And if so, is there another in ten miles or so?
I was out with a friend the other night, and something she said struck me as kinda odd. I was telling her about my cousin (same age as me) who's just finished university, and taking a year off to figure out what he wants to do with his life. Which I think is pretty damn smart. Way better than launching into a life you're not sure you want, just "to do something".
And I told her this, and she laughed - oh god, you're all so "figuring things out". Because I've been feeling a little not figured out myself, lately, and as a good friend, she knows that. And I'm still trying to. Figure shit out. But what seemed strange was, this friend was the same age as us, 23. And I wondered, isn't it normal not to be figured out at 23?
I mean, why get a job that doesn't suit you? Just to have a job, at all? I mean, sure that sounds great, if you need the money. But if you can afford some time to figure yourself out, wouldn't it be better to take a little time? 'Cause it's not a joke here, it's your life.
Not talking about myself, I have a job, one I like, actually, and one that allows me plenty of freedoms, already. On that plane, I'm good for now. But on others, like what I wanna do, and my writing, and where I wanna be a year from now, I ain't got the faintest idea.
And maybe that's not so bad.
I guess what worries me is that I see some people still "figuring things out" in their 30s, or even 40s, to the point where it's stopped them having a life. Or having a life, as I see it, anyway. I don't wanna get to a point where I'm 32, and still dunno what I want to do, or how I should do it. At the same time, I don't think I wanna be 32 and regret settling down too early, or not doing the things I dreamed of as a kid. So I think I'm gonna do that for now, and see what happens.
What do you think? Is there an age that's too old for figuring things out? Should you sit down and think, when confusion and uncertainty hit, or just plow on through?
I'm about to turn fifty-one and was one of the lucky ones. I figured out what I wanted to do with my life early but the problem is it took me until I was forty-six to make it work so I had to do a bunch of other things to pay the bills --- working soul-killing corporate jobs, selling handmade books of my poetry, refurbishing vintage watches and selling them, etc.
To be honest I've met very few people who even know what they want to do with their lives. We are among the lucky ones. Modern society has largely misguided us here. The pressure of "having to figure it out" by a certain age oftentimes paralyzes people. Making a career or professional the sole wellspring of their happiness and fulfillment is equally as paralyzing. At this stage of life I realize happiness and fulfillment come from a variety of sources. Time is linear but life necessarily isn't, it's like a mosaic.
I think the amazing thing about the world today is if we don't know what we want to do it's perfectly fine to try a bunch of different things until we find what really fulfills us. Sometimes what fulfills us is not a career at all, it's a hobby, or raising a family, gardening (or all of that combined).
I wish more people paid attention to what fills them with positive energy and joy. The secret is THAT is what they have to figure out. What makes time speed up instead of slow down? Once they determine what fills them with energy and joy all they have to do is pursue it.
I love this. I wish this wasn't so hard to remember, sometimes.
Yeah, it seems to me that a lot of people just grab some path at random, just to say they figured it out. I think it's really brave to take the time and have the guts to say I don't know.
You said something similar to me a few months back, about radiating joy, and I can't get it out of my head. So lately, I'm trying to aim towards that, rather than towards something coherent, you know?
It certainly is tough to remember but gets easier with practice.
I do believe our emotions and feelings are definitely there to help guide us through this maze of life. If we do more of those things that -- fulfill us, bring us joy, makes time pass quickly then we're on the right path for us as individuals.
Radiating joy is a good way to attract more of that stuff your way and the joy naturally comes when you pursue the things that make you happy, it really becomes like one big closed loop.
Thanks for the thought provoking post and have a wonderful week!
thank you for the thought-provoking...well, thought :) I always appreciate conversations with you.
You're very welcome! I hope I'm not coming off as a "know it all". I'm the first to admit there's still a lot I don't know. : ) I'm just trying to pass on lessons I've learned.
Not at all! I think you can tell when someone's imparting genuine wisdom, and when they're just talking outta their ass, and I think this is definitely the former ;)
Oh good! I was just remembering a lot of our past interactions and I'm always trying to impart some kind of wisdom. Lol.
I'm almost 50 and still figuring things out...😣🤭😃