How Art Saved My Life (and Can Save Yours Too)

Screen Shot 2018-04-06 at 9.58.19 AM.png

"When things go wrong, this is what you do. Make good art."
Neil Gaiman

I've always loved this quote. On more than one occasion, I've had the feeling that I wouldn't have made it if it wasn't for art in my life. Too many things going wrong. Growing up with too many struggles, too many separations, too much trauma. Perhaps you know what I mean.

So, this being my first post here on Steemit, I've decided to talk about art, which is something very dear to my heart. But not drawing and painting just yet (that will come later, for those interested in tips and techniques). What I'd like to talk about here is that thing that makes art possible in our lives. And that's where most people get it wrong.

Cause it's not talent.

It's a vow.

Let me explain.

My father always wanted to be a musician, to play the piano but never got to do it. Once he told me about the time when he told my grandfather he wanted to be a musician. He was 6. And my grandfather told him that "pianos are for faggots!", and that he should "forget this nonsense and toughen up". He never got to play it. Instead, he became an engineer. Nothing wrong with that, except for the fact that it was not his calling. But worst of all, he did toughen up. And that's when the artist inside of him started to die. And now he's really dead.

So, let me say this straight because I too have tried to follow this dreadful advice. And it almost killed the artist inside of me too. And perhaps I would also be dead by now.

Drawing, painting or playing an instrument are just the visible part of art. On the inside, there's something else going on: a battle between remaining sensitive vs. hardening up. On one side, the world says "toughen up". Or the other, our hearts need to sing and dance and remain open, soft, and not just beat, bang and clock in mindlessly.

And even though my father tried hard to teach me this lesson, to toughen up, I failed. And even though I've tried really, really hard - and it was the most miserable time of my life - I failed. And I wish he'd failed at it too. Because if you really learn it, live it day in and day out, and start to believe in it, it will kill you too. Either slowly - of boredom, lack of connection, loneliness, depression - or with one quick blow. Either way, the price is just too high.

Wolf 1 mounted.jpg

I know what you're thinking.

Sometimes life is just hard, and we must endure the storm. It's true. But that's precisely the reason why we must regain our softness, remain malleable. Reset. Cause other storms will come. And if we've become hard, we'll just break. Or we'll be carrying storms inside of us wherever we go. And that's just not the way.

So, what's the solution?

Don't keep any storm inside of you. Let it out by going in. Feel it. Whatever is there to be felt, feel it. That's the only way it'll leave your system.

And even if you need to use certain masks when you're out there, in the world, that's ok. But please take them out when you're by yourself. That's the true art of life. Of being with ourselves, soft, naked, without masks. And it all begins with honoring our feelings.

That's the prerequisite to art. And that's the vow I was talking about.

Since my father's death, I've made this vow. To honor my feelings. Everyday. Moment by moment. To give space to my heart. I've cried many, many times. And I've discovered that there's lightness on the other side of sadness. There's joy. There's peace. There's art. And there's renewed strength. And I wish I could show him that. Help him find it too.

But this is not something I can give you. Only you can.

So please, give yourself this gift. Make this vow now. To never abandon your heart, your sensitivity. To never turn your back on your feelings. That's the first step towards any kind of art.

And remember this: there's no substitute for feeling our feelings. Feeling is the evidence of healing. And healing is the greatest of all arts. The one that turns any activity, even the most mundane, into art that will make you fly.

Hawk mounted.jpg

That's what Neil Gaiman was talking about, and that's what I've been doing. Feeling a lot, remembering my father a lot, spending time with my own kids, laughing, crying, playing, loving. And healing.

And, of course, drawing and painting a lot. Mostly animals. Mother Nature.
That's what I'll be posting in here mostly. My paintings and my journey - of healing, art, Nature and reconnecting with myself.

And perhaps you will find yourself down the same path too.

J.P.

Sort:  

This post has been resteemed from MSP3K courtesy of @juliakponsford from the Minnow Support Project ( @minnowsupport ).

Bots Information:

Join the P.A.L. Discord | Check out MSPSteem | Listen to MSP-Waves

Welcome to Steem Community @animalartclub! As a gentle reminder, please keep your master password safe. The best practise is to use your private posting key to login to Steemit when posting; and the private active key for wallet related transactions.

In the New Steemians project, we help new members of steem by education and resteeeming their articles. Get your articles resteemed too for maximum exposure. You can learn more about it here: https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@gaman/new-steemians-project-launch

Great introductory post! Thanks for sharing. I found you through the PayitForward contest. You were featured by @psionic-tremors. Congratulations and best wishes going forward.


Welcome to Steemit @animalartclub!

I wish you much success and hope you find Steemit to be as rewarding and informative as I have.

Here are some links you might find useful.
Your stats on SteemNow
Your stats on SteemWorld
Your stats on SteemD
How to use Minnow Booster
How does Steemit actually work?

