Cocks? Glocks? ...What?
In May, 2015, the Texas legislature passed S.B. 11, better known as the "Campus Carry" bill. It states that all public institutions of higher education in the state must allow the carry of concealed handguns on campus by people licensed by the state to carry a handgun. The law took effect a few weeks ago on August 1st. This has spawned one of the best protests, although completely ineffectual, that I've ever seen.
From The Guardian
The Campus (Dildo) Carry movement began last year when Jessica Jin, a University of Texas alum, organised a protest aiming to satirise the apparent absurdity of weapons being allowed on campus but not the showing of sex toys, which arguably contravenes university rules and a state law against displays of obscene items.
Jin did a little research and found that the display of dildos was against UT policy, and apparently state law as well (I don't feel like trying to find the actual law against the display of dildos), so she organized an event on Facebook to protest with dildos. Jin still runs the "Cocks not Glocks" protests today, and they have given out over 5000 free dildos at UT over the last few days. The dildos were all donated by local sex shops. Have I used the word "dildo" enough times in this paragraph? Dildo.
In response to these protests, Students for Concealed Carry, a nationwide organization of college students, faculty and staff who support concealed carry on college campuses, had this to say:
Students for Concealed Carry Embraces UT Dildos
AUSTIN, TX – In keeping with the organization’s long-held position that individuals should enjoy the same rights on college campuses as virtually everywhere else, Students for Concealed Carry fully endorses the burgeoning movement of Texas college students who wish to openly carry oversized dildos on campus. Brian Bensimon, SCC director for the state of Texas, commented, “If carrying a phallus to class helps you express yourself, go for it. We welcome this demonstration that freedom of speech and concealed carry of handguns can coexist on the same campus.”
SCC does recommend, however, that students use their dildos for political or recreational purposes only. Using a dildo as a defensive weapon could classify it as a “club,” which, under Texas law, is illegal to carry in public and constitutes a felony if carried into a building on campus. Bensimon added, “Although SCC’s opinion shouldn’t be taken as legal advice, we feel that Texas students are on pretty solid legal ground as long as they use their dildos only as expressions of free speech or for the manufacturers’ intended purpose.”
That press release is what inspired me to write this post. It's beautiful and perfect. And hilarious.
The Gun/Dildo Alliance at UT-Austin
A little bit of history
Texas' worldwide reputation of being full of gun-toting hillbillies isn't actually fair. The state banned carrying handguns, concealed or open, outside of the home way back in 1871. That ban, and many other oppressive gun laws that are still on the books from that time in our country's history, was rooted in fear of freed slaves having guns. It's very confusing to me that a lot of the people arguing for civilian disarmament today are those whose ancestors were severely oppressed throughout history. It's also worth noting that those who pass the laws banning citizens the means to put themselves on an equal footing with an attacker are virtually drowning in armed security. Many times the laws they pass make exceptions for themselves. Ironically, that's the opposite of how it's supposed to be.
Texas first passed the law for licensed concealed carry in 1995, after nearly 125 years of banning the practice. According to this article from The New York Times, by the end of 1996, there were 113,640 active licenses in the state. From the same article, as of April 30th of this year, there were 1,017,618 people with a valid license to carry a handgun, or LTC, but the author doesn't quote a source. The Texas Department of Public Safety, which is the agency that actually issues the licenses, lists 937,419 active licenses as of December 31st, 2015. This is out of a current estimated population (based on slightly higher and lower numbers from the census and other sources) of around 27,500,000 people, meaning that less than 4% of the population of Texas is licensed to carry a handgun outside of their homes or places of business. It is legal for anyone not otherwise prohibited from possessing a firearm to have one or more in their car, but they cannot legally carry it on their person outside of the vehicle, except to get between their vehicle and their home or place of business.
As is the case every time a state considers oppressing firearm freedoms a little less expanding firearm freedoms for its citizens, there are always cries of shootouts at intersections and blood in the streets, and usually a reference to the Wild West thrown in for good measure. This has yet to be the case. Statistically, concealed carry licensees are one of the safest and most law-abiding groups of people. That link shows the 2015 conviction rates of Texas LTC holders compared to the rest of the population of the state, represented as a percentage of total convictions, for a whole host of different crimes. The rates are so low as to barely be mentionable. This remains true even when compared to police.
