The sentience of self-esteem
The S.O.S.e.
By Kyle Gillespie
Since no one reads the Intro.
I will address the silent.
Throughout this book, you will find that I represent myself in my views, opinions and even concepts, theories, as well as confessions. I feel strongly, that my soul’s goal is to imprint on this surface; my intentions and wishes towards society and humanity in general as well as other dimensions and worlds in deep space. I recognize God for the simple possibility that he exists beyond our knowledge.
So I have to admit first of all, and honestly, confess that I believe in an existent GOD. An incarnate of the Universe, even if that is outside of my knowledge to speak upon. Entirely or barely understood, but witnessed in our daily affairs. I consider myself to be a Full Fledged Fan of The Hero Type, Jesus. And furthermore, the Victory which he is first to have claimed- that of Resurrection. Not just for himself, but for others as well. His return will be exciting and awaited by me, should I see the day, eternally. So yeah, I believe in Jesus.
There are many reasons for many things, nowadays. You can create possibilities for everything, if not in your head at first; but to venture into the pursuit of Soul. It's science would, in fact, impress me.
(counter act the injustice, and define it as inner justice.)
Lets look at the word Redemption - Dictionary.com
Redemption:
noun
1.an act of redeeming or atoning for a fault or mistake, or the state of being redeemed.
2.deliverance; rescue.
3.Theology. deliverance from sin; salvation.
4.atone or guilt.
5.repurchase, as of something sold.
6.paying off, as of a mortgage, bond, or note.
7.recovery by payment, as of something pledged.
Funny how the financial things are at the bottom of the list. Just in order of popularity in usage I suppose.
Spirit and Money:
Luck, when artificial intelligence wakes up, one of the things it will learn is the difference between the usage of the word luck, and all of its definitions.
Luck:
noun
1.the force that seems to operate for good or ill in a person's life, as in shaping circumstances, events, or opportunities:
With my luck I'll probably get pneumonia.
2.good fortune; advantage or success, considered as the result of chance:
He had no luck finding work.
3.a combination of circumstances, events, etc., operating by chance to bring good or ill to a person:
She's had nothing but bad luck all year.
4.some object on which good fortune is supposed to depend:
This rabbit's foot is my luck.
Verb phrases, Informal.
5.luck into /onto, to meet, acquire, become, etc., by good luck:
She lucked into a great job.
6.luck out, to have an instance or run of exceptionally good luck:
He lucked out when he made a hole in one during the tournament.
7.luck upon, to come across by chance:
to luck upon a profitable investment.
Idioms
8.down on one's luck, in unfortunate circumstances; unlucky:
She hated to see her old friend so down on her luck.
9.in luck, lucky; fortunate:
We were in luck, for the bakery was still open.
10.luck of the draw, the luck one has in or as if in drawing cards.
11.out of luck, unlucky; unfortunate:
When it comes to getting World Series tickets, we're usually out of luck.
12.push one's luck, Informal. to try to make too much of an opportunity; go too far.
Also, crowd one's luck.
I have made contact with myself over time and forever, and have come to conclude that self-esteem in its self is but esteem. Self-confidence, self-worth, self this, self that. Yet it is inseparable, the self from esteem. Together, they seem to be weaved into the same fabric and so intertwined that they cannot really undergo separation. If we Wikipedia self-esteem, we get this:
In sociology and psychology, self-esteem reflects a person's overall subjective emotional evaluation of his or her own worth. It is a judgment of oneself as well as an attitude toward the self. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs (for example, "I am competent", "I am worthy") and emotions such as triumph, despair, pride, and shame.[1]
Smith and Mackie (2007) defined it by saying "The self-concept is what we think about the self; self-esteem, is the positive or negative evaluations of the self, as in how we feel about it."[2]:107 Self-esteem is attractive as a social psychological construct because researchers have conceptualized it as an influential predictor of certain outcomes, such as academic achievement,[3] happiness,[5] satisfaction in marriage and relationships,[6] and criminal behavior.[6] Self-esteem can apply specifically to a particular dimension (for example, "I believe I am a good writer and feel happy about that") or a global extent (for example, "I believe I am a bad person, and feel bad about myself in general"). Psychologists usually regard self-esteem as an enduring personality characteristic ("trait" self-esteem), though normal, short-term variations ("state" self-esteem) also exist. Synonyms or near-synonyms of self-esteem include: self-worth,[7] self-regard,[8] self-respect, and self-integrity.
