African parents and the emotional blackmail

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He got missing since last year and every means to trace him, have become impossible. He went out that morning as usual to hassle. Bills have to be cleared. He is their only hope because the father had never had a stable job and his mom is a house wife. He has twelve siblings and he is the first.

Our parents go through a lot for us, providing us with food, shelter, sending us to school, whether it is their responsibilities or not, is not the bone of contention here, in fact we are very grateful for that.

However, what I don't understand is how most of our parents have vested most of their responsibilities on the first child. From a very young age, most African parent are already transferring their responsibilities to the first child.

Now, this is where I think the emotional blackmail comes in. It is the first child that have to sacrifice his/her life, career to the upbringing of the other siblings.

At a very young age, he is already taking responsibility for the younger ones at the expense of his own future.

It is the first child that has to do any type of work to train his siblings through school. It is the first child that has to settle down last especially if it's a male because they wouldn't want a wife that may protest.

And it is not even one or two children but four, five and even more. My uncle gave birth to 13 children even when he doesn't have any stable job, the first child has to take up the responsibility for his younger siblings, doing all sorts of menial jobs at the expense of his own future.

In the course of all this, he was kidnapped and till today he is nowhere to be found. The second child is shouldering the responsibilities now.

I know a child is the one that gives the parent the strength when they no longer have strength. The pillar which they rely on at their old age but why bring a child into the world when you don't have what it takes to be a parent.

Emotional blackmail is a way of trying to make someone do something by making them feel guilty. It is a powerful form of manipulation.

The emotional blackmail has to stop, it is your responsibility to take care of your ward until they can stand on their own and not the other way round. It is a barbaric African custom especially in Nigeria that needs to stop.

Our parents believed that giving birth to more children will bring them out of poverty. This has to stop. Bring children to the world but not more than you can cater for. The future of one child should not be jeopardised at the expense of the other.

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Thanks for reading.....