The Well

I didn’t understand.
In my confusion, I would lay in bed.
Trying to sleep my depression away.
I couldn’t tell if I was coming or going.
He told me he still loved me.
He told me he would call me.
But the absence of his actions created a black hole in my heart.

I thought our love was great.
You promised to be by my side forever.
But now I was lost in your unmade plans.
Tears I refused to let fall.
Convincing myself that I was not at a loss,
But on the verge of some romantic reunion.

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Denial I thought was stopping the wound.
If I had walked away then,
The blood would keep pouring out.
Nobody thinks you could die of a broken heart but I do.

He never knew how much I loved him.
I was his fool dangling from his web.
He would never cry for me.
Never fight to have me back.

But I convinced myself this was just my greatest fear.
He was just trying to get his act together,
He didn’t want to hurt me,
The way he hurt me when we were together.
Alas a lie but an astringent for my consciousness.

I shoved the truth into a quick note.
Scratched the words into the tender paper,
Scrunched it up and threw it down the well.
There it was buried until something could shake me,
Into a new existence.
But for now I will save myself,
Until I am ready to face the truth.
In a few months someone will wake me,
To a better reality.
A reality where another could show me the love I deserved.

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