"Whisper" Discipline

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My 5 year old stood in front of me with a smirk on his face. I was in the kitchen attempting to heat up spaghettios and watch him (underfoot as usual) to make sure he didn’t try to touch the flame under the pot! The last thing I wanted was for him to burn himself, but he required my full attention. He was ready to defy me regarding getting too close to the stove when it dawned on me! 

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I squatted down to his level, looked him in the eyes and whispered: “Don’t touch the stove. It will hurt really bad!” He giggled and slowly raised his hand to challenge me, looking at me like he always did as if he thought we were playing a game.  It’s all he knew to do!  

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I again whispered to him: “Don’t do it . . .” Again he giggled and began to laugh. Who was this NEW Dad who was playing this new whispering game with him?! With a thrill of defiant curiosity, he giggled and raised his hand to the flame, looking at me the whole time, as if to say: “I know you’re going to freak out any minute! You always do!!” 

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For a third time, but more forcefully I whispered,: “DON’T DO IT” Again he giggled, now hysterically, and promptly placed his little fingers directly in the flame! A piercing scream emanated from his mouth and his Mother ran into the kitchen. “Why didn’t you stop this?” She yelled at me. “Oh my goodness, poor baby”, she cried as my son screamed hysterically.  She whisked him into the bathroom and treated and wrapped his two burned fingers, and as the pain began to subside in my son, he stopped screaming but continued to sob. Both of them just sat there, sobbing and glaring at me.

A week later, my son and I were out in the front yard having fun; he was no worse for the wear and his trust in me appeared to be fully restored. We lived in a cul-du-sac and there were some neighbor teens recklessly riding motorbikes up and down the street. My wife yelled out from our screen door: “Don’t let him run out in the street”. This was his signal to take off running to the street! (You experienced parents know what I mean!) I decided to test my theory and I stooped down and whispered to him “Don’t run out into the street; stay in the grass!”

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He snapped his head around with a look of alarm in his eyes and said, “Okay Daddy” and stood there in the yard watching the kids play in the street. I walked back to the screen door and I told my wife what I did. She was astonished! And from that point forward, anytime we needed to reign him in and away from possible hazards or dangerous circumstance, we would simply whisper “DON’T DO IT” and he would snap to attention and follow our orders without challenge. 

Now he is 36 years old and he doesn’t remember burning his fingers, but if I or my wife whisper to him “Don’t Do It”, he pauses and thinks about it before continuing with whatever he is doing. We never had to raise our voices to him and he is anticipating using the same tactics on his children. Whisper Discipline! Try it, all you first time parents, and save yourself a lot of frustration while protecting your children with very little effort. And for those who think I’m just a big MEANIE, in my next post I’ll tell you how we got him to do just about anything we wanted by making it his idea. Not for the Squeamish . . .

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