Chapter Intro

We're all narcissistic to some degree. What we don’t realize is to what degree this hinders our progress and negatively affects the quality of our lives.

Living a humble, meditation-centered life means constantly pushing back against our ego and its self-centered and limiting behavioral habits. This is the key to opening the doors to natural and honest and infinite attention, love, kindness, and abundance. That’s what this final chapter is all about.

Thanks so much for reading along. I’m thrilled to know this book will now be living forever on the blockchain. I’ll be creating a separate post with a Table of Contents so you can easily find and navigate the chapters in the future. It's been a joy sharing this with you.

Read on...

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Chapter Twelve

It’s All About We

The older I get, the more I realize how many people in this world crave attention and are primarily just looking out for their own self interests. All of us have some narcissistic traits. Some people have learned to disguise this better than others. However, there are a category of people who are insatiable in this regard and can never get enough, they can’t stand when anyone else is getting the spotlight.

These traits are encoded in our DNA to help aid in our survival through childhood. Craving attention and attempting to manipulate others for your own self interest is vital when you’re a helpless child and are totally reliant upon the adults around you for your care.

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Live for yourself and you will live in vain; Live for others, and you will live again.” - Bob Marley

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As we grow into adults, this evolutionary byproduct of our childhood hinders our happiness and quality of life much more than it helps us. Social media only encourages and amplifies this ego-driven competition for attention and validation. These days some full grown adults will even resort to unhealthy, extreme, and even dangerous behavior for more “likes” and “follows” on social media.

To begin to live a humble, meditation-centered, life we must learn to leave this all behind. We must learn to live less for ourselves and more for others. A byproduct of learning to live this way is that you will naturally be showered with honest love, kindness, attention, and abundance. The truth is there’s an infinite amount of these positive things in our universe, we don’t have to compete for them and hoard them. When you begin to consciously shift your focus from only yourself to others, an incredible shift begins to happen and you will experience greater abundance.

Most of us know at least one insatiable person who constantly seeks the spotlight. Until we’re wise to the root causes that drive their behavior we are often naturally drawn to them because they seem to lead exciting lives and are confident.

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"Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile." -Albert Einstein

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This kind of emotionally needy person typically steers the conversation in their direction and dominates it. Their attention seems to be a million miles away when you’re talking to them. The fact is they’re probably not listening at all because they’re too busy formulating what they’re going to say next.

The simple fact is we might, at first, be attracted to the stereotypical “alpha” personality traits because it seems like they are overflowing with confidence. However, these overly aggressive and narcissistic qualities quickly lose their luster. Eventually most people will grow tired of the narcissism and make long term connections with those who are good listeners and care about more than just their own wants and needs.

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“There is a magnet in your heart that will attract true friends. That magnet is unselfishness, thinking of others first; when you learn to live for others, they will live for you.” - Paramahansa Yogananda

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Take A Vacation From Yourself

The easiest way to “take a vacation” from yourself and whatever worries you may have is to shift your focus away from “I.”

Try to empathize with someone who has a different viewpoint than you, and really make an attempt to understand an issue from their point of view. Give of yourself, volunteer for the less fortunate. Pay for a stranger’s coffee or anonymously pay for their meal in a restaurant. Alternatively, take care of something, buy a houseplant or adopt a pet. These acts of giving will pay you back great dividends of less stress, peace of mind, and higher self-esteem.

When you start paying attention you will see that in life you get what you give. When you’re feeling down, the quickest road to recovery is to help someone else out. Also, surround yourself with people who are already like the type of person you’re trying to become. Read the biographies of those people who have the traits that you’d like to acquire. Practice being a good listener and you’ll be surprised at how many lessons you’re missing!

Putting It Into Practice

Most of us write several emails or text messages per day. Pay close attention to how many times you use the words “I” and “me” in your daily correspondence.

Also, become mindful of how many times you speak the word “I” throughout the course of the day. You’ll be shocked, I know I was! This little trick is the world’s best “self-absorption indicator” and that will give you an instant glimpse of how the rest of the world sees you.

Try to consciously reduce the frequency of using the words “me” or “I” in writing and speaking.

As a reminder, set a notification on your mobile phone to remind you a couple times per day that, “It’s Not All About Me.”

Make it a practice to, pay it forward, do something nice for someone at least once per day. This can be anything from opening a door, to helping someone change a flat tire, anonymously paying for someone’s purchase in a store, or simply complimenting them on their appearance.

Using the Notes feature of this chapter records how these simple steps make you feel.

Epilogue

I hope this book sparks a wonderful journey for you. If you’ve read it to the end, all I can say is I’m honored. If you integrate some of these teachings into your life I will be thrilled. I promise you will not regret it.

Back Cover Text

Meditation is one of the greatest evolutionary gifts we have at our disposal. It is a gift that we will only realize the true value of in the years to come. Despite how dire the state of our world might seem now, humanity’s potential is blindingly bright. In the coming decades we will see more technological and social change than humanity has experienced in the previous thousand years combined.

We are on the forefront of an explosion in advancements in the areas of artificial intelligence, gene-therapy, virtual reality, robotics, 3-D printing, and autonomous vehicles that will spark an unprecedented transformation of our species. Humanity has only just begun to take its first toddling steps into the crucial stage of directed and conscious evolution.

Most people can’t even yet conceptualize the advancements that are coming. One thing is certain: it’s going to be a wild ride, and for that reason it will be more important than ever that we stay grounded and have the ability to quickly adapt to change. Meditation is the very best tool we have to accomplish this. The simple practice of meditation will help to prepare us for whatever our future holds. The sooner you begin, the more positive your life-experience will be.

Link to purchase The Perfect Pause

All for now.

With Gratitude,

Eric Vance Walton

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Poetry should move us, it should change us, it should glitch our brains, shift our moods to another frequency. Poetry should evoke feelings of melancholy, whimsy, it should remind us what it feels like to be in love, or cause us to think about something in a completely different way. I view poetry, and all art really, as a temporary and fragile bridge between our world and a more pure and refined one. This is a world we could bring into creation if enough of us believed in it. This book is ephemera, destined to end up forgotten, lingering on some dusty shelf or tucked away in a dark attic. Yet the words, they will live on in memory. I hope these words become a part of you, bubble up into your memory when you least expect them to and make you feel a little more alive.

Pick up a copy of Ephemera today on Amazon.

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Most of us have experienced a moment of perfect peace at least once in our lives. In these moments we lose ourselves and feel connected to everything. I call these mindful moments. Words can’t describe how complete they make us feel.

These moments are usually fragile, evaporating in seconds. What if there was a way to train your mind to experience more of them? It’s deceptively easy and requires nothing more than a subtle shift in mindset. My new book, Mindful Moments, will teach you to be much more content despite the chaos and imperfect circumstances continuing to unfold around you. Upgrade your life experience today for only $15.99 on Amazon.com.

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