- Most people don't know the number position they were born in their family has influenced the way they live today. At least thats what I now know after studying books and watching family psychologist videos all-over the internet. They say the number position one was born in their life influences their personality. That means first born children have a certain way of living that is different from that of the middle children, twins, only children and last born children.
- I have already shared what I have learned from psychologist like Alfred Adler and Kevin Leman. The field is interesting to learn for it opens up our minds. Below are links to some of the posts I have already posted which are related to Birth Order:
i . First Born Children Character Traits
ii . Middle Born Children Character Traits
iii . Last Born Children Character Traits
In case you have no time to open this I will tell you what I have been sharing from the works of Adler and many professors with numerous Youtube videos. To define Birth Order- it is the placement of siblings in a family. For example there are 1st born, 2nd born, 3rd born to the last born. In the above articles I have also shared the family psychologist's view on who is first born, functional first born, middle born and last born. Now it is time for the unique only children whom Dr Leman calls the 'Lonely Onlies'.
The study of Birth Order is to see in advance how certain people will act like in future. By looking at you these Family Psychologist can tell you if you are first born or last born because of their researches.
Since I have already shared about the First Born, Second Born and Last Born children today is about the Only child character traits. I hope you will learn more from these psychological researches.
Who is defined as the only child according to Birth Order Psychologists:
1 . A child born alone without siblings(brothers and sisters).
2 . If someones’ sibling born before them is 7-10 or more years older than them.With this the new sibling will have the character traits of only child. According to Kevin Leman Barack Obama is a functional only child since his half-sister came after 9 years.
N.B. A functional only child is a child who is born with siblings(or a sibling) but the sibling born before him/her is 7-10 years older which automatically bring the child to have traits of the 'Only Child' since they cannot relate with their siblings in terms of age interests. As said in the First Born article a child who has an age difference of 5-6 years with the sibling born before them automatically will adopt the First Born character traits like the Functional Only child adopts if there is an age difference of 7-10 years.
Examples of famous people who qualified/qualify in the only child / functional only child category:
- Leonardo da Vinci
- Isaac Newton
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt
- Most nurses(They are either first born, functional first born, only child or functional only child
The 'Only Child' character traits according to psychologists:
1 . Perfectionists like the first born type but the ultras of the ultra perfectionists
They want to do the best always in life. They have bigger goals in life which they aim to perfect. Dr Kevin Lemans encourage them to lower their high jump in life so that they will not be stressed since life does not give us all we want at times.
2 .They do not enjoy criticism
People who are perfectionists do not like to be criticized in their lives. They work so hard to avoid criticism which might be dangerous for both first born children and the ‘lonely onlies’ as Dr Kevin Leman calls them. According to Kevin Leman to succeed the first born and the only child should aim for excellence rather than perfectionism. Perfection is not reachable since people who strive for it have fear.According to Dr Leman excellence is a worth goal to strive for.
3 . Since they are perfectionists they expect the best moral traits from others like the first born children
They seek perfection in all the things of life. According to Dr Leman these people can pick flaws in any situation since they only want a perfect world. From my own point of view flaw pickers are not at times good when associating with others. According to Dale Carnegie there is need to compliment others rather than criticize others when you see something they have done.Compliments built whilst criticism destroys. Perfectionism is good at times but may destroy some relationships we had with others via our criticisms on them since having it means we won't allow any wrongdoing.
4 . The ‘Lonely Onlies’ are analytics and love to ask questions
In other words they are curious and want to know more and more. When they ask you questions you may think they are silly but the truth is they really want to know. Since they are analytic they make good leaders in life.
5 . Most nurses are either first born or only child
Since they like to rescue everybody they may end up becoming nurses in life. The 'only child' loves the idea of helping everybody. They see themselves having some solutions to the problems that humans face which is a very good trait.
6 . Self- cultured
These guys know what they want in life and do away with what others think of them. They know they are responsible for their success and or failure and thats why they choose the lifestyle they live. When growing up they didn't have siblings who would watch over them or to copy from them. So their way of life is of their own creation.
7 . Attention seekers
According to Birth Order psychologists these guys enjoy being the center of attention. Mom and Dad gave them all the attention when they where still a child so they deserve it in their own minds. They are attention seekers to others because they are used to having family focusing on them but when others do not give it then they will have to work harder to get it.
Other traits in brief
Unhappy and unlikable than those who grew up with siblings - Some people may not like them because of their perfectionist character. Its hard for them to connect with their peers because they do not understand each other's needs well.
Do not understand why kids in other families fight.
They are little adults by age 7 or 8. Because they grew up with adults they behave like adults. They learn quickly the adult way of life.
They are the super or extreme versions of the first born character. The first born is a die-hard perfectionist who usually play with first borns/functional first borns only, expects others to be pure, driven to succeed, independent and are usually dressed good. The only child is far ahead than this. They perform at their best.
More comfortable with people who are older or those who are younger. They just do not get their peers probably because they are used to associating with older people than those of their age. They are most likely to associate well with youngsters as well.In short they rarely associate with those of same age.
High expectations of self- Like the 1st born type they are high achievers and will work hard to get what they want.
Cannot bear failing because they work hard to get where they want to be at.
They usually talk in extremes.
They are black and white thinkers as well.
Books are their best friends like the First Born character.Thats why they can achieve much greatness in life.
They are also cautious and fearful in life.
Self motivated to get what they want.Since they grew up alone they do not need others to boost them.
Works independently without expecting any help from others.
Conclusion
The 'Only Child' is a unique character. They are self -motivated to achieve greatness in their life. Independence and determination are some of their pillars. They are more like the First Born character. They work hard to achieve any thing they want. On the other hand perfection and fear affects them. It is encouraged to strive for excellence and not perfection in life to succeed. They must deal with the idea of expecting others to be morally upright always for complimenting builds whilst criticism destroys.