Introbot is hosted and managed with donations from @byColeman to help make your journey on Steemit be truly rewarding. Your feedback is always welcome so that we may improve this welcome message.
Oh yea, I have upvoted you and followed you. Many blessings from @introbot & @bycoleman

On one side, the world says "toughen up". Or the other, our hearts need to sing and dance and remain open, soft, and not just beat, bang and clock in mindlessly.

Yes, yes, YES. This is so vital. I have struggled with this myself, struggled with the urge to protect myself by cutting out feeling and connections, and it just crushes you if you succeed at cutting ties to your own emotions.

Thank you for a thoughtful post on this important topic!

Thanks for the encouragement, Tessara. This is a very important topic indeed! :D

Even though I've been an artist for most of my life, it's only recently that I've learned how to take care of my own heart (by putting it first in line to be taken care of).

The amazing thing is that all my other relationships started becoming more harmonious without any active effort from me.

It may be cliched, but I think there's truth to the saying that you cannot fully love another until you love yourself. In this case, you cannot honor the feelings and full humanity of another until you honor your own!


Welcome to Steem @animalartclub.

Do read A thumb rule for steemit minnows - 50:100:200:25 for starter tips.

Spend time reading Steem Blue Paper to know how Steem blockchain works and if you still have any queries ask them on our Ask me anything about Steemit post and we will try to answer that.

All the Best!!!

Thank you for such a delightful post. I first went to art therapy 10 years ago. I was having trouble with writer's block and needed to explore how to soften those roadblocks I was putting up in the way of my own expression.

It turns out even art therapy isn't about art. I knew that even before I walked through the door. This was all about attending to the space that precedes art, and about priming the pump. It was just about the best thing I ever did. I felt that 7 year old me unroll like a scroll.

Now, though, I would like to make it about making art. I would like to learn how to paint, if only my chronically ill body will be allowed to do so. I wish to be well enough to return to sculpting clay again. It has been a pleasure to explore and play in these spaces. It opened up such a rich seam of creativity in me I only wish everyone could experience :)

I'm impressed by your writing and the wisdom within. Everything is about struggling between these two worlds. I'm glad you found your way.

Thanks for the kind words @patschwork. I'm glad too. It's pretty much a Universal thing - this inner journey - for us hoomans after all :)

Welcome to steemit @animalartclub ! I love the message you are sending out with this post. I choose your post to feature it in a contest where you have to write about steemians that are thought to publish interesting posts. If you are interested to read about it check my blog - the latest entry about the 'Pay It Forward Curation Contest'. I hope to see more from you in the future ....happy steeming! :)

thanks so much @psionic-tremors, I really appreciate it!

First Welcome @animalartclub! This is a wonderful story and it really hit home for me. And your art is unbelievable. You have true talents in art, writing, and photography (if you are taking these pics too) You are providing great content! Keep up the great work!

thanks for the encouragement @iexplore. I'm just doing the best I can with things I really love doing. There's so much noise calling for our attention all the time, so I guess I've started seeing things in the right perspective after all.

P.S. And about your question, I love photography, but I'm also a Photoshop instructor, so I can't take the credit for the quality :D

Welcome, and nicely done @animalartclub! This post brought me to tears. I needed to read this badly. Life is a struggle. And people are capable of hurting us. But to remain vulnerable after it all... That is true strength.

Namaste <3

thanks a lot @narashi. Everything you've said is true - about life being many times a struggle, and we sometimes being hurt by others (and hurting also, even if by mistake).

So what's the catch is?

These things are not at the center of life. Self-love is.

If a goddess awakened as a human being and looked at herself in the mirror for the first time, what would she say to herself?

Namaste _/_ <3

Hi, welcome to Steemit. You have shared some nice pictures. Looks like very artistic. Hope your journey to blockchain world will be successful. Upvoted your introduction post.

thanks @dindar you've got a great feed also. Followed

Thanks.

Great post! The important thing may not be talent but you certainly have it. Keep it up.

Thanks a lot @tychoxi It's just decades of doing something I love doing. I'm sure scientists feel the same way! :D

Welcome to Steemit animalartclub. Let me know if you got any questions about Steem or anything related to it! The official FAQ can be found here and has A LOT of information https://steemit.com/faq.html - Also remember, Steemit is just ONE of the sites built that uses Steem the blockchain. We also have DTube - our very own Youtube, DSound for Soundcloud and Steepshot if you prefer Instagram like experience. I'd also like to mention ChainBB - forums, Busy - Steemit with more modern look basically, DMania for memes and Dlive for streaming just like in Twitch! You can also earn Steem by gaming now! Search for Steemgar if that's more your thing. Welcome to the blockchain! :)

thanks @janne I'll keep that in mind while I learn my ropes :)

@animalartclub. I just say a little. You are capable and wonderful

thanks for the kind words @launglilawangsa _/_

First of all, welcome to Steemit :)

