Another Round of Filipino Jokes Translated

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This is another post about Filipino jokes translated for Western audiences.

Translating most of these local Filipino Jokes to be funny for Western folks isn't easy. Sure, you could translate them right away but they would be less funny if they would be too culture-specific. I have translated some words and changed localized Filipino names of these jokes just to cater to Western audiences and some may not even be that funny to Western ears when in English. These jokes are best discussed in the Filipino language for the humorous impact.

Hot Money

Anna was a pretty and damn hot, sexy girl and she was smart. One day she went out at night to buy groceries but was robbed along the way. Thankfully, the robber never got any money out of her and left quickly because she placed the hundred dollar bill inside her panties before going out!

Feeling relieved, she proceeded to buy groceries in a nearby store. Anna tried to pay for the goods at the counter with the hundred dollar bill which she secretly kept inside her panties.

CASHIER: I'm sorry we don't accept fake cash.

Anna was surprised. Fake??? Anna took a deep, closer look at the hundred dollar bill and was shocked:

The hero's face on the bill had a tongue sticking out!

Drunk Too Long

GIRLFRIEND: I feel sorry for my ex-bofriend!
BOYFRIEND: Why? What Happened?
GIRLFRIEND: : I heard he's been drinking for the last 7 years since we broke up!
BOYFRIEND: Wow, that's the longest drinking celebration ever!

The Illness

TEACHER: Why were you absent from school?
JOHN: I'm sorry...Ma'am. I have a CARDIOVASCULAR DISEASE!
TEACHER: Okay, spell the name of your disease!
JOHN: It's only a joke...I got the FLU!

Robbery

JOHN: You again! You already robbed me three times this year already!
ROBBER: That's business. We take care of good customers!

To Be Handsome

PETER: Doc, I wanna be handsome but I don't have the money for surgery! Is there a cheaper way?
PLASTIC SURGEON: There is a way...
PETER: What??? How?
PLASTIC SURGEON: Try to blend in with people uglier than you...In that way, you will be more good-looking than the rest of them!

The Mail

Meanwhile in a mental institution...

PATIENT: Doc, it's so lonely in here that I wrote myself a letter!
DOCTOR: Oh, what did the letter say?
PATIENT: I don't know. But it is going to arrive next week!

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Sources: http://www.pinoyfailblog.com/2013/10/100-best-pinoy-jokes-of-all-time-41-50.html

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