Are you stuck in a phase of life where you are unable to understand whether a person loves you or it's just manipulation? Do you want one clear indication if you're in a confusing or clear relationship? Are you in a dilemma if you are in a healthy relationship or not?
Well, if you are feeling like all this in life, first of all, remember that it's not your mistake. As you grow up, you always have difficulty feeling emotions. You can't quickly figure out which relationships are good, which are not, who thinks good of you, and who takes advantage of yours.
Though there is a lot in the world to make you know what love is, it still becomes difficult for you to recognize how true, healthy love differs from manipulation as you grow up.
Being an adult, you know love. You know how love is crucial for survival. You know love brings hope, you know you want your friends, parents to love you, to find the best in you, appreciate you for your talents, and strengths. You know love gives joy, happiness, hopes like no other. You know love motivates you to move ahead in life and never let you down. You know love lifts you each time you fall or fail in life.
You know love is a distinctively beautiful emotion which makes you stronger each day incomparable with any other relation in the world. You know when you get what love is, you get what life is. You know when you look for a life partner, you look for eternal love, that is peaceful, comforting, and enduring.
You know it, and it sounds easy, but in reality, it is not. Most of the time, the majority of you fall in love with those who don't love or value you in return. And, it is your desire and hopes to have a lifelong pure bond with someone that asks you to hold on, keep you locked in, urge you to try one more time, and fit in a place that's not suitable for you. You never want to hurt that person anyway and leave side in difficulties.
You keep trying to fit a round peg in a square hole, but it's not worth it. There you need to understand that it is time for you to give up on that unusual individualist you love and are craving for as that person will not fit into a niche of your society no matter how hard you try. That person will always make things difficult for you and never guide you to a clear path in life.
No matter how much you love, do things to care for, that person will always take you for granted and make things worse for you in each step ahead of life. Also, they will try to confuse you in your happy times as well as use you as much as they can in their worst.
However, even if you get this and want to give up on that person not suitable for you, there comes a time in life where you no matter how hard you try, you are unable to recognize if a person loves you or is just manipulating you. You feel stuck between the feelings of true love and manipulation.
So, here are some of the core signals to guide you on your awareness to look into manipulation clearly and help you find the right love for you:
1. Manipulation is negative, healthy love is positive
When your partner is manipulating you, they consciously focus more on things you lack, your negative traits, what they cannot stand, do not like about you. Manipulators turn even the slightest of opinion difference with you into a big nuclear war.
They keep a regular eye on your mistakes and make you feel guilty about them as soon as they get a chance to. They never allow room for any human errors and leave any opportunity to make you feel like the worst person on Earth, good for nothing, and dependent on others for survival and other tasks.
On the other hand, healthy love prevails, where your partner focuses on your positive qualities in spite of the negative ones. And it is when your partner focuses on what they love about you, it becomes easier for them to love you as well as for you to love them.
Healthy love brings in fun, joy, happiness, laughter, support, activeness, enthusiasm, excitement, interests, openness, relaxing vibes, comfort, satisfaction, peace, dreams, and whatnot. Pure love is not loud, but it is quiet. The attitude, body language, effort, and the type of emotion your partner put in front of you is positive and says it all.
2. Manipulation is resentful, and healthy love is sexual
When your partner is manipulating you, they always seem to be filled with the feelings of disagreements, conflicts, irritation, aggressiveness. Your partner seems to hate you so much that they barely want to touch you, kiss you, cuddle you, hug you tight, hold your hand, and have sex. When your partner does not love you enough, you always find yourself stuck between the feelings of no-win games, confusion, headaches, and broken rules.
On the other hand, if your partner loves you from all the heart, they always seem to be clear to you with their words, actions, and deeds. Intimacy and constant physical touch is their ground for you to recognize that they love you, care for you, respect you, want to be with you, and want the best for you.
