It makes a conundrum for me as it doesn't make any sense not to identify as Feminist. Women's rights is still very new. It's not even in one human life time that women had all the options anyone should have in life. At least in Western Civ. Now the term 'feminist' is the most loaded term in the language, a floating signifier, and if I say I'm a Feminist, some assume beliefs I don't have (many anti-feminists are glad to hate the label; very glib about it).
That's the general problem with adopting many labels, but Feminist is affected the most. So I went from 'anti-femnist', to 'feminist'. I thought it was cowardly to not claim such. Now I realize its just ineffective. As much as some feminists are extremists, the word has become a pejorative in some sense. Which is really significant symbolically, and is why feminist principles still need championing. It doesn't have to have anything to do with men vs. women. Aside from rape laws which have fought that 'boys will be boys' mentally; now both genders have to think about consequences of social life which once only women did. Sometimes it is true that males dont like feminism because they lose privileges and the de facto male perspective that's accepted in some spheres.
Through my travels in life I've found that both men and women are striving for the same thing in life but trying to achieve it in different ways because of their biological and psychological make-up. A man wants a family, a woman does too - and similarly a man wants to be single and have fun, a woman does as well. But each try to achieve this in entirely different ways because of social constructs, ideologies and a whole range of forces in our micro and macro environments.
When people start getting a hang of this, truly, then I think we can move towards the common good. Rather than a blame game it can be changed into a life journey where we support each other. Gawd. I'm such an idealist lol
To me, at core, feminism claims women suffer more than men do because men protect a system that benefits them at the expense of others. I haven't found this to be true. And I haven't found that people need to identify with the ideology to be very well aware of women's struggles or champion for better treatment.
I think the idea that women suffer because men ignore to their benefit is dangerous, it can create resentment and hinder conversation.
It's difficult to describe the conditions of one gender without contrasting it with the other, the hypocrisies are there. It can easily be misconstrued; 'women are judged for this yet men not' doesn't have to mean 'men have life easier' or that men as a collective are conspiring to keep this status quo or those absurd things. either side of the feminism debates seem to go to their assumptions of the other in a reactionary way.
No feminist will admit that men and women could face the same struggle in regards to gender discrimination but in different ways. They need that oppressor and they need the oppressed. There is no feminism, no wave of feminism, that supports the idea that women suffer in equal meassure or less than men do. The whole things is about men having it easier. I am not saying a feminist, a person, couldn't see the struggle of men. But feminism is not a feminist, feminism is an idea, and I just stated what the idea is. You wanna know if I am right? Try to suggest to a feminist that men could suffer just as much as women do and see what happens. Any mention of men's issues that doesn't start with the mention that women have it worse is not welcome by this idea.