We are our own worst enemy. Think of all the times you’ve watched a speaker, or kids on a stage. You know they are petrified inside- their hearts are pounding, palms sweating. They may be struggling to remember lines. As you are watching them they falter, but you do not judge them, you smile in sympathy and continue on for the entertainment or information you came there for.
But when it’s your turn, you freak out and wonder what everyone will think of you. How they will judge you. You forget that you do not judge the speakers you go to watch. Just think- no one is judging you, either.
I used to freak out something fierce when I had to speak in front of a group until I realized this. Now it ain’t nothin but a thing! I stroll out on stage with full confidence, my heart beating normally. All because I know that I am not being judged. And even if I was, does it really matter? Will that one person in the audience who criticizes me to their friends at dinner later really hurt me?
My worst thing is my writing. It is never good enough. I struggle with multiple revisions and countless polishing sessions, trying to get it just right. I am literally my own worst critic. I think we each are.
MSM creates horrible body ideals in girls from the moment they begin watching television as a young child. The media Photoshop’s the bodies of females, we adults know this. But toddlers do not. Children are ingrained with a natural sense to emulate their elders. If you are a small girl and you see perfect (albeit fake) bodies everywhere you go- from the grocery store checkout magazines to all the mannequins and ads in the clothing shores, this body standard is permanently etched in your mind. This is what you are supposed to look like when you grow up. Actions speak louder so no matter how much you’re told otherwise, you will carry this perception with you.
We must let go of these self-perceptions in order to life a happy and fulfilled life. These are self-limiting beliefs which do nothing but hold us back.
Each of these are based upon a need for perfection. The thing is, nobody is perfect! Nothing is perfect! Look at Valeria Lukyanova.
She has spent several fortunes to look like the ultimate un-achievable female icon- Barbie. Val has even gone so far as to surgically remove ribs in order to achieve the Barbie dolls disproportionate waist. Don’t get me wrong- I’m all for going for your dreams and achieving your goals, but in cases such as this- perfection does not equal happiness. She has claimed she no longer needs any more plastic surgery in a press release, as she is the perfect Human Barbie finally. But such “perfection” comes at a price- other areas of her life are lacking. She has had to give up on a number of things in order to achieve this impossible standard- and is perhaps the most unhealthy role model for young girls.
You are not going to be “perfect.” But perfection is subjective anyway. If you are you, and try your best and do your best, isn’t that “perfect” in itself?
What would you have to give up for their ideal perfection?
You are your own worst critic. By far. Minus some of your parents who expect the impossible but, to each their own ;)
Take a look at your life. You have achieved some pretty cool things! You have survived hardship. You have and continue to push for your goals. You know what you want and you are working toward it. You are here on Steemit for part of that dream! Working hard to build your platform here with patience and lots of diligent work.
Give yourself a break. You can not ever reach their definition of perfect. But what does that matter? Give it up. Seriously. You can’t really know what their perfect is anyway, because no matter what they will always have something else they want.
Forget what they want.
Push aside the ideals that were subconsciously pounded into your brain without your permission.
Who are you? That is the question you must ask yourself. That is the right question, not who do they want me to be.
Your perfection lies in your mind. Determine what you want and what you need in order to live a happy life. That is perfection.
You cannot make anyone but yourself happy.
And only you can make you happy.
Be kind to yourself. Be gentle with yourself. You are perfect because you are you.
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I do agree with a lot of that and I am always criticizing my self way too much but I think this is what makes us better at what we do. If we get spoiled by everyone and by ourselves and are always satisfied with what we do, we'll never get better at it. I will quote someone I do look up to and is quite successful in the music sphere - "Never admire yourself too much, let THEM do that. You think on what you did and what you can do better next time."
I agree- everything in moderation though.
Of course otherwise you just go crazy or give up. As they say everything can be beneficial in small quantities. :)
Absolutely!
LOL!!!
...True...!
Nice post! I absolutely agree that perfection holds us back. One of my favorite sayings is "Perfection is the enemy of progress." Sometimes you just have to put something out there. It's better to focus energy on getting your creation into the wild rather than focusing on what others may think or say about it. It's taken me awhile to get into writing, mainly because I've always thought "Oh no, what will other people think if my writing sucks?!" Luckily I recently found out about Steemit and I decided to make an account and just start creating post. It helps to be somewhat semi-anonymous as well to get started. Anyways, great write up, cheers!
Steemit is an excellent platform for your writing! The community is wonderfully supportive and encouraging <3
Wonderful meeting you!
That is some really nice and educative post No one can be perfect though. At least that is what i believe. What we can do is get a little closer to it if we try our best. To me is like trying to get closer to the sun or possess all the riches in the world. It might sound absurd but that is what i believe.
Thanks for the motivationVery true. Perfection is subjective. Noone will ever be perfect. But you can be perfect within yourself :)
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Yeah, but without self criticism we often risk arrogance which is equally bad.
This is true
This can't be said enough! Especially to young girls! @suicidalviral