When Chuck Norris came to me in a vision, post here, I had no idea his inspiration would spill over to others like the great @punchline who generously staked 10 Steem to make it a contest! He also sent me 5 Steem as a reward, of which I allocated 2 for follow up prizes. After tons of clever and funny entries, I've decided on my TOP 3 picks for the Steem prizes.
My criteria - whichever made me laugh out loud the most and continued to stand out over the week. I viewed each response as a separate entry and didn't consider who they were from. (Stop trying to protect our feelings and just get on with the results already.)
First Prize = 10 STEEM
"Chuck Norris never rapes the reward pool, he just makes sweet love with it." @dandesign86
So simple, so effective, such powerful imagery, such envy. Everyone wants to make sweet love with the reward pool, but carrying the honor of being eskimo brothers/sisters with Chuck would be crippling in weight. Dan knew what he was doing here and he beat me at my own game. This was also short and... sweet. Sigh... not intended.
Chuck will be calling your cell phone in the next 5 minutes to congratulate you. I wouldn't miss his call if I were you.
Second Prize = 1 STEEM
"If someone dares to flag Chuck Norris, the flag bounces back to the flagger as a punch in the face." @mightpossibly
This perfectly embodies Chuck's spirit. As silly as it sounds, this is completely believable and true. @idikuci was on the right track with his "Flags are afraid of Chuck Norris" line, but @mightpossibly's line got me to laugh more with the imagery. Well done for your first comedy contribution!
Third Prize = 1 STEEM
"Chuck Norris is so persuasive, that when he responds to a troll, they actually understand logic and reason." @hanzappedfirst
This pick was tough with so many other deserving entries, but I really liked the cerebral approach personally teasing us with false hope that trolls in their Mom's basement could finally become the butterflies they were all meant to be. My hopes are so high now, I might have to keep up this post series to avoid the withdrawal a life without Chuck Norris brings.
Honorable Mentions: EVERYONE for taking the time and putting in the effort to come up with great jokes, but @coruscate stood out with her first stab at comedy with:
"Chuck Norris doesn’t ask for your vote, he swims in the rewards pool and lets you keep whatever he splashes in your face."
Part of the terms and conditions of this contest were that your joke would forever be etched into your wallet history. Wear it as a badge of honor!
While I'm on the subject, here are a few Chuck Norris jokes that popped in to my head now... Some call it a blessing, some call it a curse...
- Depending on his environment, Chuck Norris' mullet can be business in the front and back OR party in the front and back at the same time.
- Chuck Norris is why @ned moved Steemit, Inc. to Texas.
- If Chuck Norris commented with "Nice post. Very informative. Upvote and follow pls.", you'd pass out from the honor.
Here's my Steemit Jeopardy contest post which has about a day left to enter.
Another recent Chuck Norris post for some laughs.
Thanks for participating and making Steemit more fun.
This is my favorite contest I have ever seen on this site. I'm sorry for making you struggle to choose only 3. Were there any that were right on the fence? Post them here and I'll send them a prize too. I will also up the prize on the other winners.
And you should really keep something for thinking of this. It was brilliant!
Thank you very much for the support, enthusiasm and generosity. Unmatched so far...
I also think I just got PTSD from having to reevaluate all of them again, but the two below were also on the on the top of my list
@thevillan - "Chuck Norris once followed someone, they left Steemit in fear."
@dj123: "When Chuck Norris does d.tube it wins the academy, golden-globe, and oscars and payments for copyrights goes straight into the Steem blockchain and feeds hungry children all over the world."
Sorry for the PTSD. But I think the two above will appreciate your efforts.
Amazing. No problem at all. They say you often dream about what you were thinking about before bed, so I'm in good shape for tonight!!
TMI!
You keep your dreams about you and Chuck Norris to yourself!
It'll be hard to top your favorite contest, but I tried to match it with another bearded legend we all know. Hope it does the trick for this week and gets more people aware of our comedy lounge.
haha I feel humbled ! I wasn't going to join at first because there where so many awesome entries already. But then my inner Chuck awakened and spoke to me and told me to grow some balls. Later I realized it was not Chuck's voice I heard but my wife's whisper.
This was an awesome competition and I'm looking forward to more to come !
Congratulations on 1st prize! Well deserved.
Thank you ! It was a lot of fun :)
It sure was:)
That was such an epic list of Chuck Norris/Steemit jokes!!! Haha Thanks for the honorable mention!
Your presence is cordially requested in my newest contest post. Take a gander and chip in when you have the chance.
This was incredible!
Hooray! I'm also very humbled, and I'll ride this wave this whole day for sure (never surfed in my life, btw)
Gotta say, I'm glad I didn't have to pick the winners -- so many great entries. Not to mention your own. All three above are also hilarious.
Steemit was actually designed to be the most efficient way for Chuck Norris to redistribute wealth after he acquired all FIAT currency.
When Chuck joined, the userbase went from 80% male to 0.0001% male.
Chuck is the best technical analyst in the world, his insights are considered 'insider trading' and he's been banned from sharing his knowledge in over 300 territories including steemit, the moon and mars. Conspiracy theorists believe he can manipulate the markets with his mind.
64% of all steemit traffic includes the string "@chucknorris".
12% "marry me"
2% "upvote pls"
22% other
People create steemit accounts just so they can say they upvoted Chuck, even if it is only $0.003
When he was a child, his first 4 steemit posts were rewarded with 300 upvotes per follower.
Ok, ok, you're good. Test passed and these are now on the blockchain for the real Chuck Norris to see and ultimately recruit you for private martial arts training. Summoning @punchline to endorse your effort as well.
this was fun sexymatty please make us an arnie one!
Wow....Nice news..
Thanks for giving us this contest news..
I am ready for this contest....@sreemmatt
Wow what a funny jokes...!!!!!!!!
incredible, posting a very good, thank you