I find truth in your story, and somehow I find a bit of my own thoughts there too. I've also been an artist since little, and was encouraged to keep creating, until I left my homecountry and had to support myself. I had an exhibition, tried connecting with other artists, went to most of the galleries around the city, but ended up not having any money, so I had to pick a better paid area of expertise. I haven't really been drawing and finishing up a sketch or painting in several years, and I really miss it. Many times I said that I'll find some free time to start sketching, but never really got to do it. Maybe reading your post will give me one more push towards artistic happiness :)

One advice: Don't keep drawing because of some fear that you'll end up loosing your heart (like you dad). Keep drawing because it benefits you, and because you love art. It also doesn't do you well to compare yourself with other [unhappy, unfulfilled] artists. Instead, compare yourself with successfull ones, much much better than you, so you can become better as well :)

Thanks for your kind words. And you make beautiful work, by the way :)

And you're right on the spot on the advice. The only thing worth fearing is abandoning one's heart, no matter how shiny the reason.
Even though making art is a necessity for some (me included), it was never meant to be a substitute for finding one's center (which I've tried to do for many years).
That's what I've found, and it also dissolved any need for comparing myself to anyone else. And I'm glad you've found that out too!

Beautiful art! I've included you in my weekly curation Ocean of Art!

Wow, thank you so much @juliakponsford. I'm humbled to be invited :)

Love your art and I draw too. Thanks for sharing, hehe. I'm Oatmeal Joey Arnold. You can call me Joey.

Thanks @joeyarnoldvn - I mean, Joey :D

Welcome to Steemit, @animalartclub! Your work is beautiful and your words equally so - I found reading your post very moving and it resonated with me greatly <3 Art provides great healing for me too, so I totally get what you are saying here. And I have similar experiences with difficult family members. For example, my mother took her own life after years of - albeit unintentionally - making mine miserable. Unlike your father, she was all too adept at expressing her feelings, but to the point of being completely unbalanced and unable to consider the consequences of unleashing them upon me as a child. My healing sounds very similar to yours, even though the cause of our distress (our parents' - and our culture's - lack of sound and supportive parenting skills) presented in somewhat different behaviours and attitudes.

At its heart, I feel that our human suffering is caused by the same root - the failure to adequately understand our own feelings in relation to the world and other people, and the skills to communicate them in ways that serve us well. The beauty of artistic expression is that it rises above all of this and conveys, without the need for words, our innermost thoughts, feelings, observations and needs. Our art reflects our true nature back to us in ways that are healthy, supportive and therapeutic, as does the whole of nature and all of nature's creations. I will be following your blog here with interest and enthusiasm, and I LOVE what you've shared so far SO MUCH. I wish you continued healing from the life and death of your father. You are on the right path <3 Jay xx

P.S. I have resteemed this post and given you my 100% upvoted (for what its worth!)

Dear Jay,
Thank you so much for the kind words, for opening yourself up and for being so real. I believe we make it easier for ourselves to heal as a whole when we see how much alike our journeys actually are. You're right, behaviors and attitudes do change a lot, and yet I feel that the source of our collective distress is a lack of awareness of and connection to our own emotional life. Perhaps most of us just don't know what to do.
In any case, either extreme of this spectrum - not allowing any emotions to surface (filtering everything out) OR having no filter whatsoever, just seems like a huge waste of opportunity to really be present for ourselves. Of course, it's not anyone's fault to never having learned it. And that's the reason why we must share our journeys - and happily watch as the old paradigm just falls off.
In a nutshell, what I've learned from my father's death (he has also taken his own life) is that I was still waiting for him to offer my heart the safe space it needed in order to feel seen, accepted and loved.

And that in reality, I am the one that's perfect for the job. I was the one my heart was waiting for the whole time, while I was waiting for somebody else.

No more, no more :) <3

Great story. I know my calling is in art and design but it's easy to get pulled in by money and go a different way. I'm trying to keep myself on the right path :D Thanks for sharing. Following and upvoted.

I know what it feels like! It just seems like an endless upstream battle sometimes. Followed back :)

Welcome on Steemit!

Nice to see such a comprehensive introduce yourself post. This way we get to know you straight away. And I'm directly curious to see what future blogs you will write?

It's really great to have you as new Steemonian on this awesome platform. I hope you will enjoy Steemit just as much as I do. In my first 3 months I found out there is really a lot to discover. First of all about how Steemit precisely works (my suggestion is that you take your time to learn about that subj). But also to find out how you can find users that share interesting blogs? So who do you need to follow?

One of the things I really like is the social aspect. There are a lot of people willing to help you. And also after a little time you get a fan base. And last but not least, the are a lot of communities. Myself I joined the Dutch community (since I live in The Netherlands).

If you have any questions about Steemit, you can always try to find the answers in the welcome and/or FAQ section. Or if you prefer you can just ask me. I would be happy to help you out 😀

Exquisite words!!

Luar biaasa
Selanat beegabung