I’m reminded of a popular steemian that publishes poetry so obtuse and laden with words so difficult you need to look up in a dictionary every other line. The content is so confusing, obscure, unrelated and terribly incomprehensible I struggle to get through more than two stanzas before drifting into boredom. I would call it “bad poetry.” The bar for poetry is low. Any stream of consciousness careless word vomiter can disgorge their lyrics.
I think I know who you're talking about. I'm surprised you can get through two stanzas. I can't. And, I suspect it is deliberate, an attempt to sound intellectually profound. But as Freud never said, "Sometimes baloney ... is just baloney." :-)
Yet, I've edited this very post ten times already, and return frequently to my own work sneaking in changes because I'm compelled to. Maybe it is my attempt to earn your votes, and the right to complain.
Editing ... that's the key. Vicious, vicious editing. Should it be "a" or "the" ... and then changing it a hundred times. I have a process I call "curing" (like curing meat). I write a poem, and edit it, until I think it's perfect. Then, I don't look at it for a week. When I go back, sure enough, there's the flaws.
The problem is I fall in love with what I'm writing and I begin to see it through rose-colored glasses. A certain line I think is genius, or a certain turn of phrase I'm desperate to preserve. In a week, I've forgotten the lies I told myself to prevent having to do what has to be done. Change it.
"Damn, that doesn't flow. That sounds forced. This just does not segue well enough."
Personally, I wouldn't have chosen Ezra Pound as my mentor ... I'm a little "older school" than that. But what's important is that you've decided to study poetry. Most poets don't understand anything about the neuroscience that occurs when people read a poem. It's not just about "The way you want to say it," it's also about, "The way they need to hear it."
If you're curious, I expound at some length upon the issue in a couple of my articles (they're linked together). I'd love to hear your thoughts.
https://steemit.com/poetry/@quillfire/would-this-make-a-good-nike-ad-the-power-of-poetic-advertising
BTW: It's nice what you're doing for that girl in Thailand. I stumbled upon your comments and decided to check out your feed. One of my complaints about Steemit is how many people turn into groveling sycophants in the comment sections of posts. I would far rather receive honest feedback and constructive criticism, that a re-phrasing of my words followed by insincere blathering about my brilliance.
Thank you for your comment! I agree, "baloney is just baloney. " I want to shout with force of belief that sometimes speaking plainly so your readers can connect with you is more important that sounding smart.
I'm all for using the appropriate words, but not so obscure as to be incomprehensible.
Yay editing! So true.
I hear what you mean about falling in love with what you've written. Someone said about editing, "kill your darlings." We have to chop up our efforts and slice them apart to make them better. I think we forget that we're not only writing for ourselves, we're writing for other people to read our stuff and accept our images. We write to show others what we see/feel/experience and what we read as clear others may not. Our efforts should craft our language so it is received well. That means our convoluted word flow and image may not be effective and needs to change no matter how attached we've become to it. Good point!
By older school do you mean Romantics? Shakespearean? lyrical like troubadours? spoken heroic couplets for the oral tradition? Maybe Donne? Yeats?
Pound is an accessible starting point; I think the doorway for today's poetry. We fight attention, video, gifs, art, porn so diverse every fantasy is a few clicks away. Our words have to overcome all that dopamine (yes, poetry can work as Nike ads) , it has to produce MOAR dopamine than readers get elsewhere. Pound is great because he is merciless and were most people to follow his rules poetry would be so much more meaningful and relatable.
After we move through Pound, I think we can move deeper into structure, sensation, and sound.
I'm not sure what you see me doing for "that girl in Thailand." My goal is to exploit my training at university for the benefit of others. Maybe talking about an explication?
Oh god yes. The sycophantic simpering drives me nuts. I feel bad being critical sometimes, but I honestly do it in the hopeful affectionate goal that it helps them improve.
HAHAHA, "insincere blathering about my brilliance!" Feels good for a few times, then when nothing of substance is said you're like, "huh? did you even read it?"
Thanks again!