I never shared this story before. I don't know why. It was life-changing. It highlights self-doubt and empowerment exercises. It's a story of impostor syndrome and comparison syndrome before I knew those were actual terms to describe this mindset.
In the late 1990s, when I had a corporate job, I was an ocean marine underwriter for a reinsurance corporation. I had a college education and I had been on the job for about 7 years with training through my manager and other employees working in the department.
There was a program for higher-level training, and I was lucky enough to have been chosen to go from the department. It was in Switzerland.
I was blown away, and beyond honored to be chosen. But when I got there, the caliber of other employees in attendance was extremely intimidating.
Some folks had PhDs and doctorates and held much higher positions in the company. To say I was having an identity crisis is an understatement.
The group training sessions began and there were consultants observing us in the group with the assignments and lessons.
When I was taken aside for the one-on-one assessment, the consultant assigned to me recounted how when I didn't know anything or didn't know what to do, I did nothing. I just sat there.
I was mortified and embarrassed. She followed up with this advice, as I recall it now: when you don't know something or don't know how to do something, offer assistance in areas that could help with the project overall. Offer help that will elevate the group as a whole.
This was extremely empowering, and it stayed with me for the decades that followed. Whenever I was triggered by self-doubt, I would try to take control back with asking,
- “What can I do?”
- “How can I help?”
I recently watched the Arnold Schwarzenegger mini-series documentary on Netflix. He shares how his father used to say, “be useful. Whatever you do in life, be useful.”
That sums up my experience exactly. I hope that helps in some way when you're having a moment of self-doubt or you're paralyzed with self-doubt.
That's very good advice you got back then. 👍 I've also never thought of it that way, but I always make it a point to do my part in group work, whatever that may be. There will always be something we alone can do. 😃
Also that Arnold quote reminded me of something. "Always be useful" is probably what workaholics always think of. Haha. Used to feel "useless" whenever I'm not doing anything because of such mindset, being useful. Doing only things worth doing. Anyway over the years I learned to mellow down and relax and also do nothing without feeling guilty abt it. Everything should be done in moderation. 😉
Thank you!! yah, as far as the useful vs. useless part, I also learned a long time ago if I'm intentional with doing nothing because it's R&R TIME, i don't feel guilty about it.
Posted via D.Buzz
https://leofinance.io/threads/magnacarta/re-magnacarta-2dhfrpbdm
The rewards earned on this comment will go directly to the people ( magnacarta ) sharing the post on LeoThreads,LikeTu,dBuzz.
Thank you @atma.love for your upvote!
Posted via D.Buzz
Many people end up not doing anything when they know they have to do something but aren't sure how to go about it. It was my experience when learning or speaking non-native languages.
Then there are people who aren't sure of what they're doing but they wing it. This is OK when we're younger, especially in school or just out of school. If things don't work out, we learn from the mistakes so that we can do better next time. By the time we're older, we should have less need to wing it.
The overall track record for those who wing it is 50/50, so it's hard to say whether this is a good thing to do or not. Perhaps as we get older we pick our spots in order to get more bang for the buck.
Sometimes it's a mistake to compare ourselves with others, especially when it comes to credentials or education. After all, how many marriage counselors are out there who are on the 3rd or 4th marriage? If we're going to be such lousy mates, we may as well save on the money and forget the higher education! At the same time, sometimes a basic education is all we need to be successful in some endeavor; look no further than the worlds of invention and investing.
It's too late for me to upvote this post, so please accept this slice of !PIZZA, this bit of !LUV, and some !LOL / !LOLZ instead.
lolztoken.com
He uses their algrrrythm
Credit: reddit
@lindarey, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of magnacarta
(1/1)
ENTER @WIN.HIVE'S DAILY DRAW AND WIN HIVE!
$PIZZA slices delivered:
@magnacarta(1/5) tipped @lindarey