My 2017 Achievements and Failures

My 2017 @anomadsoul

My 2017 actually began in the summer of 2016 when the love of my life was told that after battling prostate cancer for 10 years, it had progressed to the point that nothing more could be done and he had 6 months left to live.

From that moment on, time has all run together into one continuous stream of raw emotion for me.

By fall, it was necessary to begin hospice care. They came in for about 15 minutes a few times a week and supervised and ordered all the necessary medications and health care supplies. And we had a health care worker who came in and helped with baths and personal care twice a week, but for 6 months it was just he and I, learning together what it means to die of cancer. And we had no idea how awful it would be.

I have MS and for years he had been my care giver. He assured me that it was never a problem to haul my mobility scooter in and out of the car, and we traveled the USA together, and although time ran out before we got to all the places we wanted to go, we got to see an incredible amount of the country.

There may have been some concern from our family and friends that caring for him would be beyond my capabilities, but we proved otherwise. Our kids were all marvelous and helped and were here as often as they could be.

We moved a hospital bed into the living room, and I did not leave the house from September until he died at the end of January. Although it was the hardest thing I ever did, I could not have felt more honored that he wanted me by his side and trusted me through it all.

Coping with grief and all the adjustments I have had to make without him has filled the rest of my year. He left a huge hole in my life and in my heart.

I have probably failed in lots of ways this year, but I made it through. And there were lots of momentous events...my son got married and I have a wonderful new daughter-in-law.

I am so thankful that I found Steem and all of you! It has truly given me a reason to get out of bed in the morning. When I share my photos with you, I am re-living all my wonderful memories, and that is helping me move forward. I debated about writing, and then about sharing this, but I have learned so much about life this past year, and I wanted to thank you all for helping me through it.