It is true that you get to learn a lot when observing other people and their behavior but I’ve found that you get to learn even more by observing and paying attention to your own behavior without any prejudice at all.
I realized this when I was studying the behavior of random people in public spaces and how they tend to act when they are with friends and when they are in the company of strangers. I used to ask myself, “Do I do the same things?”
One of the times I did this was when I noticed how so many people are like eggs today, meaning, softer on the inside and hard on the outside. I realized that I was the same way and I began looking for reasons why.
While this doesn’t apply to everybody, of course, because we are all different and we simply can’t generalize things like that but still I have seen that this applies to many, especially in the internet infused world of today.
People Are Quick To Judge These Days
Each individual is a part of the society and while there are rules that are written that we all follow, there are many that are unwritten and we still follow them. So far so good. The problem arises when some particular rules are perceived to exist while in reality, they have absolutely no sense at all.
We behave differently in different places and situations and with different people, just because we “think” that we are supposed to be doing that. If we don’t do so, we feel like we might get judged by other people.
Even our clothing and other aspects of lifestyle are largely affected by such a notion. That is why we have created this outer tough shell to shield ourselves from the judgmental eyes of the society.
That is why we only allow people to experience the softness in us after we get to know them better ourselves. Isn’t there a difference between how you talk to a stranger and a friend? You have absolutely no care about what a friend will think or say. It’s basically about comfort.
Everyone Is The Same Inside
While some may look more successful than others or even more intimidating than others at first sight, inside we are all the same human beings made of flesh and bones.
Everyone has good and bad times in lives and everyone comes with their own baggage. That guy who looks arrogant and tough and cold from the outside, is probably very depressed inside and just wants someone to see past through that tough exterior.
Everyone has their own story which includes times of invincibility and times of vulnerability and thanks to the modern society, we tend to exaggerate the times of invincibility and completely hide the broken part of ourselves.
This situation is only worsened when we know people only on the internet and don’t meet at all or that often in real life. We create this “image” of other people that doesn’t match the real personality of the person at all and we get a shock when we get to meet them in person where we finally get a glimpse of that soft inner core.
So, yeah! Shed that outer hard shell and overcome that fear of judgement. You will be a lot more free and people will appreciate you more for showing them your true inner self, leading to stronger, more meaningful relationships.
Understanding humans is one of the toughest things. Most humans prefer living by the assumptions and blame others for all the lemons that life throws.
We are taught to be in a shell and live following rules of the society and slowly we mend our happiness to gel with those RULES of the society. While we can't change the whole; least we can do is spread kindness and value people around us.
Rightly said. If enough of us break that shell, I think it could become a phenomena and ultimately the whole HAS to change!
BTW, it was really nice to meet you at the meetup :)
Pleasure's entirely mine Saurav
Very nice post helpful post... @sauravrungta bhai..
Thanks!
I think you have touched upon a phenomena that I have thought a lot about and that is how social media causes people to create these false or idealized online images of themselves. What really concerns me is that children are doing it younger and younger and that by creating these personas we lock ourselves into certain ways of being or identities. For example it used to be that whatever you were in high school, a goth or a stoner or jock or whatever that you could go to college and then create a whole new identity and then even do so again after you left college. That is all part of development. But now kids start developing these social media personas younger and younger and immerse themselves in a world and create a record that follows them where they are defined as whatever they were, locked into whatever choices they made when they were 13. I don't know what to do about this but it makes me feel bad that technology is causing people to be developmentally stalled.
Oh man, I can't agree more with you. Perfectly said! And this is something that worries me too. As more and more younger people are getting access to the internet, this problem is getting that much worse. I think it comes down to parents to handle this kind of behavior and I see a total absence of that.
More and more I see a family out to dinner with each member of the family on their own device and none of them talking to each other, those parents are not aware of their kids and they don't care.
Yeah that is really sad.
Greetings
Greetings!
true.. everyone is busy trying to be someone else and try not to do something different out of the "Log kya kahenge" fear!!
Exactly. This "log kya kahenge" is so severe in India that it bugs me and makes me want to pull out my hair!!
fact.. i don't have hair remaining now :P
:P
Human is judgemental, they judges people by their own aruments and thoughts, sometimes humans feelings violates all.
That is true.
today, people are not just like eggs. But more than that, I think. People use smartphone, but never want to be smart to respond everything that is in the smartphone. Books no longer read, because people are busy chasing the news. They are afraid to miss the news of gossip, and science is ignored.
