*Names have been changed.
My first ever foray into the call center world began with telePerformax’s ePal account.
telePerformax is a US-based call center with an office in the Philippines. They screw their employees over, true, but looking beyond that, they're actually quite good. I for one owe this company a lot. Everything I needed to know about my later jobs – even the job I now have – began with what I first learned in the training rooms and production floor of this great call center.
English skills? I honed them not in college Comm 3 class but in telePerformax’s DIET program. Customer service? I used to joke about mind control over IP. But it was in telePerformax’s soft skills training that I learned about customer rapport and first call resolution.
Professionalism at work? There was plenty of competition, some of it bordering on the malicious, but there it was in telePerformax where I learned to treat my colleagues with respect and to abide by company policy and to not be offensive for crap, all as a function of the fact that I love my job. And I did, too. I didn’t know any better. It was my first one.
The following call is one that more or less captures the challenges of the work I did for telePerformax.
📲 ️💻 😡
“Thank you for calling ePal. My name is Karlo. May I have the phone number on the account, please?”
“801-457-1797.”
“Thank you. Whose name is the account under?”
“Alexander Manson.”
“And will you please confirm the last four of your social, Alexander?”
“It’s 2580. And I’m Gregor. I just put my cousin’s name on it.”
“Oh. I do apologize for that. How can I help you, sir?”
“That credit card listed – it’s the Discover card ending in 4256, and I ain’t giving you the whole thing.”
(Cutting in.) “I can appreciate that, Gregor.”
“Sure you can. Well, it got overdrawn! Card’s got a $1,500 top on it and my bill says you tried to make a purchase of over…jesus, it says here $1,892.65!”
“I hear you. Let me have a look.”
“Sure. Look, Carly, I thought our ePal purchases are coming off our other account, the one under my name. It’s got my MasterCard listed on it. It should be so simple: payments to Gregor’s account, purchases off Alex’s. You didn’t have to mix it up—well, not you, personally, but—”
“No, I got that, Greg. It’s nothing personal.”
(Droning on.) “I mean how hard is it, you know? It’s never happened before. Every time I made a purchase, it was coming through on my MasterCard. Every time I made a sale, it was coming through on my Discover. I sign up for an ePal account because some Filipino girl conned me into it; three months after that, I get fucked! Now my bank wants me to pay a couple hundred for overdraft. I ain’t eating that shit, man. This is all ePal.”
“I hear your aggravation, Greg. Were you aware which account you were using to make a purchase and which account you put out where people can pay you?”
“Aware of what? Of course I am! They’re my cards. Duh!”
“Sure. But when you buy something online and you’re asked to sign on your ePal account, do you know which account you're signing into?”
“No, and does it matter? That’s why I put in both of my cards on both accounts.”
“Well, it does. See, your account has the Discover as the primary card with the MasterCard as secondary. The Alexander account has it in reverse.”
“Yeah…?”
“If you make purchases by signing on your account, it’s the Discover that’s getting drawn. If your intent was to have purchases go off the MasterCard, you should use the Alexander account since it's the one with the MasterCard listed as primary.”
(Beat) “Well, how would I have known?"
"It's actually on the sign-up form, Gregor."
"I know that! Damn print’s too small and it’s all probably legalese anyway.”
“Your info says you set up your account online. I was referring to the website where you signed up. It asked for a primary and secondary card. The primary one would be used for all transactions. The secondary one would serve as a backup in case something happened to the first bank. I reiterate that the Gregor account has the Discover set as the primary, therefore it's the Discover getting charged when you log in on your account.”
“Well, shit. That’s one hell of a mix-up. I mean it shouldn’t be this complicated. Some people may be OK with having one card for everything else, but I’m running a business here. I have to keep my personal expenses separate. That’s why I got two cards. One is mine and the other one’s for my store.”
“Sorry about that mix-up. Would you like to switch the cards around? If the purchases are supposed to come off the MasterCard….”
“I’ll remember that the MasterCard is on the Alex account and that’s what I’m going to use to buy stuff going forward. Still ain’t giving you my card numbers. And if I have to switch them around, I can do that on my own, right?”
“Of course.”
“Of course.”
“Would that be all, Gregor?”
“Do I get any credit for any of this? It’s been quite a mill. And then there’s that bank charge.”
“I’m sorry, but that’s between you and your bank. You did sign up for your accounts by yourself.”
“But how was I to know?”
“The print was clear enough on the website so surely you must have read that. And you’re getting bank statements every month. I see here that you never used your Discover account to field in any payments, so I imagine your statement would pretty much look the same, mostly charges. The first two months you were getting statements that showed your Discover was being charged, you could have called us. There was no need to wait for you to get charged for overdraft. Right?”
(Not really listening.) “No, no, that’s not it. Look, can I get someone else on the line?”
“No, unfortunately. You've reached my personal extension. We agents don’t have the facility to transfer to each other, and I see there are no available agents anyway.”
“Well, transfer me to your supervisor, then. He’ll have time for me.”
(Stayed on hold for 15 minutes while sipping on my iced tea bottle. The sup queue usually lasted 5 minutes only, but I kept on refreshing my hold time by picking up Gregor’s line, dropping it in 0.1 seconds, and rejoining the sup queue.)
“I’m afraid he’s not available, Gregor.”
“What?
"I said he's not available."
"I can hear you! What do you mean he’s not available?”
“Exactly what I said, sir.”
“Don’t you play smartass on me, Carly!”
“Honestly, Gregor, I don’t know what you’re upset about.”
“You don’t? How about I’m confused about how I got drawn when I bought stuff? How about I’m getting charged $250 because my accounts got mixed up?”
“Again, you were the one who set up your accounts, your overdraft is between you and your bank, and you could have called us when you got your first statement that showed you were using the wrong card.”
“And now you tell me that your supervisor isn’t available? Who’s the next person above him that’s available?”
“That would be our ops manager, and I already checked. She’s not available either. I also went around the other teams if their supervisors are available, but—”
“Unbelievable! What is this, a bunch of lunatics running the asylum?”
“Now, now. Let’s please not use that language. If you’re upset about this and nothing I’m saying is helping you, you’re welcome to call back. Our hours of operation are 8:00 A.M. Eastern till 12:00 A.M. Pacific.”
“Why you--! Where am I even calling?”
“I’m sorry, sir, but you’re cutting in and out.” (He wasn’t. I was just hedging.)
“I’m what?”
“You’re breaking up, sir.”
“What the hell are you talking about, I’m breaking up? I’m disintegrating?”
(Audible sigh. As per the QAs.) “Your line is unclear, man.”
(Shouting.) “Now that’s a load of bullshit, don’t you think! You’re hearing me OK! Now…. Where! Are you! LOCATED?!”
“Sorry, Greg, but we don’t disclose our location for security reasons.”
“Oh, I thought you wouldn’t! What, am I calling India or something?”
“Again, we don’t disclose.…”
“Sure, sure, Vijayawada. I’m calling back to ask for a supervisor.”
“Thank you for calling ePal.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
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