“However, traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves”.
― Bessel A. van der Kolk
Survival mode activated. Connection mode deactivated.
We make sure to always stay at a distance. It’s the pathological dance of “take one step forward and I’ll take two backwards.”
Because we won’t give anyone the power to let us down ever again.
We push people away before they do. That’s what I call mastering the art of self sabotage. Our need for control is obsessive because we remember too well how much it hurts when someone takes full control of us. Our heart is locked in a bunker deeper than rock bottom. Ain’t nobody touching it. Worse is that sometime during our trauma, we lost the ability to access it ourselves.
We don’t regulate our emotions because we pretend that we don’t have any. No need to try me honey - nothing can get to me anyway. Or through me, shall I say? Don’t touch my heart with your warms hands - I want it to stay as cold as ice. We have too much to lose to dare put ourselves in a vulnerable position ever again. Consequently, we miss out on the magic that can come out of human connections.
Can’t help ourselves. Our nervous system is constantly there to remind us that connection equates risk and that risk equates danger. And unfortunately for us, that's the kind of danger that feels like death.
I miss your face ;0)
awwwww ! Same! What a lovely surprise :)
Check your email address;)
Let's bring some positivism into this, as I feel you need it. I think you are safe in here, if someone picks on you or tries to go to your vulnerability, you can easily mute that person and never hear about it again. :)
And another advantage, we can choose to which person to communicate to and it might be a better defense mechanism than a hard ice shell.
Of course we all have our personalities, which might or might not differ from the one behind the keyboard, but in the end, let's enjoy the time in here and make the most of it.
Btw, did you install your ledger? :)