A couple of years ago I foolishly got drunk at my local sailing club. I was more interested in gazing lovingly at the plentiful supply of cleavage on display. However, in a moment of weakness, when one of my "friends" asked me if I would buy a yacht for £200 I joyfully agreed. I did think at the time that the conversation would go no further than that, but in a state of high inebriation I was encouraged to stagger out and watch as my boat was pulled from the weeds and deposited in a place where I could work on it.
It was only in the cold light of day I realised how much work I had to do.
One of the main missing components (apart from the knackered mast which I have covered elsewhere) was the lack of a rudder. These components are expensive to buy and I was determined to make one myself - I mean, how hard can it be?
So, stage one - find a design from somewhere. I eventually found the design for the rudder in a South African sailing club archive. I carefully took the simple design and drew it out on my board, meeting BS8888 standard just because I wanted to do it right. I then traced out my design on vellum and took it to my mate Angus.
Everybody needs to know at least one Angus. Angus' are useful creatures, fuelled by vegetables, lubricated with beer and soothed by whisky. My Angus is one of the most gentle people I have ever met, yet he is an incredible ball of productivity. For a living he attacks mountains with a shovel. The mountain never wins. This is not a joke, he literally races up hills, past earnest fully kitted walkers, while pushing a wheelbarrow in front. To relax after a hard day's mountain reconstruction he likes to take a cycle for 50 miles, just to loosen off his legs. He was once told about Genesis, from the bible, when he heard "On the seventh day God rested" he involuntarily blurted out "Lazy bastard!". I aspire to have a tenth of the energy he has.
On a sunny afternoon I visited Angus and his sublime wife, sat in their perfect garden, surrounded by beautiful flowers, exquisite wooden structures and showed him my drawing. I had barely finished my ceremonious unrolling of the pen on vellum perfect drawing when he said "Nae bother, I'll order the wood, see you next weekend and we will get cracking!".
I had only really come to him to find out if it was feasible, he had worked out the bill of goods and the construction method in a matter of seconds.
So, the following Saturday I arrive at his house as early as my creaky frame will allow. He was already in the garage, with a pencil behind his ear.
Here he is in his natural habitat. In a moment of great Zen focus all he can see is a piece of wood that is not in the shape that he wants. The wood does not stand a chance.
So we drew out the full size plan on the wood, confirmed it would fit and cut it right down the middle.
In the foreground you can see the plan from which we were working.
Then we prepped the surface for gluing. We used a big bottle of Gorilla Glue - after we had confirmed that it was impervious to water. We were really happy with the stuff and it was very satisfying to smear it out over such a large area.
Gorilla Glue foams up when it sets so it is important to clamp your objects firmly. Fortunately for me Angus has a metric fuck-tonne of clamps and he even made a quick jig to compress the centre parts of the wood. We left it overnight to harden.
You can see the sticky foamy goodess oozing out - this was exactly what we wanted to achieve.
Angus has a pathological hatred of the untidy so at the first opportunity he used his plane to clean up the edge and make everything square and true.
Then we got down to the detail. Back to the drawing, we placed it on the wood and looked at what we wanted to do. I found this part most interesting as it was the literal rendering to reality from a conceptual drawing. Notice how neat and detailed the drawing is - I put some good effort into that and it is something I will treasure for years to come.
I think Angus enjoyed having a clear plan to work to, rather than relying on his creative genius alone. If I was doing the job again I would not change the process at all - it is very rewarding and hugely stimulating to do.
Measure twice, cut once. We measured a lot and this is where having an Angus is useful - while I would have wrung my hands about every cut, he pressed on regardless. Inspirational stuff really.
Cut one. I was feeling stressed by the pressure and consequence of getting it wrong. He was feeling like a cycle would be refreshing.
Bendy cut done and before I had time to marvel at his creation Angus had whipped out his power planer and was bevelling the trailing edge.
While I am wondering things like, "How are we going to keep it symmetrical?" or "What if we sand beyond the edge?", he just pressed on like a robot. I think he paused at some point to take a mouthful of cold tea with wood shavings in it. I poured over my drawing like an expectant father, but effectively useless while he got in the zone.
My brain is screaming at this point "It's wrong, it's impossible, it cannot be done!". Angus' are immune to the petty fears of the small minded and he just kept on going.
Where a powered tool did not exist, he became the tool. Seriously it was a masterclass in woodwork.
And then, from nowhere, this appeared from his hands. All I could think was "Wow!". I think he allowed himself a smile, the humble genius that he is.
He took a break and made himself a cup of tea without shavings in it. We sat briefly in the sun while he photosynthesised. A bee pollinated his ear. They both seemed happy with the arrangement. Just as I was managing to bring my heart rate down to non-stressed levels Angus levitated from his seat and went back to the garage. Like a feeble apprentice I was asked to bring out his router. I plugged it in and in the blink of an eye he began rounding the edges.
There you have it. A drawing on paper rendered into reality. I was amazed at the workflow and attention to detail. I was blown away by the combination of sheer hard work and controlled finesse. There was the bones of my rudder, something that I will happily trust my life to.
Everybody should know an Angus, they are incredibly useful things.
In the second part I will go over the lamination and sanding, and sanding, and more sanding.
Happy sailing everyone, I am soon to join you on the water!
wow funny post. awesome writing. thanks for @agrestic