Cougars, Not Kittens - The Sexualization of Children

This article will discuss the sexualization of young children through a breakdown of one of my favorite songs by Whores. “Cougars Not Kittens” from their Clean EP. As with any artistic media, these are my own opinions and thoughts from listening to the song. Listen Here:

Cougars, Not Kittens on Spotify

First a little bit about the band Whores. Originating out of Atlanta, Georgia Whores. is a Noise Rock/Sludge Metal band with deep Doom Metal influences. They tend to have dark themes and convey feelings of angst, hopelessness, and obviously doom. A relatively new band, their discography consist of 2 EPs( Ruiner 2011 and Clean 2013) and their debut album Gold 2016.

Cougars, Not Kittens

I’ve had enough. I need someone to pick me up off my knees. I haven’t got it in me to say please. You’re tired of living. You’re going to die covered in disease

To me, the title seemed obvious. Cougars being a slang term for attractive single older women. I can’t say what age cut off it would be, mostly because I don’t care for that kind of specificity in this case. While I have to admit I have never heard of anyone describe young girls as Kittens (But what do I know? I live in the south and I have never seen a MAGA hat in real life either…); however, I have seen the infamous Cat-Girls. I am sure most of the younger population of this site may know what I am referring to having seen at least the memes. For those of you who don’t, they tend to be cute anime girls in lewd clothing wearing faux cat ears, and sometimes a sort of tail… often doubling and a buttplug… This has grown and evolved into real live models.

The opening lines of this song, seem to be from the point of view of a Cougar, who is tired of the games and dating in society. She is successful and driven and isn’t looking for someone who will give her a life, but someone to share and grow that life with. She doesn’t need a saviour, and she definitely doesn’t want a master. Next is a reference to Dom/Subs in BDSM play. In recent years I have seen a surge on some social media sites of an offshoot of the Dom/Sub culture. The Daddy/Little Girl culture off DD/lg. Often these accompany pictures and Gifs of younger looking women in begging positions and often caption with, “Say yes please.”

The intro goes on to the effect this has on the woman, making her tired of it, and the lyrics suggest she is doing one of two things. The first being that she is tired of living the life and instead kills the desire to form a real connection and instead falls into meaningless sex with different partners. The second, and the one I feel is a better interpretation is a warning. That in the end, your pseudo-sexual liberation will be your undoing.

Now don’t get me wrong. I am not some prude or moral crusader. I hate abstinence programs, and sex ed should no longer be shied away from by parents and schools (though I hate the public indoctrination I mean education system). As someone who once was a teenager, more than likely your kids will have sex when they are teenagers. So put aside your own moral biases and teach them sex ed that could help truly empower them. As a teenage boy, I was pressured into sex by my girlfriend. Now, I am not going to lie and say I didn’t want to have sex with her, but if she hadn’t made the first move, I might not have. Despite not having a condom, I got lucky, and we didn’t have a kid. Even better news since we quickly ended our relationship. I also don’t mean to belittle people who are part of the BDSM culture. While with the right person I do enjoy some bondage play - as both a Dom and Sub. A varied sexual appetite and life are great builders of relationship and trust, and I personally could care less what consensual activities people take part in. What I do have a problem with is further explored in this song.

Cougars, not kittens
Mouths filled with teeth

In the chorus, we could take it as another further warning, or even a pleading of sorts from the woman to the men of society. It could possibly be the singer/songwriter’s (Christian Lembach) own pleading to men. Go for the women with their shit together. The strong women. Women who don’t take shit, and bare their teeth filed down with the bones of the weaker men before. Of course, the obvious imagery being that children lose their baby teeth as they mature.

Our society has always seemed to be highly influenced by “the Powers that Shouldn’t Be” (governments, media, corporate agencies) as to what is deemed sexual desirable. In the relatively distant past, skinny women were shunned, in favour of thicker women with the hourglass shape. Then in the recent past, the pendulum swung to the opposite - skinny women were in. Presently we see the pendulum swinging again with campaigns of big is beautiful and the newer thicc culture. The pendulum will always swing within generations, but to its detriment, TPTSB will take advantage of it. It is far easier to co-op movements than it is to grow your own through indoctrination. Half-truths are harder to see past than outright lies. Which are the biggest problems of the aforementioned social groups and activities. It goes for branches, not roots. In the end, these people, women and men both, are champion self-worth through the eyes of society. This is not a condemnation of these groups, but an observation. So long as you accept that society determines your self-worth, you will always be poor.

