Haven't been on Hive, been busy. See price tanks, feel nothing. See the same old political landscape, nothing changes. Just have some relief that people I know still post in this place.
I'll be rambling about the snippets that has been happening while I'm offline. This place gets lets me become self absorbed for a few moments +upvotes so let me live.
I'm currently seeing medicolegal cases. You know, the ones that require me to appear in court and testify as an expert witness and some forensic psychiatry stuff. It's its own headache to deal with some of the cases since you get to hear about the worst acts other humans can do to others and sometimes I get to interview the perpetrators doing it too.
Stalkers
Had some patients messaging me on my personal account for follow ups about their cases and etc. Although I did have fault how it happens since my profile is "Public", yeah, I set my profile to public for variety of reasons since this line of work will eventually get me more public eyes in the future. I cleansed some of my old shitposts prior but not all of the stupid shit just so I don't seem too clean. I'm still not sharing my profile here though. The contradictions of this move ikr? anyway, explaining it further gets me to ramble.
So back to the stalking thing, some people can't take a no and need boundary seminars and I can't just say fuck off and block. The nature of the people I deal with in the clinics can have some degree of unpredictability to them like being punched unprovoked just cause the voices told them to or just for impulsive reasons. Some are psychotic that they incorporate their doctor's identity to their delusions and make an entire social media rant about them, happened to my colleague and not me.
The down side about trying to get any legal help is that the end point is a slap on the wrist cause you know some of the people responsible for doing this are psychotic and needs meds. I wouldn't be surprised if I get those at some point in my career, it sometimes becomes a checklist for seniority in the field but it's not a pleasant experience.
Mentorship and Life Coach
Got myself a mentor because it's required by the training program I'm in. She gave me an assignment like writing a personal social history of my life to help me reflect and reexamine things.
Having the realization that I may have ADHD makes total sense and it if were true, not sure how it would change anything other than a label. There's a lot of research on it but I've been self medicating with Caffeine to the point I'm having Caffeine Use Disorder, it's a thing where I need to get my head more stimulants just to function like a responsible adult. I just you read about how stimulants help people with ADHD because it's a fun read. That being the case, I don't want to make a self diagnosis of such because I'm no different from the people that google their diagnosis, instead I'll try to get this stuff sorted out with some professional help.
There's no flex or badge worth bragging about it unlike how social media tends to popularize the disorder. If I do have it, well that explains some stuff about how I've been doing things and maybe get some help about it. If I don't get some help about it, then there's no difference to the way things have been going for me since I've been high functioning enough to look normal. It doesn't cause me problems other than a problematic caffeine intake and the health issues that come along with it.
The Art
I've been stockpiling some art materials and scribbles but not really putting in the effort "make art" like I used to. Probably something to my ADHD brain or just procrastinating. But I'm busy with other stuff at work. I'll get to this, I have to try more~
Thanks for your time.
I was wondering where you'd gotten to, figured it was probably busy but obviously hard to tell with people that you only know online and then they vanish.
Unfortunate about the stalker -_- they're such a pain in the system.
There's so many of us with undiagnosed adhd/autism/both/something. I think the reason it got "popular" on social media was back in the day when it was less known about people were "raising awareness" and now in most places there's plenty of awareness but people (both in general and "spreading awareness") haven't quite caught up yet.
Also I think in the case of a few select it makes them feel "different" and "special" or they think that they should get special treatment/allowances because of it.
Similar to you I think it just helps explain a lot of things and then that nonsense becomes a bit easier to work around.
Do you have a schedule? I really, really hate them and my brain still kind of fights about it sometimes but is grudgingly getting better about it (20 years too late as it would have helped me IMMENSELY at uni but I could not for the life of me figure how to to time manage then) as that's literally the only way I'm getting anythinng at all done (and even then it's a massive effort as despite not wanting to actually follow the schedule which has proven countless times to work, because of the way it's wired my brain will still cry if something goes awry and I have to adapt the schedule in a hurry XD).
Nice seeing signs of life from you :)
I don't have a schedule, I work in the moment but realized I'm a walking contradiction between one aspect so organized OCD level and the other disorganized parts. The contrast is so great that people would'nt guess how my room would be a dumpster fire and I'm chill with the mess. I'm still on the hedge on whether to call it ADHD as self diagnosis is one of my pet peeves and here I am thinking about it, better to just get a colleague to have a look. My bias is just this being a phase and just overdosing my life with caffeine brought this on me.
I'm self-diagnosed XD though it was partially confirmed with "strong suspicions" from two separate health professionals when I was getting Youngest diagnosed all those years ago. It's not like you have to post it on all your social media profiles and you probably only need to get the formal diagnosis if it would help with something at work or if you think you might need meds, it just gives you some idea of what you're working with and more/effective hacks/workarounds if needed.
If it's a phase then maybe, if it's been a consistent thing through your life either keep working around it if you don't think it's that big of a deal or ask one of your colleages for their expert opinion :)
I was wondering where you were but I reckon we all have that busy season in our life. Hope you can navigate the stalker situation and find resolution to it and to be fair, that is something I fear a bit too since I am now a bit more public than before. Glad to see you writing here again!
So far, most have been kind enough to stop after being told not to message me privately and just use the official channels. But there will be days when a few reminders are needed. The thing about these interactions is that you don't know who's going to end up taking the step further, you'll definitely see them in person in the clinics so I tend to be mindful about how I chat with them.
My son in law also has ADHD. When I was chatting with him recently about his newfound love of coffee, he said that it helps him manage his ADHD.
I know that he had lots of problems in earlier life but he has a good handle on it now, is very high functioning, and doesn't seem to care about what people might think of him. That's not to say that he is aloof - quite the opposite. He's supportive and caring but he's stopped caring about a label that means as much as the colour of his eyes.
!BBH
Coffee being the wonder drug for concentration problems. I haven't received an official diagnosis despite being within the Psychiatry department cause that stuff just needs an extra work to do get it official and there won't be much change in my routine since I'm already functional. Good to hear about your son in law getting control over it. Cheers!
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