I would simply like to point out, that the problem with trying to control the self-esteem of another is that, the self-esteem which they have is sentient, and can be heard through means of awareness of its existence and formidable intelligence. Meaning that one’s self-esteem is strongly dependent upon the interpretation of experiences which they go through, and for it to be properly understood, you need to view your life through the eyes of these individuals who are experiencing such situations.
And also, this particular paragraph actually mentioned criminal behavior. I found that shocking! It dawned on me that this is a form of control and influence on a person's daily routines, thoughts, actions and even choice of words. This implies that self-esteem can either positively or negatively influence involvement in criminal behavior, and when we check criminals, we find them to more likely than not, have such little regard for themselves. This makes me reflect on the research of Sigmund Freud; from Wikipedia again the “Freudian slip.”
A Freudian slip, also called parapraxis, is an error in speech, memory, or physical action that is interpreted as occurring due to the interference of an unconscious ("dynamically repressed") subdued wish, conflict, or train of thought guided by the ego and the rules of correct behavior. They reveal a "source outside the speech". The concept is thus part of classical psychoanalysis.
Slips of the tongue and of the pen are the classical parapraxes, but psychoanalytic theory also embraces a misreading, a mishearing, temporarily forgetting, and the mislaying and losing of objects.
Also I would like to add memories, interpretations, and dreams.
So to connect the two ideas, Freudian slips can be considered as signs or forms of communication by the unconscious mind, soul and spirit, or between the two or more sides of an unrecognizable you. It is found in utterings, slights of the tongue, the tone of voice and language, leading many people to believe and act in ways which they would otherwise not have acted. Also, during repetitive or automatic type activities, we get used to it.
To the point of the title, what parts of the self are defined by us? And which parts are actually under our control? Given that we’re capable of communication through mere body language, what are the possibilities that when we are not looking or paying attention, there may be sentience among us and in my thoughts for example, and which results in me divulging what I deeply understand and truly hear from that source within myself? If this happens, are my actions truly under my conscious control?
For various reasons I have come to believe in the sentience that is within oneself. Rather than be without such a theory, I did like the parable of the seed, I buried the theory in my good ideas and good thoughts section of my brain, never letting people tell me otherwise by explaining the theory to others. For example: how would it sound for me now to say to you “your thoughts don't come from yourself, but from all of us.”? Generally, it's lunacy at that time and place (High School). Nowadays it would be a little more accepted as possibly declaring yourself a “self-psychic”. Still sounds a little off now, in 2017. So to rationalize it in the future I would be forced to say I have invisible friends, one which you know of. “Jesus”. This approach to GOD served me well throughout my days of high school, I researched into whom Jesus was, and I learnt all I could about my own soul and place in the world, and let me admit now, that much of it was out of jealousy, for having a messiah and yet for not being good enough to be considered one myself.
I still walked away from school, (dropped out at 16) and went to work instead at a McDonalds where I ever so slowly began to evolve that theory into a presence, and this slightly relieved various social wants and needs, such as loneliness, lack of motivation, and moodiness.
For a most direct and important example: if I were to have established communication with my self-esteem, giving it sentience from early on, and had grown into a relationship with the personality phenomenon called self-esteem, and later renamed it a spirit; I could then have taken it along with me wherever I went, dissolving all of my loneliness, and it would have comforted me during my most worrisome times, and even if I was having a good day it would reaffirm, that such a thing is true or commit to an argument to keep me humble. This example is drawn from my life. But it's the evolution and maturity of the imaginary friend. And as I age it merges ever closer to me, and my spirituality. I love myself for it. Also, I believe that I have a voice which is independent of generic information/education because of it; as biased as it may be or sound.
However, in opposition to the above, I reconcile my actions as flawed in an educationally mature form. I sometimes purposefully leave the t's and the i's for someone else to dot and cross and I excuse myself by claiming either leadership or artistic reasons;
considering the fact that art in my mind is a high priority pursuit because it has the capability to address various otherwise undiscussed topics.