A more troubling issue I see presently is the over sexualizations of young people in media. Specifically women, but do you think the boys of 1 Direction or Justin Bieber or whoever comes next weren’t and aren’t and won’t be sexualized? The blind lead the blind and they will both fall into the pit. It isn’t a new issue. When I was in JR High Lindsay Lohan met the same fate. And I was manipulated as well. To be fair she is older than me, so I don’t feel as bad about it. Maybe I should. But I had a huge crush on her. We saw how that turned out for her, what is less clear is how it turned out for me? I have never been great at relationships, mostly due to my own immaturity. But even now being single for the better part of 4 years (having only one sexual encounter within the last 4), I see relationship drama from my friends and even strangers on the street and my desire to try is chipped away at (though, it is something I continue to work on.) I just don’t see women, that make me think this is worth it. Or relationships either for that matter. I have to wonder, is it just me or part of my conditioning (again something I constantly try to overcome.) Consider the abysmal rates of divorce in the US. The multiple divorces individuals go through as well. Something seems fishy… and that genuinely wasn’t meant to be a pun...

We have Britney Spears suffering a similar fate to Lohan - though she seems to have moved passed it and by all accounts is a wonderful mother to her boys. Miley Cyrus has as well, but she is also embracing it in this new wave of sexual liberation. What it means for her, who can be certain. As young men and women we are bombarded with the sexualization of our genders and subversively told what we should find attractive and what should be sexually liberating.

But what of the men? Boys are often preyed upon by older women - and articles have a hard time calling the women rapist - and in extreme cases wind up paying child support to their predators. How does it affect boys growing up receiving this kind of programming? It is truly hard to say, as the focus of these conversations is nearly all about the message sent to young girls. Just another layer of divide and conquer.

Paedophilia also seems to be on the rise, though more than likely is further scare tactics and fear mongering. It is worthy to note that as we sexualize younger and younger boys and girls, there could be a correlation - not a causation.

I know where you go. And I know how you get down on your knees. I haven’t got it in me to say please. You’re tired of living. You’re going to die covered in disease

The next lines of the song revisit the previously mentioned issue. And while you could say we have switch back or continued from the point of view of the woman, I have to wonder if another layer has been added to that. If we continue from the PoV of the woman, we could say she is giving out the same warning through her experience. Maybe when she was younger, she was just like these girls. She did the same thing, she was the same way, but it gets old. Eventually, you cannot be that person anymore and then what? All this sexual liberation and what have you got to show for it? A bond or deep connection? To me, there is a difference between the sentiments sexual liberation and free love. The keywords being sex vs love.

However, I have to wonder if another layer is being added on to this, or even unintentionally escaping the subconscious. If not from the woman’s perspective, whose? TPTSB? Who know you, the porn sites you visit, and the lewd photos you send? Who quantify and list your sexual deviations the same as Communist Regimes and Fascist Governments. Authoritarian regimes are all the same. Whatever their end goal is, maybe it is taking to long. So they are going to speed things up in the manipulation department. Though interpretation of this layer may be a stretch, it is worth thinking about.

Cougars, not kittens
Mouths filled with teeth
My wrists are still bleeding
But my heart still beats

Continuing into the chorus again we still hear the pleading of cougars, not kittens. Now, though the existential crisis is beginning to set in. The woman is dying - and by proxy, you are dying. Again what was all that sexual liberation for? By falling in line with the sexual manipulation, we are killing ourselves. Sexual Liberation has become self-defeating.

A more contextual interpretation is that while the woman is older and she is still very much alive, and still can love. The heart is the symbol of love after all.

I hope this breaks your heart

As we get to the end there is a wish. The things discussed here should break your heart. Maybe if I did a better job, it might. More importantly, seeing the crumbling of relationships and gender relations should break your heart. 12-year-old girls singing subversive songs about love and dancing on stage for millions of people - mostly other young girls should break your heart. Seeing young boys preyed upon and told they were lucky to have been chosen should break your heart. It all should break your fucking hearts.

Cougars, not kittens
Those kids just can’t see

The song ends, again with one final plea, and a statement of fact. Children are not equipped to think about what they are seeing. And as adults, we often refuse to see it. The Manipulation. It is everywhere. You can’t avoid it. You can only acknowledge it and ask, “To what end?”

Earlier I stated I didn’t know about the age limitations of a cougar, and that I didn’t care. That was a half-truth. The fact is, maturity is not about age. (And the themes of this song break through to all groups, men or women, straight or gay, and whatever new thing is in vogue. It ignores superficial similarities of groups. The way out of social manipulation is Individuality.) Maturity is about personal responsibility, the strength of your own will and self-image, and it is about personal growth. You can date people younger than you (within goddamn reason, so miss me with that shit.) You don’t have to be abstinent. You have to be mature, act with reason and empathy. You have to love. Most of all we need Honesty, with ourselves and with others.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I would say I hope you enjoyed it, but really you shouldn’t. The more I wrote this the more my own reason shrunk and was over shadowed by emotion. I am not entirely sorry for that, but I do try to balance the two as they are equally important. I would love any feedback or criticisms in the comments. Whether or not you agree with me I want to hear your thoughts. Again, thank you.