Becoming That Right Person.

A sad event recently occurred in my country. We lost a great musician, who have impacted the lives of lots of persons to domestic violence. Based on recent findings, it turned out that she has been suffering for years in silence, and no one knew that she was going through all that. Even her mentors and those she considered as spiritual leaders had no either that was passing through all these, till she died as a result to a blow in the chest which she received from her spouse.


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Currently, everyone in the country is advocating that justice be served. Members of the house of representatives, and law firms are all taking up the case to ensure that the woman gets justice. As expected, most motivational writers, and relationship experts have published some write-up about the event, advising that we shouldn't rush into marriage, but rather to insure that the spouse is the right person for you before getting married to him/her.

I have seen couple of posts like that all through last week, and it made me to ask lots of questions. Each and everyone of us is on the look out for the right person. Regardless of if it's a romantic relationship or any other form of relationship in our lives, we all pray that we meet the right person who will make that journey easier for us. Although we keep praying and wishing for the "right person", we have never stopped to ask ourselves if we are the "right person" for someone else.

If I ask you, my dear reader, what you expect from "the right person", you can, off heart, list out all that you expect from him or her based on your needs. But have you ever stopped to ask yourself questions like "Am I the right person? Do I fit in to my own criteria? Am I the kind of person someone hopes to meet as the "right person"?

It is important that we ask ourselves this question, because if we don't, we will keep shifting blames and responsibilities to someone else, requesting that the right person condoles our excesses while we expect them to be their perfect self. Also, if everyone is expecting to meet the right person, and yet we all fail to make ourselves "right", who will then be the "right person" we will finally meet.

The saying is true; when the right person meets the wrong person, just like the law of sign multiplication states, the result will be "wrong". Therefore, it is important that while we look out for the right person, we strive to develop and shape ourselves into the right person that we are expecting. This way, there will be lots of "right persons" in and around us, and we will in general become a better community.

We all have a moral conscience, we all have the ability to choose between right and wrong. Also, we can tell the difference between the two. The rule of conscience states that if you know something that you won't like someone to do to you, do not do it to another person. If we can hold on to this basic principle we will find ourselves daily becoming the "right person".

I once had a conversation with a friend, and she described the kind of man she hoped to get married to. In her list includes, God fearing, caring, loving, a man who can spend on her, who won't hurt her, a man who is financially stable, owns a car and so forth. I had to suggest to her that she should also make a list alongside the previous one and in it list out all the things she has to offer a man who will bring all these to the table.

Never forget the saying, "Who you are is who you attract". Don't expect to meet a Queen or a King (ie a right person) when you are not one. Strive to become the best version of yourself, and automatically, you will attract to yourself people who are best versions of themselves that will complement you.

It's important that we realise that sometimes life doesn't provide us with immediate results of our good deeds or self development. But one thing is certain, we receive immediately, an inner peace and the feeling of fulfilment that comes each time we do the right things.

We get this feeling of fulfilment in small things such as like cleaning our rooms, or completing a task. If we can get fulfilled in little things like this, how much more will we feel each night as we go to bed knowing fully well that we did the best that we could on every situation we handled during the day. It's definitely a great feeling.

Also, do not expect that everyone you meet as you carry out your day to day activities will be the right people. It is too much to expect that from more than 6 billion people on earth. There is a reason why it is called "personal development" not "general development". The process of the development is on a personal level, same with the achievements that come with it.


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Nonetheless, even though you don't have control over the type of people you meet, but you can control the quality of people you let into your life. Let your yardstick be your moral values. If your moral values doesn't jive with theirs, don't keep them so close to you, because bad companies corrupt good morals.

If they can contribute to your life positively, and you as well contribute to their own life positively, then keep them close to you. They may no be completely perfect, but if they are willing and striving to grow, keep them safe because they are your "right people".

Read, Ponder, Love.

© whileponderin