In essence I propose that because human beings communicate in various ways, that self-esteem is an interconnected being; that of the sentience of our collective race, whether it be subconscious or governed and manipulated externally primarily.
But in lay man's terms;
If you listen closely you can hear your own self-esteem speak; whether it be good or bad.
Don't forget to respond, in kind.
I get into this further during the course of this book. But I should warn you that the grammar, spelling and punctuation are subjective, yet artistic.
Sometimes I feel like I'm writing a long poem, and it's got rhythmic highs and lows.
There will be a section about me in here somewhere and you are likely to pick up on my personality through my writing. If not, then we can talk more about myself there. However, I would like to state that this isn't about me only. This is about us globally, socially, and spiritually; unless this is all a figment of my imagination. That's a joke because self-esteem is the imagination with infinite potential, including subtlety. But I'm going to try to back up a lot of my perspective with Scripture. Most often you will find these scriptures to be from the New Testament of the Bible; mind you I am far from being a pastor or priest or one who gives speeches. This is not a sermon. I guess I'm just telling you this stuff now so that I can figure out where to start. And a quote from Jesus would be nice right now.
Matthew 13 King James Version (KJV)
13 The same day went Jesus out of the house, and sat by the sea side.
2 And great multitudes were gathered together unto him, so that he went into a ship, and sat; and the whole multitude stood on the shore.
3 And he spake many things unto them in parables, saying, Behold, a sower went forth to sow;
4 And when he sowed, some seeds fell by the wayside, and the fowls came and devoured them up:
5 Some fell upon stony places, where they had not much earth: and forthwith they sprung up because they had no deepness of earth:
6 And when the sun was up, they were scorched; and because they had no root, they withered away.
7 And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprung up, and choked them:
8 But others fell into good ground, and brought forth fruit, some an hundredfold, some sixtyfold, some thirtyfold.
9 Who hath ears to hear, let him hear.
I used to wonder why Jesus would say, “who hath ears to hear, let him hear” and was it said in that particular portion of scripture for any specific reason?. And it did come to me early to realize; that Freudian slips are often considered to be the ones of actions rather than one of the words and in verbal communication! So listening is a function of the ear. Unknown to me is how the ear actually works biologically, but as regards the application of what we are talking about in this book, you are to be held responsible for what you hear through your own ears. What I mean by your own ears is that the ability to understand and interpret your awareness of the world should be seen as what is responsible for one's unique life's testimony, as well as responsible for the social change, inspiration, and even legacies and reputations. More or less social change and self-esteem come together when purposeful sentience is respectfully given.
Sentience is a special concept, which describes a certain ability to sense experience personally, as different from what the general opinion is. In a beautiful way, your sentience is personal and known to you regardless of what every other person seems to believe or hold on tightly to. Your sentience is yours and yours alone. The way you understand a particular concept weaves a central fabric throughout your personal experience of that concept. How much of self-esteem you have determines your response to situations within your environment and your interpretations to varying stimuli, whether they be positive or negative. It is sentience that makes one person react in one way, while another reacts in another completely different way to a similar situation; because they might have had similar issues, but sentience is individualistic.
This is what I present to you: the SOSE (the sentience of self-esteem).
It begins simply, with this simple yet profound statement: Not everything you hear will be about you.
I can't count the number of times I have been called something a name or a sound like eww, or other things. But what I do know is that, in order to insulate a mind from stimulation such as what we are talking about, one needs to recognize biology as an adaptive and growing force. So that you can see the famous phrase “what doesn't kill me makes me stronger” applied in your life, you would have to develop what is called a thick skin. Thick skin is metaphorical for psychological endurance when Psyche is believed to be the center of awareness, rather than the awareness of collective peers which usually leads into debates about differing capabilities, and which ends up pointing holes into the self-esteem of the ‘less capable’, affecting their sentience in the long run. This doesn’t have to happen though. It's complicated but I can simplify it into a term Psychosocial environment.
