Thank you! Thank you very much!! You're too kind, really. I appreciate all of you, thank you. Everyone up top, much thanks! Everyone in the back, I see you out there, thank you.

20 years ago I never imagined myself accepting this award. It wasn't intentional. Not like I planned it. I just did what I do. But I humbly accept. Thank you!

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More importantly, I'd like to thank myself because let's face it, without me, it never happened.

Thank you, @dandays.

With pleasure, @dandays.

In the 20 years the Kardashians have been on TV, I never watched a single episode.

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Awkward Transition

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Creon, ever hear of it? Pharmaceutical grade digestive enzyme extracted 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 from pig pancreas. Bacon, ham, chorizo, Creon.

The pancreas produces digestive enzymes responsible for breaking down the foods you consume. It tells the rest of your digestive system what a protein is so it doesn't mistake it for sugar, for example, as well as produce insulin to balance blood sugar levels or what fat content is in comparison to vitamins. Life threatening stuff.

When the pancreas stops producing those enzymes, it can no longer differentiate between foods and appropriate nutrients. That's called Pancreatitis, a deadly disease that ranges in severity from acute to cancer. A dude named Steve Jobs died from pancreatic cancer.

One day the pancreas says everything's a protein and the next it says everything's sugar which throws the body into a natural defense and begins systematically shutting down organs not pertinent to survival. That's called a pancreatic attack.

Pura's chronic. It's necessary I know these things. Random photo of a Joshua tree in the town where I grew up.

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Creon (carnitas). At the turn of the 20th century, experimental pancreas extraction first began with dogs. That didn't work. Neither did cows or chickens. Neither did any other lab experiments.

Out of all of the farm animals humans stuff in their face, it was discovered in 1924 by a pair of Nobel Peace Prize recipients, Frederick Banting and John Macleod, a pig pancreas most resembles a human pancreas. Another random photo.

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There is no substitute. Any attempt to produce a generic form of Creon is deemed unlawful by the FDA. At an average cost of $1,100 per 90 capsules, each capsule has a shelf value of around $12. Majority of insurances won't cover it.

Someone with chronic pancreatitis can potentially enjoy a meal pain free without any digestive issues by consuming 2-3 capsules per meal. At $12 each, that same someone quickly begins altering their food intake. 2-3 capsules per meal, 4-5 meals a day is an expensive tab.

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Less Awkward Transition

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Alright, so I'm at the pharmacy one day picking up a prescription of 150—20 day supply. It isn't the pharmacists fault, she just works there. She has no stake in this. I asked her how often a patient can not afford their medication. "At least once a day."

She said the worst is when a diabetic patient can't afford their insulin, "sometimes it's all I think about."

Pancreatic enzymes assist food digestion for someone suffering from pancreatitis. Insulin's a little different. Too much or too little, you die.

Like water.

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When I heard about the Kardashians injecting type 2 diabetic insulin to lose weight, I barfed in my mouth a little bit.

Hollywood uses what 11% of society considers life or death as weight control. Not sure how much more bɒcʞward we can be. Someone who, due to status, benefits from a routine medical procedure and loses a few pounds before spring to fit in a backless Chanel while someone else who, due to status, loses their life because they couldn't afford the procedure.

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