The Earth is Flat

The show intro jingle faded out, replaced by the calm, professional voice of the host.
“Good evening, listeners, and welcome to Cosmic Curiosities, where we explore the wonders and mysteries of our universe. I’m your host, John Keppler, guiding you through the questions that challenge our understanding of the cosmos. Tonight, we’re diving into a unique perspective on our world. Joining us is Charlie, a passionate advocate for the flat-earth theory. Charlie, thanks for being here.”

“Thanks, John! I’m thrilled to share the truth with your audience,” Charlie replied enthusiastically.

John gave a polite nod, his voice steady and professional. “Of course. So, Charlie, what got you into flat-earth theory? What made you start questioning the, uh, mainstream narrative?”

“Well,” Charlie began, leaning forward in his chair, “I used to be just like everyone else, believing what they taught us in school. But then I started watching videos online. That’s when I realized how many inconsistencies there are in the globe model. The more I looked into it, the more it became clear — the Earth is flat. It’s just common sense when you think about it.”

John raised an eyebrow. “Ah, yes, the internet. Where all groundbreaking scientific discoveries are made.”

Charlie nodded vigorously, clearly missing the sarcasm. “Exactly! The truth is out there if you’re willing to look.”

“Right,” John said, suppressing a chuckle. “Let’s get into some of those truths. Solar and lunar eclipses, for instance. How do flat-earth theorists explain those?”

“Oh, that’s easy,” Charlie replied confidently. “The Sun and Moon are actually small objects, floating above the Earth, like spotlights. When their paths cross, the Moon blocks the Sun, and that’s a solar eclipse.”

“And lunar eclipses?” John pressed.

“We’re still working on that one,” Charlie admitted. “But it’s definitely not the Earth’s shadow. Probably some other object getting in the way.”

“Another object? An invisible one, perhaps?” John asked, his tone dripping with dry humor.

“Could be!” Charlie said with complete seriousness. “We’re still investigating.”

John leaned back, folding his arms. “Fascinating. And those space photos of Earth? You claim they’re all fake?”

“Absolutely!” Charlie exclaimed. “Every photo shows the same curve, no matter what direction the camera’s facing. That’s how you know they’re faking it. They want us to believe the Earth is round, so they keep bending the horizon down.”

John tilted his head. “But isn’t that consistency exactly what you’d expect if the Earth were, you know, actually curved?”

Charlie waved the comment away. “No, no. If the Earth were flat, the horizon would sometimes bend upwards when the camera flips. It’s basic logic.”

John blinked, unsure if Charlie was joking. “So NASA, after spending billions faking these images, just forgot about fish-eye lens physics?”

“Exactly!” Charlie grinned. “That’s how they slip up.”

“Got it,” John muttered, clearly skeptical. “Let’s talk about boats disappearing over the horizon. You’ve seen it: the hull vanishes first, then the mast. Doesn’t that suggest the Earth is curved?”

“Not at all,” Charlie said smugly. “That’s just perspective. The further something gets, the smaller it appears. Eventually, the bottom part of the boat disappears because of how our eyes work.”

John stared. “So... the hull vanishes first, but the mast doesn’t, because...?”

“It’s all due to atmospheric refraction,” Charlie said, as if it were obvious. “If you had a strong enough zoom lens, you could bring the whole boat back into view.”

John sighed, rubbing his temples. “So the boat’s not disappearing behind the curve. It’s just... shrinking and hiding behind wavy air?”

“Exactly!” Charlie said triumphantly. “If the Earth were round, the boat would roll off like a ball.”

“Roll off like a ball,” John repeated, his voice flat. “Fascinating.”

“And here’s the kicker,” Charlie added. “Gravity doesn’t even exist.”

John’s jaw tightened. “I’m sorry, what?”

“It’s all about buoyancy and density,” Charlie explained. “Things fall or float based on how heavy they are compared to air or water. Simple.”

“So we’re not held down by gravity. We’re just... heavier than air?” John asked, his voice dripping with disbelief.

“Exactly,” Charlie said with a smile. “Helium balloons float, right? Same principle.”

John chuckled dryly. “So if I just lose a bit of weight, maybe I’ll float away like a balloon?”

“Now you’re thinking outside the globe!” Charlie said, clearly proud of John’s ‘progress.’

John took a deep breath. “Well, Charlie, this has been... enlightening. I’ll never look at boats, balloons, or my own density the same way again.”

“Glad I could help!” Charlie said earnestly. “Remember, question everything they tell you.”

“Oh, I will,” John said, rising from his chair. “Listeners, thank you for joining us tonight on Cosmic Curiosities. Keep questioning, stay buoyant, and don’t let gravity — or logic — weigh you down. Until next time.”

The outro jingle played as John leaned back and sighed, muttering, “I need a drink.”