances and from distant but contemporary places. Perhaps features of a generation that passing the baton to us in the endurance race of life.
I think experience affects heavily, and older generations were exposed to some quite difficult circumstances. Some became bitter, others flourished after. Most of the resent generations (in the west at least) think hardship is getting teased on social media -it is relative to experience.