Introducing my Life Story to @tribesteemup | Early Childhood...

in #life6 years ago (edited)

Whole my Life I was different. I always had strong Set of Morals, Beliefs & Values. You might think this Trait was encouraged, but it wasn't. Completely opposite, I had Troubles cause of it my whole Life.

Seems like we are living in Times, when Majority is so afraid to listen to their Cosmic Radar, that they dislike you if you are being able to do it...

Growing up like this, it made me face many Obstacles & even Abuse in my earliest Days.

When I was just a Kid, I respected Women & wanted their Company, I knew they were special. Majority of my Class at that Time didn't know how to approach them, rather than hit or insult them. I always felt the Divine in Women & had strong Respect for them. So while the Children my Age were collecting Pictures of Football Players & playing Football, I was searching for a Soulmate haha

I somehow appreciated Female Company way much more. They had Peace in them and were much more open to Deep Conversations (yeah, even as Children lol).

So that Kind of Behavior (constantly hanging out with Women, being unable to adapt at Boy Circle), was the first Obstacle I had to go through. As Time passed, more & more Boys couldn't stand me. All the Girls they had Sympathy for, were constantly around me. Since they were always in kind of a Wolfpack, they had strong impact on Forming Public Opinion.

When you take in Consideration the Archonic Forces that are feeding on our negative Emotions, I don't really need to tell you what I had to go through. So, the first Misinformation that was spread about me was regarding my Flat Feet. Once I told it to some guy in Privacy (Privacy my Ass) and the next Day, whole School was bubbling about it. They named me the X-Man (indicating my Feet are wrong). But based on Misinformation, considering I had Flat Feet & that is completely different.

Being a Kid, about 10 Years old - I was completely unable to cope with the constant Attacks on my Psyche & the invisible Forces that were feeding on my Fears, Doubts, Traumas. I couldn't comprehend them. But I was going through my early Days with constant Pain, sometimes I couldn't feel asleep for Hours since I was constantly Picturing the Events from the last Day & what were others thinking of them. I was waking up in Pain, but at least feeling a bit less Pain so every Night I couldn't wait to feel asleep so I can wake up & feel a bit less traumatized, from all the Abuse I went through.

They even made a Youtube Video impersonating me with Wrong Feet & implying that I'm mentally damaged. Oh boy, that hurt me so much. I was in complete Shock.

Majority of my Days in School, I had to fight against some kind of Propaganda against me. Sometimes it was Physical Abuse but Majority was Mental & Spiritual. Every single Day a new Lie was spread about me that I was unable to cope with. I was walking through Life as a Kid, constantly Sad & full of Self-Doubt. As Time passed, they convinced me I worth less.

I was not even doubting it anymore, I convinced myself I worth less. I convinced myself they are better at Sports than me & everything else. I convinced myself that I'm completely unattractive & that every single one of my Abusers is somehow more attractive, even the ones that looked like Monkeys. :)

It was really hard growing up like that & extremely damaging for my Self-Esteem & my Ability to live Life in full Authenticity & what I should be. I started doubting myself in every single Situation, even the School that was extremely easy for me (since Educational System is BS), became full of Doubt & Uncertainty for me.

I was constantly sad. The more Abuse I was going through, it was harder for me to put an honest Smile on my Face. That is a Trait that still follows me, Majority of the Time I have really hard Times smiling from the Heart. Even though I'm completely aware of every single Event right now, the Walls I built as a Kid are so fucking strong that they are still pretty hard to break sometimes.

Positives are that now I'm aware, how all of that made me what I am today so I know how to react out of Wisdom, rather than my Old Wounds. But that is a pretty tricky part I see many are stuck into, so many Wounds they are reacting from being completely unaware of it - thinking that is them.

So, that kind of Events I had to go through made me a bit of Loner Wolf. As more Time passed, I was closing completely in myself. But not really in my True Self, rather in my Mind that I was a huge Prisoner of. My Imagination was pretty strong, so that helped a lot. Many Times when being highly Traumatized, I was able to run away in a completely new World using my Third Eye. My Pineal Gland was highly developed but I was unaware of it at that Moment. As more & more Time passed, I was eating wrong Ingredients, using Fluoride from Water & Toothpaste, got bombarded by all kinds of Matrix Bullshit (Such as TV Shows, Sports, Video Games), my Third Eye got Calcified.

