Please don't make me pick the wine! 🍷 [ClichéFR #3]

This is the third installment of my Debunking myths about the French, one cliché at a time series. We’ve tackled language, diet, and now we move on to the subject of wine.

Look the word up in any dictionary. None will give “French” as a synonym for wine connoisseur. But French people apparently have it spelled out on their foreheads: “wine savvy.” Just because I was born in France, I am supposed to have this innate knowledge of vino. And food pairing. I recall a French friend of mine, fresh off the boat, working in this wine shop in Westport, CT. He had just graduated and was the youngest employee. However, customers would go to him with their questions, assuming his nationality somehow guaranteed better advice. If that were the case, then we wouldn’t need to attend “wine schools,” would we?

Here is the honest truth: I don’t know much about wine. I just know that I like drinking it. I can also distinguish a Bordeaux bottle from a Bourgogne. I always serve le vin rouge at room temperature and le rosé fresh. But that’s pretty much it. If I wanted to learn more about that liqueur de Bacchus, I would have to attend wine school. That’s where you get the knowledge, the vocabulary, the smelling and tasting techniques, the serving and food pairing tricks, and much much more. And when I say wine school, I’m not joking. Downing a few bottles every week won’t get you that wine MBA.

There are several Bachelor and Master’s degrees, MBAs and MBSs to choose from for those who wish to work in the wine business, because of the variety of professions in this industry. The University of Bordeaux even offers a PhD in Biological and Medical Sciences with Oenology as an option. However, if your goal is a career in oenology, France only recognizes one diploma: the DNO or Diplôme National d’Œnologue. The oenologist is like a grape consultant, tasting the fruits before they are harvested, sampling the wine throughout its vinification, coming up with blends… The caviste (cellerman) is in charge of bottling and preservation, taking orders from the maître de chai, the conductor of this whole operation. On the other end of the process is the sommelier, who does not interfere at all in the winemaking. His or her expertise is needed downstream when the bottle arrives at the table.

I am just the consumer, at the very bottom of the wine chain. And as much as I would like to feel flattered by the implication, making me choose the wine is rather stressful because I have to pretend I know what I’m doing. So for wine advice, I suggest you get yourself a copy of Ophélie Neiman’s book Wine Isn’t Rocket Science. You could also try out the MOOC Vine and Wine on the FUN platform. In fact, I could use a remedial class on the matter myself.

Photo by Kym Ellis on Unsplash!

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