3. Manipulation is hypocritical, and healthy love is honest
Where there is manipulation in love, your partner rigidly places rules upon you, and it becomes compulsory for you to live to abide by the rules as forced on to you by them. However, your manipulative partner never seems to live by the same rules they apply to you. And if in case, you bring their hypocritical nature into reflection, they become more aggressive, shout instead of disagreeing, and instantly try to defend themselves.
They will cross any borders to prove themselves right. They can even blame you or some other person for all the problems and mishappenings in life, ultimately making you and the other person feel guilty of all it.
On the other hand, when the love is pure, honesty is visible. Your partner wants you to change certain things about yourself to keep your relationship healthy and to actively and lovingly bring it to the next pure level. Your partner listens to you, your problems, give advice, take advice, offer feedbacks, even take ones, and it goes like this.
4. Manipulation controls, healthy love is free
Where there is manipulation in love, your partner tries to control your freedom in and out of the relationship. Your partner never seems to like your independence, confidence, happiness, success, health. Your partner never likes it when you fight for good, justice, allow room for improvements in your lives.
You always feel stuck between what your manipulative partner wants you to do. You can't do things out of your choice. In and all, this type of love revolves around extreme possessiveness and in a restless desire to own one person and life.
On the other hand, when love is healthy, you do not feel any social barriers by your partner. You have a great friend circle. You feel free to do things. You possess your freedom to do whatever you want to. You socialize outside the relationship. You try to build a more healthy relationship with your partner, and they accept it.
You have a space to grow yourself in life. You have space to be better in life each day, to be happy, jolly, fun, confident, and successful. When love is healthy, you have it all!
5. Manipulation is nit-picky, healthy love finds the humor
If your partner is manipulating you, your relationship with them will seem to look like revolving around rigid rules. They will seem to be very particular on your habits like cleanliness habits, time frames, house chores, talking habits, thinking habits, eating habits, and many others as determinants of their respect, value, and importance, in your life. If you are out someday for work or say for any other thing and are late for even 5 minutes, they will make this small stuff so large and pretend like you have ruined their entire day and wasted a lot of time.
On the other hand, when love is pure, there is room for you to make mistakes. You can make mistakes and learn from them to correct them and not repeat them in the future. You may be imperfect, but your partner here is ready to accept you with all your flaws. Instead of finding faults in you, your partner will focus more on your positive qualities and accepts you for who you are.
6. Manipulation insults, healthy love compliments
Where there is manipulation, your partner fears and seems to be restless with your freedom and independence in life. To control you, your partners take advantage of your nice, kind, loving behavior, and continuously withhold emotional support to stop you from being free and happy in your world. They know that you are a good person and most of the time will leave no stone unturned to make someone else happy and satisfied.
They recognize your character and always try to put you down no matter how good you are to make them feel good about themselves and make you realize that you are not a nice person. They also do this to stop you from finding someone better than them as they fear that if you become confident enough, you may leave them.
On the other hand, when love is healthy, your partners never seem to judge you. They like you and leave no chance to break it to you in clear communication with them. Your partner seems sure, confident, and loving towards your relationship with them. Your partner tends to lift you each time you fall in life, encourages you to move ahead, live each second, work on the areas of improvement, and find the best of life in everything. Your partner motivates you to live up to your dreams and never give up.
Is someone buttering you up? Yes? Are you feeling good about it? Of course, you must be liking it as every one of us like the positives. Affirmation is good, no doubt. But, do you know if the praise is right or its just manipulation?
As you grow up, it is often hard to figure out the difference between love and manipulation. And most of the time, the majority of you end up with manipulators thinking that it is love.
Hence, as you grow up in life, it becomes essential for you to develop a critical skill of what is known as "an inner meter on manipulation" to master your inner self, be independent, become a forever positive person, find the best version of yourself. And most importantly, help save yourself from all the manipulation in the world.
After all, you deserve a love that is pure, lasting, clear, and unconditional! So, understand manipulation, and get all the true love in the world!