The question about problems is intriguing to me, but that is another post...
"It is like stroking a hair from your face that has disturbed you from seeing clearly."
I think so much negative attitude can be treated this way, without so much struggle as people generally think.
But.. you are right about emotions I think that people who declare things like, "no regrets", or, "I have no regrets," are most often being very foolish. It takes a lot of self work to achieve that ability, which to me is equivalent to 'enlightenment' or 'prophethood'. Yes, the secret is in fact to deeply feel/process everything..
This is an awesome statement and worthy goal, I think:
"Look at it like watercolors on a palette that have mixed without the painter noticing it, and the moment he wants to put a color on his brush, he is surprised that there is another tone that he can use or leave there."
Too me the questions surrounding transference also speak to the 'staring from behind' phenomena (that you discussed before with Sheldrake's work), and to be frank, I think Western psychology/counseling is determinedly ignorant of. There is a spiritual aspect which is doggedly ignored except for a minority of counselors, and often these take it overboard and fall to too much imagination and emotionality regarding the underlying reality of 'it'.
However, it is the 'theory' that lacks, not the ability to deal with it. In practice the approaches you desrcibe, if properly applied, will circumvent/deal with the arising challenges. As you said in the audio: "...decide internally to not disagree externally.."
"Sometimes, I must change my inner notion towards a client because my doubt was making me tense.".
...it's interesting how intuition comes back into the picture, which to me answers the question of distortion. As humans we actually can 'know' what to do without analytics and cognitive understanding. Not that these things aren't valuable and worth pursuing.. maybe one day we will succeed in closing the circle between what we understand and what we know.
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I feel grateful to you because it is good for me to realize how carefully you have read and heard what I am trying to convey. Thank you very much for that. It is comforting to have such an interaction with you.
Also, you connected the dots and take in what I wrote beforehand and put it together with your perception of the world.
What you say is consistent with how I perceive people myself and what I hear or read about them. Basically, academic knowledge on this large scale about mental disorders seems to be needed to understand oneself. Otherwise, it is really incomprehensible why the catalogue of diagnoses in the DSMV is so extensive if there were not also a great interest in understanding one's own personality traits as a practitioner, counsellor or therapist. This extensive catalogue is contrasted by even more extensive method papers. One does not have to delude oneself, the sheer quantity of publications is only helpful if I also find the time to read certain material, to understand it and to compare it with my treatment practice. You can see, because there is so much theory, a classical practicing clinician would have to be busy with self-reflection and supervision on his own initiative and knowing himself would have to be his primary goal. In fact, I believe that this is either a conscious or unconscious goal of a person working as a therapist. He should be willing to learn from the patient and not to distance himself in this process or to project a problem onto the patient alone, which then has to be solved.
From my own experience I know that the method kit is not worth much if I do not accept my inner world as an active part of the interaction or relationship with a person.
As you say, the space between analytical and cognitive knowledge and real understanding should allow these two to meet. Since they are in reality inseparable anyway, only that people lose themselves in analysis and stay too long, which is merely the division of conceptuality and splits into ever smaller parts. In the end, where the analytical mind can no longer get any further and man meets himself, the potential can unfold.
What I used many words for but wanted to support what you so pointedly said:
Theories can be stretched endlessly into the universe:)
In my world of experience it is not a protracted act, but it occurs in a matter of seconds and must always be repeated, because nothing stands still and an encounter of numerous emotions is determined, which again and again trigger new shakes, which I can overcome again and again.
Where I have not dissolved the shaking fluidly for myself, I have the feeling after a consultation that I have failed. There are moments when I sent clients away or did not support them in their decision to do this or that. What is interesting for me is that this usually has something to do with the fact that I perceive that a client is not willing to recognize his own part in a conflict or to take a perspective on it. Funnily enough, this has to do with a client's desire to do something about an alleged injustice committed against him, either through a lawyer or in court. My inner anger then had to do with the fact that I was not prepared to let go of my control, since it seemed clear to me that a judicial method would not be able to resolve the conflict, whereas the client meant this. However, it is very easy to leave control to the client: Quite simply, by deciding to do it at the moment of its emergence. Than, the sense of failure goes away.
This means that it is wise to recognize the difference between when I just reject a client's decision and when I reject the client as a whole. I can simply stand by my view and say: I recommend something other than a lawyer. And the anger of the client, because I don't carry his decision with me, let it fly past me, wish him all the best sincerely and honestly.
This is something what gives hope and befriends people with people. I deeply believe it's true.