As for the "blood in the streets' arguments, as more and more states have passed laws allowing their citizens to carry handguns in public, the national crime rate has steadily fallen. Correlation not being causation, I'm not making the claim (and neither is anyone else who knows what they're talking about) that crime has fallen on account of more people carrying guns, only that more people carrying guns has not led to the plethora of murders in the streets that we were all told would happen should we be allowed to arm ourselves. There is an argument that more guns equals less crime. Even the most critical arguments against that theory can only conclude that more legally carried guns has no discernible impact, either way, on violent crime (That conclusion is buried in that link, but it's there, in plain English). Why, then, would government still want to disarm you?
What does all this mean for UT?
Enrollment for UT last year was just under 51,000 students. I imagine it's about the same for this year. By UT's own estimate, less than 1% of their students have licenses to carry. I have no idea how they came up with that number, but that means maybe 500 students have licenses to carry. Maybe. So for a student who lives and spends most of his or her time on the campus, he or she (or zhe) might be in the presence of a few legally concealed handguns out of a possible 500ish. The UT campus is big. Just under 1440 acres big. With 150 buildings. Every student isn't on campus all day every day. If you were to walk around randomly on the campus, it's actually more likely than not that no one around you has a gun. Compare that to walking around anywhere else in the city, any city, with the thousands of known license holders carrying legally, and the unknown number of people carrying illegally, and you're far less likely to encounter someone with a gun on campus.
Basically, this whole thing is much ado about nothing. As has been proven time and again. For perspective, the state capitol building in Austin, which sits only about a mile from the UT campus, allows concealed carry. There's even an express lane through security for license holders to avoid waiting in line with all the kids on field trips. There are even a few anti-gun lobbyists who obtained their own license to bypass the line. Security considers you good to go, since the state has already run a background check on you.
I have a hard time understanding how people can be so afraid of freedom. Absurd, indeed.
I will say though, I hope this is all still going on in April when I go to Austin for MotoGP. Some friends and I are going to walk around UT with concealed handguns and open dildos. I've been needing a new twitter pic for a while now anyway.
"How a politician stands on the Second Amendment tells you how he or she views you as an individual... as a trustworthy and productive citizen, or as part of an unruly crowd that needs to be lorded over, controlled, supervised, and taken care of." - Suzanna Hupp
Don't mind me. I'm just being a dildo.
Odd, I've Never Been Accosted by a Handgun
Why would they be against handguns? They just rest where they're placed, unless someone picks it up.
Why Are Cop Coffee Shops Generally Safe From Robbery?
Someone goes crazy on psyche meds and starts shooting people? You want someone in the crowd who has, and knows how to use, a weapon. Nobody robs a shop filled with people trained to use guns. Not without a death wish, anyway.
1962, Rural Town USA
Probably 25% of the lockers in ELEMENTARY schools had various .22 rifles and small bore shotguns in them. Yes, during school and usually daily. Why? Because the 10yr olds were responsible for bringing home some food, if possible, on their way home from school each day.
What's changed?
Gee, kids aren't raised with guns and gun safety anymore. It's a tragedy and it regularly kills kids each year, when they're ignorant of gun safety and exposed to a gun.
Help Save the Children, Re-Legalize Personal Weapons
Oh shit..... I am gonna admit it. I really want to make a joke about doing open handguns and "concealed" dildos.... but I just worry it gets taken as a challenge lmao
Nice job @joshua! I hope this article of yours gets the attention it deserves.
Thanks! I hope it gets attention. Whether or not it is deserved is debatable.
Well, since almost no one gave a shit about this, I guess I'll wait until weed is legalized here in Texas so I can write somthing funny about the "Cunts and Blunts" protest/celebrations and see if that gets any attention.
So, since you made all of .60 cents for your work, you should probably post that image in the comments for shits & giggles. Be sure to #nsfw if you do. ;)
Wasn't anything crazy. Just one pic of college kids with a table full of free dildos, and another of obvious SJWs with strap-ons and dumb ass anti-gun signs.
One time ... at a bar ... I grabbed a dildo off a waitresses head ...