All of a Sudden, I was not being able to run away in my Fantasy World & create in my Head whatever I wanted to, everything became foggy & my Imagination slowly declined.

That slowly led me to a new Era in my Life, highly Egocentric one. High School finally came, even though I was wounded I had a bit more of Experience, so I was able to put a Mask on myself & embrace the new Opportunities. This was a Fresh Start from me, since no one from my Elementary School was able to get into this High School I got into (it was for People who were way above average in English).

I met a lot of new People, I found a Girlfriend first Week there & I must admit my self-esteem slowly started growing (but the fake, Ego based one). So even though I found a Girlfriend & was happy about it, all my Wounds & low Self-Esteem Issues made me not being able to treat her Right. I was so insecure with myself, that sometimes I would act like i didn't see her when we passed each other in School.

And as you can imagine, that didn't last long - Relationship ended after whole week didn't pass. That didn't touch me at all. It actually helped me on my Ego Path, as I've realized Girls actually do find me attractive & this is just the Beginning. But little did I know how crushed I was and how many Personalities I developed!

That bring us to the turning Point of my Life, becoming a Hustler from the Hood. As I was fond of Rap Music I became Friend with People from my Hood who had the similar Interests. They smoked Weed & thought it was pretty cool, so I was getting to know them better I became fond with the Idea of trying Weed. Even though, my whole Life I was raised in a Christian Family where Weed was as Demonized as hard as it could have been.

This opened completely new Perceptions in my Head & developed a new, dominant Personality in my Life. His name was Litokar, he was a Ruthless Drug Dealer with lack of Compassion for everyone, crushing everyone on that Path & thinking only about his Needs. He was a Fighter, Drug-Dealer, Battle-MC, Rapper, Player (in Terms of hurting everyone) & all the other Things you can imagine that go with that similar Flow. I guess he appeared since he didn't want me to take shit from anyone, ever. He even searched Revenge against my Abusers in the Past. It was extremely enjoyable to go through Life with that new, dominant Figure... Little did I know how he was a by-product from all the Suffering & Abuse I went through as a Kid. So I wandered through Life, trying to find Myself but searching in wrong Places.

I was getting stronger, much more Confident, but somehow all of that was based on putting others down. I couldn't understand the basic Principles of Life & Universal Law. I guess as I was hurt so hard, I felt this is the right Way to go & maybe tried to compensate for my Past in wrong Ways?

In the next Episode, you can read everything about that highly dominant Personality & where it led me in Life, as well what it put me through. Until then, you can enjoy this song Litokar recorded exactly 7 Years ago (it is on Croatian, but you can hear the Energy).

The Purpose of this Series is to share my Life Experience so maybe you don't have to make the same Mistakes I did. By the Way, this Post was exclusively made for my Squad @tribesteemup so they can get to know me better. Much more Parts coming in the Future! Make sure to give my Tribe a 👀

We are a Group of amazing People & unique Individuals who are working on themselves everyday to make this World a better place! United we march towards our Goal, giving Power back to the People & helping them realize what they truly are, so they can connect to Divine Parts of themselves & regain their lost Wisdom!

If this rings any kind of Bell to you, most definitely check us out!

We nurture the Law of Attraction & therefore celebrate each others Success & take the Time to embrace our Gratefulness for being a Part of something much bigger than this Earthly us.

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Thank you @enjoyinglife for opening your heart and sharing your truth with us, some kids can be so cruel, a lot of it is learnt behaviour as well. Being aware at a young age is tough, as it makes you stand out.In the end that suffering, as you have said, has made you into the person you are today.

Don't worry. Thank you for gifting me with your Time & Presence :)

That means a lot! I'm just finding ways of expressing myself, English is not my native, but I will try harder :)

I hope you will read other parts... :P

Nice to meet you, brother. Can't wait for the next parts of this series, really looking forward to understanding how you overcame the emotional baggage of the past and the cultural programming of the system, I feel that there is something to learn from there :)

Thanks for the Love <3 :)

You are appreciated. The most interesting parts are just coming! Childhood is boring :P haha

Quite the story so far. As a professional astrologer it seems to me you have a very strong connection to Pisces and most probably Scorpio. I fully expect you will tell us about the development of your gifts one day. You probably have a strong Mercury too, in that you love to communicate. Anyway, look forward to more. Blessings.