Yeah, many different ways to look at it :)
It is true, we behave different with different people depends on the situation and how close we are to those people.
People are very different and have different characters . We should not judge anybody, but accept them the way they are :)
Exactly. I wish we can all adopt this thinking.
I think we are hard shells from need. With so many vying to use and our psyche we have grown that protection.
But we need also to be cautious as it is too easy to crack and like Humpty Dumpty, putting back the pieces is darn near impossible.
I totally agree that this shell has come forth because of the need and I don't see any reason why anyone would want to break it on purpose. I wish we lived in a world where we didn't have to have a protective shell.
True. I think the outer shell is also to protect ourselves from the bullies. If you appear soft from outside you are most likely to be bullied and exploited. Many people want to avoid that and thus go tougher from outside.
Yeah, I totally agree with that. The outer shell has been developed due to its need in the modern world which is not very kind to soft people.
Absolutely. But unfortunately the world can't be changed. Its survival of the fittest.
Yes, unfortunately it has become like that.
You can observe a lot by just watching. - Yogi Berra.
That's so true :)
Humans are prejudistic in nature,they love to follow a perticular monopoly it's in their mindsets.
EX:when Indian FM told the govt is planning to liquidate all illegal crypto assets the resident has,people gone crazy and started dumping the coins into market makes crypto fall abruptly. without listening what exactly he told.
haha yeah! I remember that. People see what they want to see and hear what they want to hear. It's sad really.
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
Exactly :)
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Well said brother ¡♡
Thanks :)
Self aknowladgebme is seldom gift theese day. I believe everbody has a hard Shell. It is actually healthy i believe. People are people altough the tought of beeing a open book is great an apeeling i dont think that is necessary is the best way to go.
But interesting reading. I will be wollowing you.
Thanks for the kind words and I agree that it is quite necessary these days.
Nice post and I agree with you completely. All people are the same inside but different on the outside. And the difference is in the way people behave to the surroundings. Example people behave with love and care with the dear ones and accordingly with others. This is such an informative post. Thank you. @sauravrungta
Yeah, inside we are all the same basically. We all want love and care. That's it. Thanks for reading :)
thanks God corporations invest in role models for us ;D!!!
I don't think I understand you.
I was ironic ;)
Another good post, as you say, in our human nature we are all stemming from the same source, sharing a universal consciousness.
We all live under an illusion of separateness, what we all really need to do is what you say is to shed that outer shell and focus on the underlying connection between each other, life is much more enjoyable that way ✌🏼
Thumbs up brother!
Oh yes, definitely. The separation is just an illusion and we should recognize this and live like we are supposed to.
Damn this is some quality content @sauravrungta!
People are definitely judging very quickly nowadays. I actually also catch myself doing that still too often to my taste. At least I am more aware now and try to minimize it :-)
Thanks for the kind words :)
The judgmental habits are what cause a lot of the insecurities in people and we should all try to stop doing so. I am minimized it a great deal too and working towards completely stopping it.
This might be because probably we feel some insecurities when dealing with new people. This might be an instinct or something like that.
For example, animals also act differently when seeing another animal for the first time. We don't feel as comfortable interacting with people we don't know. I believe all of this is related to our instincts
I totally agree. It's almost always because of dealing with new people and to a great extent, the fear of judgement from these new people.
Nice read, keep posting.
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Thanks!
You have correctly said that the brain is with everyone but how to use it. Only somebody knows that someone likes something, so nobody's mind does not do the same thing. This world's ritual is just like this is
True :)
No one can deny the fact that people judge a lot these days and we get to experience it a lot in our day to day life. Moving ahead in life will not be easier if people tend to get stick in the judgment thing.
That is so true! This problem has become even more drastic today due to so many reasons. On the internet, for example, it is so easy to judge by typing something on a keyboard.
I also agree that we will not get anywhere if we get stuck in this fear of judgement. Thanks for a great comment :)
we create this “image” of other people that doesn’t match the real personality of the person at all and we get a shock when we get to meet them in person where we finally get a glimpse of that soft inner core
ditto! i really think first impressions aren't a good indicator into who a person is. Whether its online or in person for the first time, we all filter people through our own unique lenses which distorts our perception of them.
Yeah, and the sad part is that most people think that "first impressions are the last impressions". They most certainly aren't! How many times have we judged someone on the basis of the first meet but have had to correct ourselves completely as we got to know them better?
We all have two faces and act differently depending on the vibes that we get from the other person.