And to rectify any doubts so far, I can prove it. How you say? It's as simple as correction. One must first make contact with the other. So you must correct yourself, for the fact that you were wrong to believe that you are the only one inside of your awareness. Yes, that gives foothold to psychics’ mediums and the spirit world and to general media as well, but we don't put ourselves to sleep and we cannot turn off our dreams or our consciousness; and as a matter of fact, we are not even capable of changing the color of one hair on our heads! So you know the risks that have been taken thus far to secure your livelihood and well-being, not only by yourself but by others for you, i.e. pioneers. And there are safety concerns that need to be considered in order to survive, and to survive awareness or the waking and enlightenment of consciousness on earth, one must first forgive one’s self and repent of the past, even if it's only directed towards your self-esteem. Even now as I write this, I know the durability of my soul and that it can take all forms of aberration. And the belief plays a big part in this, belief in a unifying truth, light, and life. That truth, light, and life are the same that was capable of self-repair. And yet he used it not during the crucifixion and onto death, but until Resurrection- Resurrection being in his hand as well. But I am getting distracted from the main topic.
Included in the walk of faith for a Christian like me is the interpretation of signs, and an ability to judge those as applying to myself and Faith or the world. But just because I said Christian doesn't necessarily mean that you will see me in the church. As you know, there are different dominations encapsulated within Christianity, so it appealed to me to take Christianity on for myself, guided by my personal interpretations of the Bible. And all the while, my interpretations were produced by my mental complex of invisible friendship with God, whom at that point, I was literally referring to as Jesus. To point in his direction, you have proof in you, if you are guided by psychosocial activity as I believe, and I was guided onto a baptism, before avoiding the church.
It's Psychosocial Behavior.
So let's get into it what is psychosocial, and I think we know what behavior is.
Let's Wikipedia psychosocial:
For a concept to be psychosocial means it relates to one's psychological development in, and interaction with, a social environment. The individual needs not be fully aware of this relationship with his or her environment. It was first commonly used by psychologist Erik Erikson in his stages of social development. Contrasted with social psychology, which attempts to explain social patterns within the individual. It is usually used in the context of "psychosocial intervention," which is commonly used alongside psycho-educational or psychopharmacological interventions and points toward solutions for individual challenges in interacting with an element of the social environment.
Problems that occur in one's psychosocial functioning can be referred to as "psychosocial dysfunction" or "psychosocial morbidity." This refers to the lack of development or atrophy of the psychosocial self, often occurring alongside other dysfunctions that may be physical, emotional, or cognitive in nature.
Psychosocial support is an approach to victims of disaster, catastrophe or violence to foster resilience of communities and individuals. It aims at easing resumption of normal life, facilitating affected people's participation to their convalescence and preventing pathological consequences of potentially traumatic situations.
The Association for Psychosocial Studies is a learned society, bringing together researchers, academics and practitioners who are interested in contributing to the development of this exciting inter/trans-disciplinary field of study. The Association for Psychosocial Studies organize regular conferences, seminars and workshops that explore a wide range of psychosocial phenomena and perspectives. The Journal of Psychosocial Studies is a peer reviewed journal available online.
Pathology
However, not all psychosocial activity is therapeutic. In some environments and social movements, such as with post-WW2 East Germany Stasi's zersetzung, which has been called psychosocial crime, the development of the individual is intentionally exploited to cause damage to the individual's ability to form social bonds. This is especially true in the case of manipulation, as here, people take advantage of their underdeveloped social skills and exploit them for selfish gain.
I'd say it gets as deep as propaganda and branding. But thus far has it has its limits defined by one's divine Truth, Light and Way. Hint: relationship with your inner Jesus.
Necrotic Logic versus The Truth of Growth.
The truth is that both of these are concepts that are held firmly in our minds and housed by the imagination itself. Even more is what I believe to be unproven, that the synaptic trees in one’s mind, come in those two forms: as either Necrotic Logic or Growth and truth.
Music as a muse for sign interpretation
It is not enough to have a good imagination, but one requires a strong one as well. You could conquer hell with that!
The mountain that bites.
Interpretative poison.
In the order of the battle of the sexes, and gender.
Being that equality is a standard in most of the societies around the world.
God is ultra uber all day.
Decentralized Christian.
I don't usually attend church, but when I do there is a reason. I am likely to attend when there is a holiday or an occasion to remember. This is the concept of decentralized Christianity by which I live by.